Psychiatric confusion with love in school literature. E. Pushkarev
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This article is part of the "school block":
"First love" is an important step in puberty. E. Pushkarev
Psychiatric confusion with love in school literature. E. Pushkarev
The second stage of love mania and Anna Karenina. E. Pushkarev
Natasha Rostova and Pierre Bezukhov. Examples of true love. E. Pushkarev
The grammar of love. Ivan Bunin
The concept of love in the stories of I.A. Bunin. O. Eremina
Love and the "Garnet Bracelet". L.G. Boring
Dramaturgy of love. E. Pushkarev
"Literature has played a huge role in the love cult." M.O. Menshikov, philosopher of the XIX century. 
The topic of inter-sex individual love has been of interest to a person throughout his entire history, and in the last five millennia, mankind has begun to actively comprehend it: legends, myths, philosophical treatises, novels, songs, poems, folk art, cinema, television, the Internet.
But there is still no single consistent concept of intersexual individual love and its definition, on the one hand, and on the other hand, huge mountains of love literature, popular and folk dramaturgy, in which endless lamentations about love in its various forms , modes, colors and melodies. As a result, the situation is such that the question of love for a modern person is equal in importance to the question of the meaning of life, and for many it is identical to it. Living life and not loving, living life and not being loved is not the worst nightmare? Especially for the young.
Because of this ambiguity with love in literature, including school literature, an article on love cannot do without a definition of love in order to understand what is meant by this concept.
E. Fromm's theory of love, its systematization, analysis of the psychological content, was the most discussed, studied in the twentieth century, it undoubtedly influenced its subsequent research. And it is especially necessary to highlight his main book on this topic “The Art of Love. Investigation of the nature of love ”, although in others he repeatedly returned to its analysis and additions.
And one more clarifying sign: "Caring and responsibility mean that love is an activity, not a passion that has seized someone, and not an affect that has captured someone." 
This is the most meaningful definition of love, it gives a direction, a general outline, indicates the key components of love. It can even be used as a test: if there is no fruitfulness in relationships, care, responsibility, respect, sufficient knowledge about a partner, then this is not love. But it cannot be considered academic because it does not reveal the key components of love and its origins.
If writers and poets call any attraction between a man and a woman, without thinking too much, love with a variety of epithets, less often falling in love, then E. Fromm introduced and explained a number of new concepts: "true love", "Fruitful love", "mature love". The most fundamental kind of love that forms the basis of all types of love is "brotherly love." Also: "pseudo love", "there are many individual forms of love pathology", "sterile or irrational love", "love-worship", "false love", "sentimental love", "neurotic love", "immature form of love" or "Symbiotic union", "being in love is one of the forms of pseudo-love", "erotic love is the most deceptive form of love ...", "often erotic love is understood as an unproductive form of love ...". "Due to the fact that sexual desire in the understanding of most people is connected with the idea of love, they easily fall into the delusion that they love each other when they are physically attracted to each other." 
“Erich Fromm about love. Terms and concepts"
Love addiction in works of art and its interpretation in literature lessons.
And if there is still no general agreement with the definition of love, then with a painful love passion it is, "idolatrous love", "obsessive love", "drug addiction love", "toxic love", "compulsive love", "too much love", " more than love ”this is what E. Fromm called“ an individual form of the pathology of love ”,“ symbiotic union ”, there is a complete documentary and academic certainty. These passionate relationships have already been sufficiently studied in the last century and entered into the International Classifier of Diseases - 10 (ICD-10).
Love addiction in ICD-10 is referred to mental disorders, in the section “ Disorders of habits and impulses ”(F63) in subsection F 63.9. Common symptoms for her are the following: obsessive thoughts about something else, sudden mood swings, overestimated self-esteem, self-pity, insomnia or interrupted sleep, rash, impulsive actions, changes in blood pressure, headaches. 
Both psychotherapists and clinical psychologists are trained to work with love addicts. Love addiction is a treatable disorder but, like alcoholism, the cure rate is low, as the desire or willingness to get rid of it is rare. At the initial stage, love addicts are unaware of the seriousness of their disorder, and in the advanced, compulsive stage, the sufferer gets so used to this disorder that he is already calmer in it than in a healthy life.
If Leo Tolstoy's description love of Natasha Rostova and Pierre Bezukhov can be called the most an outstanding example of true love in the history of literature, since this love in all respects corresponds to the definition of love by E. Fromm.  That description Anna Karenina's passion for Vronsky can be taken as an example in a textbook on psychiatry, in the section “love addictions in joint (married) life, ”that is, when the premarital courtship has ended.  Based on this tragic, but talented and detailed story, it is possible with a high degree of probability to predict how addictive relationships would develop like the literary heroes Romeo and Juliet, Jose and Carmen, poor Lisa and Erast, Othello and Desdemona, Zheltkov and Vera Nikolaevna, and the real people of Abelard and Eloise, Petrarch and Laura, Dante and Beatrice.
From school essays:
"Anna Karenina embodies the image of a person created for great love, but who has comprehended the laws of reality that destroyed her." 
"The world has not forgiven Anna for open and honest love."
"The drama of Anna Karenina lies in the fact that she, having the purest moral feelings and thoughts, came into conflict with her environment, her era." [thirty]
It should be noted that in real life there is no great love, there is normal love or just love , different types of pseudo-love, which include falling in love, love addiction, lust.  In different eras, there were various amorous standards that will continue to change, but love, like is a natural phenomenon  as well as the body temperature of a person at all times are the same.
There is a detailed analysis of of the painful, addictive relationship between Anna Karenina and Vronsky.  L.N. Tolstoy described not a premarital addiction, but an already painful relationship after the lovers began a joint, in fact, marriage life.
L. N. Tolstoy is not only the greatest writer - psychologist, but also the psychoanalyst brings to us the originality of such emotional reactions that, without the psychological depth of his approach, would hardly have been revealed at all in fiction and in special literature, they are deeply human and play an essential role in behavior personality in general.
This is how the famous Russian psychotherapist N. Ye. Osipov called the works of L. N. Tolstoy "psychoanalysis in artistic form" and in his works he mentioned the name of the writer no less often than the name of the founder of psychoanalytic doctrine Z. Freud.
From a professional point of view, I was attracted by the work of Leo Tolstoy, the famous physiologist IP Pavlov. About Anna's inner monologue, when she hurries to the Nizhegorodsky railway station before her end, IP Pavlov, for example, will say that "science here comes up against something that should be done from its position." 
And psychiatric science conscientiously fulfilled this order of IP Pavlov, but our culture stubbornly does not notice it.
When Leo Tolstoy wrote the novel, he, of course, did not think about love addiction and the neurotic need for love, but it so happened that he chose love addiction as a prototype of the relationship between Anna Karenina and Vronsky. extremely severe compulsive, irresistible stage. And due to his genius, the pathology turned out to be so romantic, expressive, bright, and therefore contagious.
Unrequited passion is a kind of love addiction.
A common type of love addiction is Unrequited Love. The sweetheart (lover) may or may not be aware of the deep and strong romantic affection of the admirer (fan). The inability of the unrequited "lover" to express and fulfill their emotional needs often leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, or mood swings between depression and euphoria. 
A. I. Kuprin was a great adherent of the sublime romantic description of unrequited love - love addiction: “It was one, all-forgiving, ready for anything, modest and selfless love”. 
This is how the theme of love in the story of A. I. Kuprin "Garnet Bracelet" is recommended to be considered by the teacher of the Russian language and literature of the secondary school No. 32 in Astrakhan. Irina Viktorovna Polyakova, Natalya Valerievna Kritskaya: “For Zheltkov, loving Vera Nikolaevna even without reciprocity is“ tremendous happiness ”. He is grateful to her for the fact that for eight years she was for him "the only joy in life, the only consolation, the only thought." Saying goodbye to her, he writes: "As I leave, I am delighted to say:" Hallowed be Thy name".
“Zheltkov is great with his suffering, his love. Vera Nikolaevna understood this too, remembering the words of General Amosov: "Maybe your life path, Vera, has crossed exactly the kind of love that women dream about and which men are no longer capable of."
The "little man" rises, becomes great with his sacrificial love". 
“The writer sings sublime love, opposing it to hatred, enmity, distrust, antipathy, indifference. Through the lips of General Anosov, he says that this feeling should not be frivolous, nor primitive, nor, moreover, based on profit and self-interest: “Love should be a tragedy. The greatest secret in the world! touch". Love, according to Kuprin, should be based on lofty feelings, on mutual respect, honesty and truthfulness. She must strive for the ideal.
Such was Zheltkov's love. A petty official, a lonely and timid dreamer, falls in love with a young society lady, a representative of the so-called upper class. For many years, unrequited and hopeless love has been going on ”. 
“He leaves life without complaint, without reproach, saying like a prayer:“ Hallowed be thy name ”. Zheltkov dies blessing his beloved woman. This is how A. Kuprin describes love. You read and think: probably this does not happen in life. But, contrary to common sense, I want it to be".
“Books by A. Kuprin leave no one indifferent, on the contrary, they always beckon to them. Young people can learn a lot from this writer: humanism, kindness, spiritual wisdom, the ability to love, appreciate love". [1, p.505, 506]
In the story "Garnet Bracelet" Kuprin with all the strength of his skill develops the idea of true love. He does not want to accept the vulgar, practical views of love and marriage, drawing our attention to these problems in a rather unusual way, equal to the ideal feeling. Through the lips of General Anosov, he says: "... People in our time have forgotten how to love! I do not see true love. And in my time I have not." What is it?
A person who was able to fall in love so much must have some kind of special perception of the world. Although Zheltkov was just a small official, he turned out to be above social norms and standards. People like them are elevated by rumor to the rank of saints, and a bright memory of them lives on for a long time. 
Schoolgirl on the topic "Is true love always tragic?" (The final essay) examines the love of the heroes of the works of A. I. Kuprin "Olesya" and "Pomegranate Bracelet" in full accordance, as they explained in the literature lesson in deliciously tragic tones: “When I leave, I am delighted to say:“ Hallowed be Thy name ””.
The last paragraph of her composition:
“From the above examples, we see that true love is always tragic. The raised issue made me think about the role of true love in human life. I came to the conclusion that it is better not to love anyone, so that life does not end in tragedy". 
Here a poet can say: “we are not given to predict how our word will respond,” he is a free personality, but the teacher is simply obliged to predict how his word will respond in the minds, souls and further life of students whom he entrusted to educate.
This is what you don't need to learn from the works of A. Kuprin, this is “the ability to love” just like that because he confused love, this is “a fruitful relationship to others and to oneself” (according to Fromm), with love addiction ... A person who is fruitful towards others and towards himself will never commit suicide.
It will be worthwhile to remind that the plot for his star work A.I. Kuprin took from real life. There lived a certain petty telegraph official P.P. Zholtikov, who was hopelessly, touchingly in love with Lyudmila Ivanovna, the wife of Dmitry Nikolaevich, Alexander Ivanovich's beloved relative through his wife. Dmitry Nikolaevich and Lyudmila Ivanovna Lyubimov considered P.P. Zholtikov was mentally ill and treated this story, which lasted several years, ironically. 
A P.P. Zholtikov expounded all the emotional impulses of his passionate love in letters to Lyudmila Ivanovna, naturally he did not receive answers and most likely was quite satisfied with the situation, because he did not show any greater activity. This is a common plot from the era of courtly love, but for the era of late romantic love this plot is insipid.
Therefore, A.I. Kuprin, with all the might of his talent, the hero of the "Garnet Bracelet" telegraph operator Zheltkov, doomed to suicide, about which P.P. Zheltikov did not even think about it. Here's an example of how a silly everyday situation can be turned into a high-profile tragedy.
E. Fromm selects a qualifying term to designate this morbid pseudo-love of the hero of the work of A.I. Kuprin's "love-worship" and how a psychoanalyst explains its nature:
“A form of pseudo-love, which is often encountered and is often perceived (and even more often depicted in films and novels) as“ great love ”, is love-worship. If a person has not reached the level at which he acquires a sense of authenticity, his own "I", thanks to the productive realization of his own capabilities, he tends to "worship" a loved one. He is alienated from his own forces and projects them onto a loved one, whom he reveres as the highest good (summum bonum), the embodiment of love, light, bliss. In this process, he deprives himself of any sense of his own strength, loses himself in a loved one instead of finding himself in him. <>
This worship-love is often described as true, great love; but although it, it would seem, should testify to the strength and depth of love, in reality it only reveals the hunger and despair of the worshiper". 
After all, A.I. Kuprin's works about true love , for example "Lilac Bush". In this story, he described the true love of Vera and her husband Nikolai Evgrafovich Almazov. This is down-to-earth, daily, positive love, after analyzing it, we will make sure that it fully complies with all the signs of E. Fromm's definition of love.
But school culture ideologists for some reason do not like normal love, they stubbornly and selflessly gravitate towards dangerous pathological passions. It will not be difficult to imagine how the schoolgirl would have finished her final essay if she had chosen the topic, not “Is true love always tragic?”, But “Lilac bush” or love Pierre Bezukhov and Natasha Rostova as examples of love, according to E. Fromm, of genuine, fruitful, mature love. "And I want to love too."
Modern science supplements and clarifies the conclusions of E. Fromm: A. L. Fedosova, Ph.D. at pskh. D.: “The main motive of individuals with a tendency to addictive forms of behavior is an active change in their mental state, which does not satisfy them, which they speak of as“ gray ”,“ boring ”,“ monotonous ”,“ apathetic ”.
Crazy and unhappy love, which brings pain and suffering even at the beginning of a relationship, is not a real healthy love, but represents "hunger", "thirst" for a loved one, an analogy of drug addiction, and therefore is also called "drug love". This feeling can be mutual or vice versa, but in any case it is as misleading as drugs and alcohol ...".
All love addicts experience almost the same set of passions from boundless, universal euphoria to deep depression, from mystical transcendence to uncontrollable anger, from suffering, to happiness, but when a genius experiences this, he, by virtue of his gift, describes it in such a sublime, romantic, colorful way. and because it is contagious that it seems he, and these sufferings are a kind of exclusivity, God's mark of the elect. According to statistics, there are many love addicts among ordinary people who experience no less passions, emotional changes, suffering and ecstasy, delight and mental pain.
The most vivid, enthusiastic, highly artistic, and therefore infectious love addictions in the format of unrequited love, due to their poetic genius, described Dante to Beatrice, Petrarch to Laura.
"800 modern essays on Russian and world literature for grades 5-11" :
“Among the enthusiastic singers of love, the great Italian poet of the Renaissance, Francesco Petrarca, stands out. He owns the most sincere poetic lyric confession about love carried through his whole life:
Blessed day, month, summer, hour
And the moment when my gaze met those eyes!
Blessed is that land, and that land is bright,
Where I became a prisoner of beautiful eyes! [1, s271]
I can see - without eyes; without a tongue - I scream.
I call for the end - and again I pray: "Have mercy!"
I swear to myself - and yet I drag out my days.
My cry is my laugh.
I don't need neither life, nor death.
I am tormenting my own - I want ...
And here is my reward for the ardor of my heart!
Until the last moment, Petrarch remained faithful to the memory of Laura. More than three hundred sonnets are dedicated to the light image of the beloved girl ”. [1, s272]
Above were the descriptions of painful experiences of love addicts as it is presented in literature lessons. For the sake of completeness, a list of signs of the same is given, compiled by psychiatrists, MD. Ts. P. Korolenko and N. V. Dmitrieva, they define love addiction as addiction of relationships with fixation on another person.
1. The addict devotes a disproportionate amount of time and attention to the person to whom the addiction is directed. Thoughts about the "loved one" dominate the mind, becoming an overvalued idea. The process carries the features of obsession, combined with violence, from which it is extremely difficult for the sufferer to get rid of.
2. The addict is at the mercy of experiencing unrealistic expectations in relation to another person who is in the system of these relations, without criticizing his condition.
3. A love addict forgets himself, ceases to take care of himself and to think about his needs outside the addictive relationship. This also applies to the attitude towards family and friends. The addict has serious emotional problems centered on the fear that he tries to suppress, including the fear of abandonment. Fear is often subconscious. [nine]
With admiration and delight describes the teacher - organizer of the MBOU "Krasnogorbatskaya secondary school" N.V. Khayanov Ivan Sergeevich Turgenev's painful passion for Pauline Viardot. This dramatic story, which distorted Ivan Sergeevich's entire life, is well known and is described in detail, therefore does not constitute labor to qualify it as a love addiction. The teacher N.V. Khayanova and his students are presented as an example of bright love. 
Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet and its consequences.
Literature teacher; Candidate of Philology, Associate Professor of the Department of Russian Literature of the 20th Century and Foreign Literature of Yelets State University named after I. A. Bunin, E. V. Isaeva:
"This is a work about the cruelty of the world, about the power of love, about the growing up of young heroes."
"Love in tragedy appears as a great educator: heroes grow up, make important decisions, take responsibility."
“For them, the highest value is love. Therefore, they cannot remain in the world one without the other, therefore they choose death. Even their words are similar".
“Young heroes of W. Shakespeare joyfully met their love, which entered their lives unexpectedly. They could not live without each other, preferring death, but their death opened the eyes of their parents; Shakespeare showed that love is really stronger than death". “Tragedy is a dramatic work that depicts the hero's collision with the world, his death and the collapse of the ideal. But in Shakespeare's play there is no tragedy of love, the feelings of the heroes triumph, although they themselves perish, defending their ideal". 
"They were united by love. The tragedy of love of Romeo and Juliet", composition.
However, time has shown that bright and ardent love cannot be defeated by any enmity and hatred. Hiding their feelings from their parents, the main characters fought for their happiness, overcame the obstacles that life put before them - and in this struggle they became stronger. 
An example from another source. "800 contemporary essays on Russian and world literature for grades 5-11" :
“Only young, pure people who are not bound by prejudices can love like that. And only brave natures act so decisively, striving to unite their lives, although fate inexorably divorces them".
"This story will be in literature as long as humanity loves" [1, p.126, 127]
But the above school point of view has scientific opponents.
"Romeo and Juliet" is not a play about love, let alone sex. That is why, by the way, she is a tragedy. Why? Let's figure it out now.
There is such a science - developmental psychology. She studies how and at what age certain mental functions are formed in a person - perception, speech, memory, thinking.
So: at the age at which Romeo and Juliet were (14-16 years old), a person's ability to choose his social environment is formed.  And falling in love  at this age occurs quite often, and intersexual individual love  never.
E. Fromm explained what an "immature form of love" is, "erotic love is the most deceptive form of love", "often erotic love is understood as an unproductive form of love." "Due to the fact that sexual desire in the understanding of most people is connected with the idea of love, they easily fall into the delusion that they love each other when they are physically attracted to each other." 
Various feelings of love and being in love. E. Pushkarev.
The play describes 5 days in the life of lovers who have already gone through their bed debut during this time.
These lovers are dissolved in each other and they don't need anyone else. The most striking example is Romeo and Juliet from the tragedy of the same name by William Shakespeare, they loved each other so passionately that literally the next day after they met, they decide to get married, and then they generally die one after the other, because they cannot live without each other. And after all, many dream of such a relationship, of such love, not realizing that there is just no love here, but only codependent relationships. [fourteen]
Besides, "From my point of view, all Romeos are the deepest neurotics." This diagnosis was made by the corresponding member of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, Ph.D., psychotherapist M. Ye. Litvak 
When a poet connects emotional experiences of love, suicide, death with a single highly artistic chain, unconscious mechanisms are imposed, painted in sublime ennobled colors. L.S. Vygotsky referred to this as "subtle poison."  This is only at first as the first dose, this poison is subtle, but when these doses accumulate for centuries, and even blessed by the school, it already turns into a formed worldview and a guide to action.
Shakespeare wrote Romeo and Juliet at the very end of the 16th century. and at that time, young people experiencing a variety of amorous inclinations and in their thoughts did not have to repeat their crazy act. But two centuries pass and a cult of unhappy love appears in Europe, love without reciprocity, which is portrayed as so sublime and beautiful that, even dying from it, the hero causes admiration and envy. And as a consequence, after the release of the novel in the letters of JV Goethe "The Sorrows of Young Werther" (1774), a real epidemic of suicides began in imitation of his hero. 
At the same time, amorous suicidality came to Russian literature: N.M. Karamzin "Poor Liza", which is also studied at school, as a new, high level of love.
After these striking works, a lot of similar amorous - suicidal clones were written, who "ennobled, elevated" and unleashed a tragic suicidal flywheel.
The pathological story beautifully written by Shakespeare turned out to be Chekhov's gun, which he hung on the wall and then, for several centuries to this day, the store of this gun is replenished with cartridges. And simultaneously with the replenishment of cartridges, this gun has long been shooting and killing both adults and children every day and several times a day. And the cartridges in this gun will last for more than one century.
It is not true that there is no story sadder in the world than the story of Romeo and Juliet, sadder, and even worse tragic are the consequences of this story, which are counted in the number of victims as in a big war.
Excerpts from the forum of a youth site about love:
“I envy those people who can jump off the roof because of love. This is necessary, a person has love - the biggest problem! That is, there is no more serious reason for suicide ... I want that too ”.
“I myself am an unsuccessful (unfortunately) suicide, and, as paradoxical as it sounds, I like it ... I swallowed pills, cut my veins and poisoned myself with gas, but everything was in vain - someone always came and saved me ... Perhaps it became part of my lifestyle ... I believe that suicide is one of the best ways of self-expression, a demonstration of inner Freedom and totalitarian Anarchy ... And suicide out of love is also beautiful ...".
“This is wonderful ... I have always dreamed and continue to dream that someone would die because of love for me. And if I love this person, our hearts will be reunited in heaven".
The page on which the topic of this forum was located was on the site and replenished for several years, but after the presidential decree N 761 (1.06.12)  and the campaign against the propaganda of youth suicidality was removed. It turns out that it is impossible to promote child, youth suicidality on the Internet, but at school it is possible.
The fact that the statements on the forum are not empty fantasies is evidenced by the sad statistics:
According to the data of the Investigative Committee of the Russian Federation, in 2014 737 teenagers committed suicide.  (2 teenagers per day)
From another source.
According to the Social Security Agency, 2800 children (5-18 years old) (7.7 teenagers per day) voluntarily leave life in our country every year. 14,157 minors have committed suicide in the last 5 years. During the same time in Russia, the number of suicide cases increased by 60% ... 
In 2013, Russia, according to the chief state sanitary doctor of the Russian Federation, academician of the Russian Academy of Medical Sciences G. Onishchenko, again ranks first in Europe in the number of suicides among children and adolescents. 
... we have compiled a characterization of the personality of those who intentionally committed suicide because of unrequited love, which are mainly women (the ratio with men is about 1 / 2.5) under the age of 25 (76%) (in this age category, minors aged 15 to 16 are in the lead (21%), the remaining age groups were distributed as follows: from 17 to 18 years old - 16%, from 19 to 20 years old - 14%, from 21 years old to 22 years old - 13%, from 23 to 25 years old - 8%, from 13 to 14 years old - 4%).
After 25 years, suicidal activity due to unrequited love decreases markedly and by the age of 36 it practically disappears. The share of minors among suicides for this reason was 41%, which raises concerns. 
Opinion of non-school professionals about passionate drives from literature.
Opinion of psychotherapists A. Babin, N. Anikina: “Try to answer without thinking: what is the play“ Romeo and Juliet ”about? The automatic answer, of course, is "About love." And this is the only possible wrong answer. As a work of genius, "Romeo and Juliet" is about everything; and only love is absent in this phenomenon of art ...".
The opinion of the psychologist A.L. Fedosova, candidate of pskh. N .: “Unfortunately, the love that is sung in literary sources and is a role model is precisely love addiction. The stories of Romeo and Juliet, Petrarch and Laura, Jose and Carmen, Anna Karenina and Vronsky and other excellent descriptions of such relationships show people exactly what true love should be. Full of suffering and anxiety, obstacles and humiliation, most likely without prospects and flowing like sand. The vast majority of love songs are about addictive relationships. The series, in which the heroes overcome almost impossible obstacles, suffer from bullying and betrayal, and in the end get what they want, praise the love addiction. People from childhood are brought up on such examples, forming a stereotype that true love can and should be unhappy and full of suffering". 
Anthropologist S. Klemin's opinion: “As you know, in the space of human culture, the lacuna of love occupies, perhaps, almost the main place in works of art, fiction. However, the wonderful feeling shown in the plots, images, annals of the world classics, representing for many high examples of love, unfortunately, is a form of love dependence.
Painful, amorous-neurotic state is represented as a love ideal. The world famous amorous stories of Orpheus and Eurydice, Tristan and Isolde, Mejnun and Leili, Romeo and Juliet, Petrarch and Laura, Vronsky and Karenina, Pozdnyshev and Lisa, Jose and Carmen, Rezanov and Conchita and many others are full of tragedy, misfortune, anxiety, illusory hopes, senseless torment. Unfortunately, in the majority of poems, plays, songs, romances about love, it is dependent relationships that inevitably lead to dramatic events, often tragic endings, are sung.
The dramatic story of Dante's heavy love experiences with Beatrice Portinari is indicative, which brought the author of The Divine Comedy a lot of inner suffering (however, and inspiration, which allowed Dante's genius to reveal his poetic gift to the fullest extent).
It is also enough to recall the famous "Garnet Bracelet" by A. Kuprin, which ended in the suicide of a lover, the heavy "Mitya's Love" by I. Bunin, which has an equally tragic conclusion, or the "sentimental novel" by I. Goethe "The Suffering of Young Werther", which deeply struck contemporaries ...".
Opinion B. Yu. Shapiro - Dean of the Faculty of the Moscow School of Economics, Ph.D. Sci., Associate Professor, Full Member of the Academy of Pedagogical and Social Sciences: “The fact that in the USSR and now in Russia, schoolchildren are brought up mainly on examples of romantic love, has led to the fact that more than one life was twisted and broken. Romantic love originated in the Middle Ages, it is beautiful, and, in fact, most of the current courtship rituals are built on the canons of romantic love, but it is very dangerous. In the version of romantic love, emotional blinding occurs. The person does not see the realities of the one he or she loves. The second point is that a person becomes psychologically dependent. The slogan of romantic love sounds creepy: "I can't live without you." In fact, a person loses part of his self.
In fact, romantic love is similar to drug addiction. A person gets used to it and cannot free himself. There are hooks that hold. But the passion passes, the veil falls from the eyes, a tough disappointment sets in. A romantic person in love is very sensitive, the symptoms of such love are comparable to neurotic ones: poor sleep, gastrointestinal disorders, emotional swing. The overwhelming majority of suicidal people who end their lives because of unhappy love are addicted romantic lovers. In contrast to romantic love, realistic love is characterized by a clear vision of most of the traits of his partner and acceptance of him for who he is". 
Opinion I. A. Shapoval, Ph.D. D.: “Codependency in the form of stereotypes of behavior and feeling in the civilization process of the cultural tradition, especially the Russian one, was accepted and approved by society as an ideal, was promoted by art and literature. Any encroachment on these stereotypes is perceived as a deliberate revolt - the revolt of Anna Karenina in Tolstoy, Katerina in Ostrovsky and many other characters. On the other hand, the stories of Romeo and Juliet, Solveig, young Werther are interpreted as stories of great love, and not an obvious pathology of relationships". 
The fact that people suffered from addicted relationships and wanted to get rid of them has been known since ancient times, and the first medical book for these sufferings was written at the very beginning of our era by Ovid "The Medicine for Love". 
Love cannot be treated with herbs.
It is easier to achieve an end in love than moderation. 
Even before W. Shakespeare wrote "Romeo and Juliet" "psychiatry began to consider sickly love in the oldest classification of mental illnesses by Felix Plater (1614), the first classification that emerged after the ancient classifications was distinguished as the disease" Amor ". [eight]
Opinion of Candidate of Medical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Psychiatry S.I. Voroshilina: “Love addiction is a kind of additive behavior with fixation on one person, perceived as passionate love. This behavioral disorder leads to the impossibility of starting a family or destroys the family, to conflicts, crimes, suicide, psychosomatic and neurotic disorders. Because of the heterogeneity of the clinical manifestations of love addiction, it is proposed to refer to this disorder as "love disorder." Patients with this disorder rarely seek psychological and medical help due to the low publicity of this disorder. Therefore, it is very important for the prevention of love addiction to inform the population about this disease and the differences between normal love and love addiction ”. [4, p.70]
In modern Russian society, the problem of dependent (addictive) behavior is becoming more and more acute every year. The percentage of people suffering from some type of addiction is increasing everywhere . The situation is aggravated by the fact that the rejuvenation of addictive behavior is steadily occurring, which is especially unpleasant, since addictive behavior distorts the process of personality formation, leads to its degradation, gross distortion, and often to death. 
It can be noted that the same Ministry of Education and Science trains specialists for treating love addictions and promoting this addiction at school.
A sociological study of the pedagogical elite was carried out. First, a summary of this article was sent to all heads of the departments of literature in teacher training universities, universities in order to learn about the need to discuss the topic of interpreting passionate love at school - not the slightest reaction. Then letters were sent to federal education agencies, centers of teaching aids, scientific and methodological centers, centers for the study of educational problems, education departments, academies of various humanities, literature teachers who have their own websites, the Ministry of Education and Science, the Chairman of the Russian Society " Knowledge ", deputy of the State Duma, professor, doctor of pedagogical sciences. Dukhanina L.N. Since 2011, more than a hundred letters have been written - no reaction.
First, the analysis of passionate relationships in fiction, which are enthusiastically considered in school lessons, showed that they fully correspond to the signs of love addiction. Nobel laureate B. Russell defined this as "a social model of the pathology of love." 
And the signs of love indicated in E. Fromm's definition are absent.
Secondly, a sociological survey of professionals responsible for the interpretation of passionate drives in school literature showed that they are indifferent to this.
Thirdly, there are separate voices in the teaching community that do not share the opinion of the overwhelming majority of colleagues, supporters of love tragedies, addictions, highly artistically described by outstanding writers, but these voices are completely ignored by the pedagogical elite and officials.
Fourth, if in our time Anna Karenina, Romeo and Juliet, "Poor Lisa", "young Werther", Zheltkov, Petrarch, Dante, Eloise and all other literary and real heroes experiencing painful attraction turned to a local psychotherapist or clinical psychologist, then they could successfully recover from their painful amorous addictions. Moreover, now predisposition to addictive disorders can be detected before they occur and measures can be taken to prevent them.
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PS This article is here from 2010. Being a person who is not indifferent, I decided to find out how educators with a literary profile relate to the promotion of love addiction in school. At first, I wrote to almost all the heads of the departments of literature in pedagogical universities - not the slightest reaction. Then he began to write to the most diverse: federal agencies for education, centers of teaching aids, scientific and methodological centers, centers for the study of problems of upbringing, education departments, academies of various humanities, the Chairman of the Russian society "Knowledge", deputy of the State Duma, professor, doctor of pedagogy .n. Dukhanina L.N., etc. etc. Since 2011, I have already written over a hundred letters - not the slightest reaction.
A letter to the ministry could not have been unanswered, but ... ministerial officials are not born, they become during regular, stupid replies. Any arguments in the eyes of a metropolitan official, but he is still "God's dew". For a ministry official, it is Order No. 1089 (2004) "On Approval of the Federal Component of State Educational Standards ...", and No. 273-FZ (2012) "On Education in the Russian Federation", these documents contain a set of clever and sonorous slogans and requirements. And the ordinary school should do this and how it does it, the official considers himself nothing to do with.
And as a result, we have: our secondary education is indifferent - a bureaucratic machine that does not skimp on clever slogans and hypocrisy, civilized requirements and indifference to their implementation, gives extensive knowledge that is not always useful, sometimes dangerous for psychological health,
History of the culture of love feelings. E. Pushkarev
If to eliminate the confusion of love with pseudo-loves. E. Pushkarev
The concept of "love". E. Pushkarev
How to understand a guy. E. Pushkarev
The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.
Briefly about love. E. Pushkarev
Man and woman: compatibility, love. E. Pushkarev
Man and woman: relationships. E. Pushkarev
Man and woman: leadership in love and marriage. E Pushkarev
Psychology of love. E. Pushkarev
Love test: "love scale" by Z. Rubin.
Psychological health is a prerequisite for love. E. Pushkarev
Love and its place in human life. B. Russell