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Criticism of E. Fromm"s ideas and proposals. E. Pushkarev

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Criticism of E. Fromm's ideas and proposals.

“The American philosopher Erich Fromm also adjoins the existentialist tradition. His book, The Art of Loving, has become widely known, although this serious study is hindered to a certain extent by the element of moralism and edification. " Doctor of Philosophy Professor V.P. Shestakov

The most harsh criticism of the theory of love E. Fromm Doctor of Political Sciences. Alex Batler The Philosophy of Love by Erich Fromm

With all due respect to the humanist charge of Fromm's works, his hymn to love, it should be admitted that his concept of love is fundamentally wrong - a conclusion that is not only confirmed by practice, but also proven in theory.
D. political science Alex Battler "On Love, Family and State." The book is in our library

Fromm is a chatterbox who, in psychological terms invented by himself, explains the previous psychological terms, which also do not mean anything. Experiencing the phenomenon of another person as your own is an idiocy from a biological point of view. Doctor of Biological Sciences Sergey Saveliev

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Club: Fromm's views on the nature of love and its significance in human life constitute an essential part of the "humanistic ethics" that he developed, which, according to his formulation, is the "applied science" of the art of living, based on the theoretical "science of man." Thus, E. Fromm's “art of living” includes the “art of love.” The statement that love is an art, and not an instinct and not a gift from above, expresses the specifics of E. Fromm's views. He is not an academic scientist, therefore, in his works philosophy, humanism turn out to be stronger than processing and taking into account scientific results. Because of which, he describes love not as a scientific, psychophysiological fact, but as a moral, moralizing construction, as it "should be" in his understanding.

“Those are mistaken who think that love comes to us completely independently of us - as an instinct beyond our control or as a lucky chance, as a combination of external circumstances that gave us a loved one. The point, first of all, is whether we ourselves know how to love ”.

E. Fromm compares the ability to love with the ability, for example, to draw: imagine a person who would like to draw wonderfully, but instead of learning this business, he would wait for a happy chance when he meets a "worthy object", imagining that then he immediately begins to draw beautifully. All human abilities, skills must be developed, formed thanks to our efforts and experience; this fully applies to love.

It is written well and understandably, as soon as you read it, the desire immediately arises to take up the development of the “art of love”.

But, when you begin to think more deeply on this topic, a variety of questions and doubts arise:

1. If we consider such a life story. Paul McCartney's marriage to Linda is an example of happiness and harmony, an example of true love itself. But ruthless cancer, Linda's death, Paul's hard, dramatic experiences.

More information - Paula and Linda McCartney.

Years go by, the wound is healed. Paul has a new vivid love for Heather Mills, beautiful courtship. Expensive gifts, for one of them he specially flies to India. Marriage, birth of a beautiful daughter, Beatrice. Paul's relationship with Heather is gradually getting worse and worse, a difficult, lengthy, divorce process. Paul: "I think this marriage of mine was a huge mistake of my whole life ...".

Paul begins his third youth, a series of violent falls in love, one of which with Nancy Shevell develops into true love. In 2011, they got married, love, which means happiness to this day. A remarkable fact is that both Paul's mother and Linda died of breast cancer, but Nancy, who also had this terrible disease, defeated him.

If we consider these stories from Paul's life also from the standpoint of other conclusions of E. Fromm:

“Love mainly does not characterize a relationship with a specific person; it is a position, an orientation of character, which determines a person's relationship to the world as a whole, and not to just one "object" of love. "

He also writes about love as an act of will:

Love should be an act of will, the determination to completely unite your life with the life of another person. 4

It is believed that love should be the result of a spontaneous, emotional outburst, a sudden irresistible feeling. <> This point of view does not want to see such an important factor in erotic love as will. 4

Questions: If Sir Paul McCartney in his first and third marriages perfectly mastered the art of love, a specific orientation of "character that determines a person's relationship to the world as a whole, and not to one, only an" object "of love," there was enough will to find love. Why did all these wonderful qualities disappear in the second marriage with Heather? Or maybe it's the other way around, these wonderful qualities are manifested depending on who the person is trying to find love with, and not on their initial presence?

But then the whole theory of the art of love by Z. Fromm gets a serious hole or even collapses.

2. Another story from life. Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy and Sofya Andreevna Bers - a stormy, exciting love, a sublime declaration of love, streams of tears of emotion and her, and in the future this will happen to him many times.

“In the family of Lev Nikolaevich Tolstoy, the crisis of marital relations was a constant state for several decades. Both characters in the drama - Lev Nikolaevich and Sofya Andreevna - tried in all conscience, each in his own way, to keep the family together. And they even seem to have succeeded, but how did it come about? Because all this heavy permanent crisis history became, in the end, History - the biography of a great genius. It turned out tragically to save this family - it would be more correct to say so clumsily. Both defeat and rupture all the same - right before the curtain - the rupture became the curtain ... "
Psychotherapist V.Levi

The result after 48 years of marriage. Lev Nikolaevich dies at the dilapidated Astapovo railway station. He asked that his wife not be allowed into the room. He was already so disgusted with finding out the relationship and making the next 1001st attempt to improve them that he did not want to overshadow his departure from life with her presence. He left his native estate because of this. Lev Nikolayevich's request was fulfilled and Sofya Andreevna was allowed in when the death cramps began.

Question: Well, if the genius Lev Nikolaevich, the extraordinary woman Sofya Andreevna could not only master the “art of love”, but even the elementary skills to get along like a spouse, how can we, mere mortals, master this complexity of the “art of love”?

3. Love should be an act of will, the determination to fully connect your life with the life of another person. 4

“... To love means to take on obligations without demanding guarantees, to surrender to the hope that your love will engender love in a loved one. Love is an act of faith, and whoever believes weakly loves weakly. … The ability to love requires energy, a state of wakefulness, high vitality, which can only arise as a result of a fruitful and active orientation of the individual in many other areas of life. If a person is not a fruitful person in other areas, he will not be fruitful in love. "
E. Fromm

And this is not so, it only confirms that the given example of the spiritual relationship between Lev Nikolaevich and Sofia Andreevna. More examples:

Guy de Maupassant's story "The Weaver of Chairs". About how, as a girl, when she saw the crying boy Shuke, she fell in love. After which she collected, saved up money, gave it to the pharmacist's son, for which he allowed himself to be kissed. When Suke got married, she attempted suicide but was rescued. She kept this feeling at a high level all her life, she confessed that for me there was only one man - Shuke. Before her death, she bequeathed him 2,300 francs, all that she had earned in her life.

The fact that this is not such a rare occurrence is said by a psychotherapist, sexologist, Ph. n. Professor Alexander Poleev:
“There is such a concept of“ overselective love ”or overselectivity, this is when for a long time a woman experiences a strong love feeling for a man who does not reciprocate, does not react to this feeling. This kind of love is called overselective or overselective. 20% of Muscovites never get married, and half of them do not get married precisely because of this overselectiveness.

Unrequited Love is a common type of love addiction. The sweetheart (lover) may or may not be aware of the deep and strong romantic affection of the admirer (fan). The inability of the unrequited "lover" to express and fulfill their emotional needs often leads to low self-esteem, anxiety, or mood swings between depression and euphoria.
Berne E. "Sex in Human Loving"

4. “Love is not necessarily a relationship to a specific person; it is an attitude, an orientation of character, which sets a person's attitude to the world in general, and not just to one "object" of love. If a person loves only one person and is indifferent to the rest of his neighbors, his love is not love, but a symbiotic union. Most people believe that love depends on an object, not on one's own ability to love.
They are even convinced that since they do not love anyone but their "beloved" person, this proves the power of their love.
But if I really love some person, I love all people, I love the world, I love life. If I can say to someone “I love you”, I should be able to say “I love everything in you”, “I love the whole world thanks to you, I love myself in you”. 4

If we take a biased look at this difficult conclusion from Fromm's, then the term is more suitable to characterize it, not “love”, but “philanthropy,” and this is far from the same thing.
So in the ancient Greek language this feeling was designated by the term - agape (caritas, lat.) - philanthropy; selfless love-self-giving; altruistic, spiritual love, It is also generosity - a form of humanity, characterized by the presence of kindness. It is humanity, the ability to sacrifice for the sake of the interests of others.
Generosity is an innate gift to educate him, almost impossible.
Therefore, agape is not an individual interpersonal love that is acquired as a result of communication, interaction between a man and a woman. It's like perfect pitch some have, most don't. According to the Canadian sociologist D.A. About 7% of people have a similar gift of agape - philanthropy.
People endowed with a great gift of agape do not necessarily easily acquire inter-sex individual love. Mother Teresa (in the world of Gonja) from the age of 12 began to dream of monastic service in order to go to India to take care of the poor there. She made the effort of her whole life to realize her dream and she succeeded.
But in the intergender, personal sphere, Mother Teresa has not just emptiness, but rather indifference to the opposite sex. It can be assumed that her libido energy was sublimated in agape, thereby further enhancing it.
In the ancient Greek language there is a term - philia, love-affection, love-friendship, which presupposes free individual choice.

Friendship + love = philia. E. Pushkarev

Agape and filia are completely different psychological phenomena and the ancient Greek language helps us understand this.

Meanwhile, there is no doubt that love is essentially a non-social and extra-social phenomenon and has nothing to do with society and family, this is a completely personal phenomenon, associated exclusively with the personality.
N.A. Berdyaev, "On the appointment of a person"

Love is personal, individual, aimed at a single, unique, irreplaceable person.
< >
Love always refers to the individual, not to the general.
N.A. Berdyaev. "Metaphysics of Sex and Love"

5. According to expert estimates, less than 5% of married couples live in love. After all, it is possible for spouses who have lived in a happy, harmonious marriage for fifty - sixty or more years to "find out" how they mastered the "art of love" and then replicate this knowledge for the benefit of the young. Repeated attempts were made and all of them were unsuccessful, even when professional psychologists were engaged in the research. Such questions in deeply elderly and happy spouses caused not only bewilderment about the "art of love", but even the term "love" they rarely used and carefully or did not use at all.

For example, in the study "The Psychological Problems of Marriage," a member of the American Psychological Association D.S. Wallerstein, which was conducted only among happy married couples, neither the happy spouses studied, nor the researcher, in his large, comprehensive report, never once used the term "love", let alone "art." They live for many decades in happy marriages, but they don't use the concept of love, but why? But because our culture has turned an exclusively positive phenomenon "love" into a dangerous chimera.

This is a malicious word "love". E. Pushkarev

A person who lives happily in love does not perceive it as a phenomenon.

For me, a wife is like the sun, air, water, bread, a natural and necessary phenomenon. Have you ever thought whether the sun will rise tomorrow or not? I never think about love, just like a well-fed person never thinks about food. Film Rock musician Garik Sukachev. More details: Garik and Olga Sukachev

All the same, the very formulation of the question “the art of love”, in the form that it expresses, and therefore offers a solution in the work of the same name by E. Fromm, is a priori, overestimating expectations and insufficiently elaborated.

And still: Film Love is the union of the soul with the soul of one's own.
F.I. Tyutchev

To designate the highest form of sexual love, the philosopher V.S. Soloviev uses the concept of "syzygy", which in translation from Greek means "combination" to denote such a conjugation between a man and a woman, which is the basis of an ideal marriage union. Because it is only in him that "the healing of the flaws of human nature and their reimbursement" occurs, which exists among the Platonic androgynes.
Therefore, the main thing in intersexual individual love is still syzygy - the compatibility of kindred souls.

So the “art of loving” begins with the knowledge which soul can become dear to you, as happened in the marriage of Paul and Linda McCartney, and which one will never become dear under any efforts, as it happened in the marriage of Lev Nikolaevich and Sophia Andreevna and married to Paul and Heather Mills. Then purposefully look for this potential soul mate and only then build relationships.

Fortunately, the researchers have done a good job in this direction and give specific recommendations:

First - Classifications of love relationships. E. Pushkarev

Then - From disharmony in choosing a marriage partner to harmony. E. Pushkarev

6. As the goal of love, E. Fromm singles out essentially one reason:
"... this is a way of overcoming the separation of people from each other. Disunited existence is unbearable for a person, it introduces and keeps him in a state of anxiety."
“Awareness of human separateness without reunification in love is a source of shame and at the same time it is a source of guilt and anxiety. Thus, the deepest human need is the desire to leave the prison of his loneliness. "
Knowing modern statistics: more than 80% of people marry "for love", and then:

"Now (1999), half of young families break up in the first year of life, two thirds - in the first five years, in 70% of families that have not yet broken up, the spouses are in tense relations ..." d.philos. n. V.M. Rozin

Considering that only since the middle of the 19th century, the choice of a marriage partner has been made independently by a person, guided by his feelings, earlier this was done by older relatives. It turns out that the overwhelming majority of people have lived, are living, and will live outside of sexual individual love.
The question arises: if a person lives in a tense marriage relationship, does this mean that he left the "prison of loneliness", because the goal - "love", he did not achieve?

Fromm has a saying: "The desire for power, the desire to avoid loneliness ..." Love, power are completely different goals, but fromm is all for getting rid of loneliness.
Maybe “overcoming separation”, “prison of one's loneliness” is just an unresolved intrapersonal problem of E. Fromm himself? It was not for nothing that his first wife was the famous psychoanalyst Karen Horney, who was six years older than him.

Neurotic need for love. Karen Horney.
After a divorce from her, he married a second time and, it seems, more successfully.
Then the reason for love should be sought in something else? After all, if we find the true reason for love, then more people will be able to find it.

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

7. E. Fromm is not original in the title "The Art of Love" two thousand years before him, Ovid wrote "The Art of Love" , which is still in demand today, including on the Internet. In the XII century. the idea of courtly love was widespread and at that time was called "ars amandi" - the art of love. There were many textbooks, mentors in mastering this art. In each era, books with a similar title were published, so during the Renaissance , F. Sansonovino's "A Teaching to Young People in the Beautiful Art of Love" was published . There are books with a similar title in our time: M. Wisłocka "The Art of Love, 20 Years Later".

In our library books and videos on the topic "Love, family, sex and about ..." There are books:
Viktor Vostokov "The Art of Love"
Dilya Enikeeva "Man and Woman: The Art of Love"
and others.

That is, for each era, love is its own kind of art, different from each other.
What is good?
What's bad?
It all depends on
What is the era.
Well, how can a simple man in the street, especially a young man, understand these love arts? Which of these arts will open the way to true love? In addition, the small number of lucky people who have a marriage in love do not know about any art. Or maybe ...
One of the chapters of the book "The Art of Love" is called "Love - The Answer to the Problem of Human Existence" and although it begins:

Any theory of love must start with a theory of man, of human existence. Although we find love, or rather the equivalent of love, already in animals, their attachments are mainly part of their instinctive nature; in man, only the remnants of these instincts act.
Ethologists are engaged in research of instincts. From their works, we learned that the "first love" survived not a man or even animals, but at least gray geese. Their research was carried out by the Nobel Prize laureate Konrad Lorenz in his book "YEAR OF THE GRAY DOSE" he wrote that "love and sex" exist separately in the goose's life. They recognize their partners by their appearance and voice and have an exceptional memory for the image of the “beloved”. Even after a long separation, they prefer the old love, they spend a lot of time together, even outside the breeding season. They have rituals of romantic relationships - premarital courtship and the fact of marriage and its announcement to the whole goose community with a triumphal cry.

Or maybe the art of love consists in knowing the laws of these remnants and not contriving too much? It is a pity that there is no static data on the number of goose pairs living in love, otherwise it would be possible to compare who has more.

History of the culture of love feelings. E. Pushkarev

So it turns out that in terms of sexual, individual love, a person has nothing to boast of in front of gray geese and other brothers. After all, the goose community and its mores do not have such a destructive effect on the manifestations of individual love as a consumer society. But to overload an exclusively positive feeling with meaning, unearthly joy - only a person can love this.
If we sum up the half-century knowledge of the book "The Art of Love" by E. Fromm, and at the same time the two-thousand-year "Art of Love" by Ovid, he is not funny.

"And meanwhile, against the background of the constant increase in the number of divorces, the persistent vulgarization of love in literature and the visual arts and the undeniable fact that for many people sex has become as meaningless as it is accessible, this very" love "began to seem incredibly rare, if not a complete illusion Some representatives of the "new left" came to the conclusion that love has been destroyed by the very nature of our bourgeois society, and the reforms they are proposing are aimed at building a "world in which there will be more opportunities for love."
Indeed, love has become such an internally contradictory phenomenon that some researchers of family life have come to the conclusion that "love" is simply a name for the way stronger family members subdue the weaker ones. Ronald Laing simply argues that love is a cover for violence. " Rollo May from the book "LOVE AND WILL"

Francesco Alberoni, a famous Italian sociologist and psychologist, who has numerous publications on moral issues of human relations in his monograph Love, is rather skeptical of E. Fromm's theory, of his recipe for happiness - the art of love, seeing in it an illusion, a beautiful fiction ...

8. "Erotic love makes a preference, but in another person it loves all of humanity, everything that is alive." 4

A considerable part of his ideas, including those already cited by E. Fromm, expresses in the form of moral and ethical slogans, this, of course, to a certain extent helps in the cultural development of society, but completely negates their scientific value and the possibility of using them in individual life.

Just imagine, a client comes to a psychologist with specific love problems:

“... I'm desperately asking for advice on what to do! I've never been so confused! Something strange is happening with my young man, he can talk, but rarely that he loves (he has already confessed his love twice), he can joke to come to me, and then take it and completely ignore it, not pick up the phone, talk, I’ll call you back, I can’t find the strength in myself. He does not like to discuss serious topics. He generally gets angry when I try to talk to him seriously or translate everything into jokes. Vika"

And he explains to her: in order to improve this love, you and him need to try hard and love all of humanity ??? The saddest thing about this advice is that there are a lot of psychologists who give them.

Give advice as a "practice of the art of love" for its acquisition: rid yourself of narcissism, develop humility, objectivity and intelligence. In achievability, this is like giving advice: to become the world champion in figure skating. E. Fromm gives advice to a humanist idealist and maximalist. What is the use of advice that cannot be followed in several lifetimes? All religions have been working for thousands of years to acquire humility and reason, and so far it has not been very good at it.
Still, a philosopher, humanist, preacher must somehow help a practicing psychologist, slogans are not suitable for this.

9. Care and responsibility are integral elements of love, but without respect and knowledge of a loved one, love degenerates into domination and possessiveness. Respect is not fear or awe; it designates in accordance with the root of this word / respicere - zn. peer /, the ability to see a person as he is, to understand his individuality and uniqueness. You cannot respect a person without knowing him; care and responsibility would be blind if they were not guided by the knowledge of the individual's individuality. 2

Fruitful love, a form of deepest kinship between two people while maintaining the integrity of each of them, is a phenomenon of excess, and the ability to such love is a testament to human maturity. Joy and happiness are the companions of fruitful love. 2

Club: Once again and in more detail about the relationship of souls as the primary factor of love.

To say about the knowledge of man, care, the deepest kinship, as the content of fruitful love, is only part of the truth. And what is primary in this, and what is secondary: love, knowledge, or care and kinship?
If a positive man and woman have a certain attraction to each other, can they, based only on this, showing the responsibility to take care of the other, striving for kinship, diligently spend on this vitality to find love? With this sequence of events: first we love each other and we will have a relationship, the goal is poorly attainable. Because the kinship of souls, or rather psychotypes, is primary, it is the compatibility of psychotypes that predetermines either an extremely favorable development of relations - kinship of souls and the possibility of love, or something else, including extremely unfavorable and permanent enmity. Those. knowledge is primary - the basis of the psychotype, which determines the quality of interpersonal relationships. What was revealed by the founder of socionics A. Augustinavichiute and described in the work The dual nature of man.

Love is possible only if two people are connected with each other by the centers of existence, which means that each of them perceives himself from the depths of his existence. Only in this "central experience" is human reality: 4

Club: And again allegory, and virtual reality - "centers of existence". For example, a man and a woman, professional mathematicians, can she become the center of existence? Unlikely. And if two people meet each other's eyes on the street and there is a click - a short circuit. Maybe this is a sign of the center of existence and kinship of souls? This is falling in love , which will pass quickly enough.

The deepest kinship, joy, protection, connection with the centers of existence and many more pleasant things are given by duality, a sufficiently studied and attainable phenomenon, in more detail:
Duality is a vital necessity.
Ode to dual contact.

Love arises, develops and is a good until the end of the century as a result of the best psychotypical compatibility - the source of soul kinship, as the primary factor of love.

From disharmony in choosing a marriage partner to harmony.

What is love. E. Pushkarev

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

"Love is an art, just like the art of living." 4

Club: Art is the ability to live, which means building relationships. Love and the ability to build relationships with those you love, as well as with other people, are different types of mental activity, skills and abilities. Due to the inability to build relationships, you can destroy love, this happens to people who have a low level of psychological health , and with its high level can build a very decent relationship with anyone.
Love is an activity, not a passive affect, it is a help, not a hobby. In its most general form, the active character of love can be described by means of the statement that love means, first of all, to give, not to take. 4
Giving is the ultimate manifestation of power. 4

Club: It all sounds great, I want to believe in it, but

Love is the most intimate, most individual feeling. It's like a flower that can only be given to one person at a time. When you love, you need to give all of yourself and feel that you are accepted - and in love, accepting everything can be even more difficult than giving everything. Film Richard Aldington.

what is "giving - acceptance" is it a humanistic act, the result of mental, volitional training, art, or is it a gift from God?

Socionics gives the answer again. For duals, giving, like receiving, is not a manifestation of power, all the more the highest, for them giving is not a volitional action, but a natural manifestation of their own self. All that the duals do is either an involuntary giving, or a grateful and glad acceptance of it.
Therefore, after mastering the theory of love from the books of E. Fromm, the first steps in the practice of love can be knowledge:
- their own psychotype , the level of narcissism, more precisely level of psychological health, neuroticism, etc.
- it's about a potential partner
Knowing this with a high degree of probability, "Table of relations between sociotypes" can predict the qualitative development of interpersonal relationships in a couple.

Knowledge is also needed in order to be able to distinguish between phenomena that have nothing in common: love , love and plural forms of pseudo-love.
And already having this knowledge, consciously engage in practice: get acquainted, show care, responsibility and respect.

10. Club: A person who has embarked on the path of theoretical and practical development of the art of love should take into account:

"The principle underlying capitalist society and the principle of love are incompatible." 4

Club: What was confirmed decades later:
“It turns out that America is the only country in the world where love is a national issue. It seems like a huge number of Americans of both sexes are in a state of confusion about love,” says Raul de Roussy de Seims.

And yet E. Fromm goes a little too far. And what, the slave or feudal system contributed to the development of individual love? Any system leaves its mark on the development of social and individual relations in society. Agreeing that the modern ideology of the capitalist consumer society has a destructive effect on the harmonious development of the individual, forcibly imposing many excesses. This pressure can be consciously resisted by protecting oneself, the beloved, especially children from this aggressive influence of unbridled consumption. Fruitful love is possible in any society with intelligence, knowledge and purposeful activity.

And after the couple has found love, you can develop humility, objectivity and reason for the rest of your life, thereby increasing the quality of love, family relationships and life.

11. Despite the fact that Fromm's works had a significant impact on the development of the psychology of love, some moments in them are modern psychologists were criticized. The structure of love allegedly proposed by him : care, responsibility, respect and knowledge is overly rational and even ascetic, for the lack of pleasure and joy in it. (Ph.D. L. Gozman)

Love is a fruitful form of relationship to others and to oneself. It implies care, responsibility, respect and knowledge, as well as the desire for the other person to grow and develop. 2

The knowledge factor raises additional doubts among his critics. The fact is that in most descriptions of love, one of its signs is the tendency to idealize the partner, to overestimate the positive qualities inherent in him and to partially ignore the negative ones, i.e. the knowledge factor is untilled. (Ph.D. L. Gozman)
Club: If we criticized E. Fromm above, then here we will speak on his side and criticize his critics. The fact is that it is precisely in love that the manifestation of care, responsibility, respect and knowledge is a manifestation of one's own self. When a person lives, acts, emotionally in accordance with his understanding of the world and these positive qualities are manifested. And those qualities that annoy others around are assessed as selfishness, arrogance and other negativity for a beloved partner remain invisible, even funny. And all this happens mutually. Right here, each of the couple gets double joy, pleasure and interest, and through their feelings - well, how else, if you are surrounded by care, responsibility, respect. And from the fact that, you yourself see how you gave your beloved the same pleasures and comfort, and all this happens by itself.

And if we take most of the modern, both literary and everyday descriptions of love, then it is in them that the main confusion of our culture of love with falling in love is expressed. Details

Various feelings of love and being in love.

A. Fromm has repeatedly highlighted: "Falling in love is one of the forms of pseudo-love."
Modern researchers of love (psychiatrist M. Skop Peck, psychologist Dorothy Tennov "Partial Love") not only confirmed this, but also came to the conclusion that falling in love has nothing to do with love. These are phenomena that are different in nature. And just, knowledge is necessary for a person before falling in love, so as not to confuse anything, being in a state of altered selective criticality. If in love there is an idealization of a partner, then in love it is not, this can be considered one of the important signs of love.

Love exists when your strong affection for another person is balanced by reason and deep respect. Judgments about a person are completely objective and rational.
University of Wisconsin Professor R. Short "Sex, Love, or Falling in Love"

functional magnetic resonance imaging scanner active areas of the brain of loving people Club: And yet E. Fromm made the greatest contribution to solving the mystery of love, set a vector, a progressive direction of the semantics of love, gave important concepts, definitions of love and pseudo-love. But its final disclosure took place after scientists undertook research using the latest biochemical methods and equipment: nuclear magnetic resonance, magnetic encephalographic scanning, functional magnetic resonance imaging.

About Professor Helen Fisher and true love. E. Pushkarev

Tomography of love.

E. Pushkarev Chairman of the Internet - Club "ENLIGHTENED LOVE"

Fragments about individual love from the books of Erich Fromm.

A detailed analysis and explanation of E. Fromm's theory of love is done by Ph.D., Ph.D., Ph.D., Academician P. Gurevich In love, a person wants to become a god (about Erich Fromm).

This page is from the section ”The Psychology of Love”.

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Compatible love, it's true love.

Factors of marital compatibility.

Friendship + Love = Filia.

Culture of longevity of love. A culture of separation grief.

From disharmony in choosing a marriage partner to harmony.

Guide to the site and the main milestones in the knowledge of love. E. Pushkarev

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

What is love. E. Pushkarev

Briefly about love. E. Pushkarev

Falling in love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: compatibility, love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: relationships. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: leadership in love and marriage. E Pushkarev

Psychology of love. E. Pushkarev

Love test: "love scale" by Z. Rubin.

Types of sexual constitution.

Manifestation of love in the intimate life of spouses. E. Whit, G. Patkins

Sigmund Freud about love.

Erich Fromm “The Art of Love. Study of the nature of love "
Erich Fromm "Man and Woman"
and others
is in our library: "Love, family, sex and about ..." (almost 2000 books and video)

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Заранее благодарны.

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Экология и драматургия любви

Наш сайт о природе любви мужчины и женщины: истоки, течение, около любовные переживания и расстройства.

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По моей книге уже с 2010 года обучают студентов по Программе дисциплины – «Психология любви»

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Из книги вы узнаете: любовь между мужчиной и женщиной исключительно положительное чувство. А очень похожая влюбленность с любовью никак не связана. А недоброкачественная влюбленность - мания, она же "наркоманическая любовь", "сверхизбирательная любовь" "folle amore" (безумная любовь (ит.) не только никакого отношения к любви не имеет, а и совсем болезненное расстройство.

А научиться их различать не так уж и сложно.

У человека нет врожденного дара, отличать любовь от влюбленностей, других

псевдолюбовных состояний это можно сделать только овладев знаниями.

Жизнь удалась

Примеры настоящей любви

Пара влюбленных

Драматичные влюбленности известных людей, которые не сделали их счастливыми