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Culture is the ecology of human society. This is the atmosphere that humanity creates around itself in order to continue to exist in order to survive.
Yu.M. Lotman

At the turn of the millennium, mankind has lost the landmarks of its development, which naturally leads to attempts to reflect on the purpose and meaning of a person, to reveal the worldview foundations of the existence of individuals.
S. Omarbekova, Ph.D. n.

movie is not love In this section, we will consider the modern ecology of the culture of love, its low suitability for the harmonious life of a common man in the street, especially a young one. The concept of ecology quickly began to enter all spheres of social life. Its volume and content are filled with new meanings and parameters. We have already begun to talk about ecology not only in relation to nature (flora and fauna), but also use the concepts of “ecology of conscience”, “ecology of morality”, “ecology of consciousness”, “ecology of the culture of love”, etc. All these concepts are necessary to comprehend such categories as "person - quality of life - survival". These categories determine the degree of environmental friendliness of our culture.

But first, let's define the very concept of the ecology of the culture of love - a cultural environment formed by modern ideas, norms, attitudes of society about this phenomenon of "love". Starting a conversation about the ecology of love, unfortunately, everything boils down to its anti-ecological character. Without pretending to fully cover the topic, we will only touch on two aspects.

1. Confusion of concepts

About the fact that a number of attractions from the amorous - romantic list: natural and substandard falling in love, various pseudo-love states have nothing to do with love, we have considered in part I." Let's figure it out ":

What is love. ;

Falling in love ;

Poor quality falling in love ;

Various feelings of love and being in love ;

How to distinguish love from falling in love and other pseudo-lovers ;

If you eliminate the confusion of love with pseudo-loves ;

But the saddest thing is that modern culture love addictions continues to glorify as the highest standard of love in school. And the general result of this confusion is summarized below in the chapters:

Consumer society and its antilove essence ;

Psychiatric mess with love at school ;

Psychological features of love addiction and ways to overcome it. A. Fedosova

Love vs pseudo-love, or about love addiction. S. Clemin

About Professor Helen Fisher and true love

"Romantic love": aspects, analysis and consequences ".

2. Love was overloaded with meaning, drama, sentimentalism, unearthly joy and other poetic and philosophical freedom (in the words of Freud). Their ideal representations initiate lovers, the very love for more and more sophisticated extra-natural forms of love, sublimated sonnets of Petrarch, letters, Werther, Zheltkov, etc., which are not viable cultural neoplasms.
Late 19th century philosopher M.O. Menshikov in his work "Literature played a huge role in the love cult" already records the love cult in literature and writes: “ ... a love story corrupts the sexual feeling ”;
By the middle of the twentieth century:

"Jean-Paul Sartre viewed love as a fragile, extremely fragile and deceiving feeling, fraught with soul-debilitating conflicts.
Merging with the “other” leads to the loss of oneself in it, and this is a very expensive price for existence for ephemeral happiness. In addition, competition, self-interest and envy are against him from all sides. The “other” bursts into love, and he acts as a “stranger”, in the role of a tormentor. Love disappoints, slips away, the ambivalence of love and hate is revealed".
G. Ya. Streltsova "Jean-Paul Sartre about love"

Traditionalist philosopher Y. Evola writes about "The tyranny of love and sex ...";

Psychologist and psychotherapist M.I. Zavalov: "However, today a person lives under the yoke of a new romantic tyranny ...";

Love is already devoid of independence, it arises not from the natural relationships of people, from their natural self, but from an orientation towards patterns overheated by drama imposed by culture. They are generated by mass culture, penetrate the consumer and the viewer, capturing his consciousness, controlling motivation and directing experiences. Since this amorous pressure has been going on for centuries and is transmitted to the next generations also at the genetic level.

By the end of the twentieth century, Doctor of Psychology R. A. Johnson writes that "romantic love" is already being turned into religion ..";

We: the deepest aspects of romantic love. Robert A. Johnson

And then:

“In this sense, Beck speaks of love as a religion. More precisely, as about "religion after religion", about "fundamentalism after overcoming it", about "the place of worship of the personal development of a society running in a circle." We love, honor and choose love. Our spiritual and bodily yearning is directed towards this most important of all conditions. Exciting metaphors of hits and advertisements inflame our imagination, kindle the thirst to be released in an embrace with another person and merge with him in bed". Philosopher and writer Richard Precht "The Religion of Love" .

Ulrich Beck and his wife Elisabeth in their work Absolutely Normal Chaos of Love (1990) characterize the situation with love not just as chaos, but as the reality in which we live, as a normal situation.

At the beginning of the 21st century, psychologist-psychoanalyst, vice-rector of VEIP V. A. Medvedev: "All human culture is built on provoking a love experience, on singing love as the highest goal and meaning of human existence, on the formation of a persistent unconscious feeling of guilt for being immune to this type of mental disorder. ... The paradox of this situation is covered with such a dense veil of cultural myths that only by means of depth psychology one can try to somehow clarify the motivation of the centuries-old infection of the love fever virus to mankind and the joyful compliance of a person to this painful state.

It should be noted here that the procedures for infecting mass love in their effectiveness can be correlated with weapons of mass destruction, since a person is simply not able to resist them".

Paradoxes of love. V. Medvedev

There were expressions characterizing the situation with love culture: demystification , demonization, angelization of love, “humanity is raving with love” , "Totalitarianism of love", "is love an idol or an icon?" etc.

Hugo wrote: “Illusion is the main basis for dreams; take away the illusion from love, and you take away its food". Our culture, and now the commerce that has joined it, will not allow anyone to take away these illusions.

Both love and desire appear in culture in the form of myths. For example, modern popular culture undoubtedly has a very influential love myth. In this myth, love does not exist without sensual passion; the images of love created in contemporary art are, in fact, images of illness, disease.
Doctor of Philosophy, Professor A.P. Maltseva

P. Calderona de la Barca: "If love is not madness, then it is not love."

P. Beaumarchais: “In love, not even“ too much ”is enough.

M. Navarre "The most difficult torments are the torments of love."

G. Beecher "Love is measured by suffering."

J. Bataille: "To love is to die"

If at the time of Freud, women's neuroses were mainly associated with unrealized sexual desires, then nowadays neuroses have another massive reason: not being involved in amorous myths imposed by culture.

Our culture has turned people into Homo amorabundus - a person who is languishing in love.

... the heart of a psychiatrist is almost daily constricted from pain at the sight of excruciating delusions and suffering generated by this myth. Millions of people spend a lot of energy desperately and hopelessly trying to reconcile the reality of their lives with the unreality of myth.
Psychiatrist, military psychologist Morgan Scott Peck "The myth of romantic love"

I have heard from many of my patients: “I am suffering terribly, doctor! I really need some man to fall in love with me. It doesn't even matter to me what he is and what he is, the main thing is that he just take it and fall in love with me".
Psychotherapist A. Kurpatov "Five great secrets of a man and a woman." The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

It should be clarified that in all cases we are not talking about love, but about some cultural or uncultured norms, amorous standards. And true love turns out to be a forgotten Cinderella for many centuries.

In traditional culture, love is not singled out as a special problem, it simply exists along with other phenomena of human existence. Traditional culture is characterized by the belief that after marriage, love automatically arises between two people who start a family. Sayings like “fall in love, endure”, the tradition of choosing a groom, images of a wedding - all this speaks of the subordination of love to marriage and their close connection. In modern culture, the relationship of love to marriage is turning upside down, now love is accepted as the romantic basis of marriage, and marriage itself often becomes a prison for love. Love degenerates into sexuality and loses the power of a person's spiritual transformation. As a result, there is a loss of the integrity of human being.
D.philos.n O.I. Nikolina "The Phenomenon of Love in Human Being"

History of the culture of love feelings. E. Pushkarev

Erich Fromm, the most famous researcher of the psychology of love in the twentieth century:

"A superficial and light-hearted attitude to love is demonstrated by a huge number of" consumer films "about happy and unhappy love, as well as" low-quality songs "about love, from which the mass consumer draws uncomplicated information. few people have an idea of “true love”, not knowing how to distinguish it from “fake love.” Nowadays in the West, it is considered “fashionable” love at the source - a sudden surging feeling, emotional spontaneity, unbridled passion, most often excluding responsibility, human seriousness, spiritually -moral kinship and mutual understanding between partners. Despite the fact that everyone is burning with a "passionate desire for love", practically in the consumer society "almost everything is considered more important than love: success, prestige, money, power; all energy is spent on achieving these goals, and almost nothing is done in order to learn the art of love. ”This was written half a century ago, now the“ love situation ”is even more distorted.

True love, it is also compatible love. E. Pushkarev.

There is no more popular topic on television, in cinema on stage, than love. Soap operas are filled with "romantic love". We are constantly haunted and pumped up with the idea that love is the only thing that matters. In his article in Family Life magazine, Paul Popeno describes what most people think of romantic love: “Love is an incomprehensible obsession that comes from nowhere and immediately takes over you completely like measles. You recognize it intuitively. If this is a real feeling, you will not have to guess long. You will see her, no doubt. Love is so important that you have to give up everything for her. A man is forgivable to leave his wife for love, a woman is forgiven to leave his house and children, the king is a throne. She comes out of the blue, and there is nothing you can do. It is beyond human control".
The continuous propaganda of the love theme by “consumer films” and “low-quality songs” that haunts a person from birth does not pass without leaving a trace, a variety of illusions about something loving are formed in the psyche, who is capable of what and who is cooler. Hugo wrote: “Illusion is the main basis for dreams; take away the illusion from love, and you take away its food". Our culture, which is far from perfect, is not going to take away any illusions from anyone, but rather the opposite, and as a result, the amorous vinaigrette, according to some, has been turned into a religion, according to others, into tyranny.

In a survey conducted by a student magazine, more than half of the students wished for richness of feelings, drama, and passionate love.

The other side of drama and passionate love.
In an experiment conducted under the guidance of Professor of the University of Acadia, Dr. Lachlan McWilliams, took part 5645 representatives of the fairer sex aged 18 to 60 years. It turned out that Miss and Mrs, who felt uncertain about the future of their relationship with a partner or felt discomfort while spending time together, were significantly more susceptible to various kinds of chronic diseases, such as, for example, arthritis, headaches, seasonal allergies.
According to Dr. McWilliams, those women in whose life there is so-called restless attachment are more likely to suffer from these disorders, as well as asthma, high blood pressure, chronic lung diseases, high blood sugar or diabetes, stomach ulcers , disorders of the functioning of the cardiovascular system, epilepsy, seizures and cancer.

Of our song hits.
I love you to tears,
I love you crazy ...
Alexander Serov sings heartfeltly
In the United States, 25% of suicides are committed by a spouse, lover, or rival in the fight for the favor of the same person. We do not have such statistics, but there are clearly no less victims.

Olympic champion Yulia Chepalova: "I liked to joke, tease the guys who courted me, and all this was until one guy committed suicide. After that I began to be more careful about the guys and my jokes."

Song of the group "Roots" "You will recognize her"
You will recognize her from a thousand
By words, by eyes, by voice
Her image is carved into the heart
Aromas of gladioli
The absurdity of such a metaphor lies in the fact that gladioli do not have aromas, i.e. the authors are absolutely not interested in either the content or the metaphorical meaning of their works.
The "phantom of love" is brought to the point of absurdity.
Group "Factory", "About Love":
I will fold my palms like this
To shout louder
That's why I live
To tell you words,
About love, about you,
It turns out that she said words of love and after that life can be considered lived?

Maybe that's why we have so many divorces?
Divorces per 1000 marriages 2000
1426 - Magadan region.
827 - Saint-Petersburg
673 - Moscow
35 - Ingushetia

According to the 2012 UN Demographic Yearbook, Russia is the first country with the highest number of divorces. Further Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova. On the 6th - the USA.

Official culture is not very different from youth pop culture either. On the state channel "Culture" they called one of their programs "More than love", but if something is more than the norm, it is already abnormal. More than a meter is not a meter, but how to use it? If a person has "more than a heart" instead of a heart, is that good? This "bull heart" happens in beer alcoholics. If there are more than eyes instead of eyes, most likely it is already Graves' disease.
Here, in the author's program of Viktor Erofeev "Apocrypha", which was called "Fear of Love", there were many definitions on a given topic.

“There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear, because there is anguish in fear. The one who fears is imperfect in love". 1 John 4:18

But, a psychologically healthy person is not afraid of love, he strives for it, he achieves it and receives it. The neurotic is afraid of love.

Therefore, as soon as a person feels the fear of love, it is better to turn to a professional for help. this is either a sign of development, or already a symptom of neuroticism. This disorder is reversible, the sooner you take up its elimination, the sooner you get free. But why on the state body channel impose a neurotic attitude towards an exclusively positive feeling? The fear of love is like the fear of kindness, the fear of health, etc.

In our library "Love, family, sex and about ..." there are books:
John Townsend “Don't hide from love. How to get rid of the fear of emotional closeness that holds you captive, isolating you from communication "
John Powell "Why I'm Afraid to Love."

Due to the wide spread among modern people of all kinds of neuroses, their love is neurotic in nature, often accompanied by the desire of partners not so much to give as to take, which, in general, cannot be called love.
Corresponding member of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, MD, psychotherapist M.Ye. Litvak

In the same program V. Erofeev asks a twenty-year-old beautiful poetess: "What will you do when, having been married for 15 years, you have 5 children. And you fell passionately in love?" The poetess does not hesitate: "I will leave my husband." And she does not yet have applicants for the fathers of her five children. She still does not know what it is to bear and give birth to a child, does not know what to do, when a child has conjunctivitis, she does not know what it is like to go to the circus with 5 children. But she already has a ready-made solution to her actions in the event of a certain love feeling. V. Erofeev with an approving smile: "Well, you see what kind of love she is."

And this despite the fact that V. Erofeev was already a victim of amorous ambivalence and described his situation in detail How to be unloved, or Factory of love . This is a situation when a person burns himself with milk, but does not want to blow on the water.

It makes no sense to criticize television as it represents love, this is commerce, anything for the rating, and what "Kultura" does is very mildly - aesthetic promiscuity.

There was such a concept of "Russian love", this is when for a long time a woman experiences a strong love feeling for a man who does not reciprocate, does not respond to this feeling. Such love is called overselective or overselective, it is neurotic love or neurotic disorder. 20% of Muscovites (15% across the country) never get married, and half of them do not marry precisely because of “Russian love”.

Poor love is a mania. E. Pushkarev.

Children born out of wedlock in 2001
21.1% - Russia
25.8% - Bulgaria
26.8% - Austria
33.6% - UK
34.9% - France
52.9% Sweden

Without good fathers, there is no good upbringing, despite all the schools.
N. Karamzin.

This psychological bias also has a downside. Singer Natalia Nurmukhametova was married 9 times. And every time she thought that this is true love and marriage will last until the end of her life. A charming talented woman sincerely tells the story of her unsuccessful marriages and at the same time you can constantly catch the question: "Why is this happening to me?" She is at a loss. From her first marriage, she has a daughter, who will soon be twenty years old and Natalya does not know how to explain to her how to teach her daughter so that she does not repeat the fate of her mother.

The documentary filmed the film "Ugliness of Beauty" in it shows the tricks that people resort to in different parts of the planet to be more beautiful. The film has found a good title, that for some disgrace a long neck, stretched lips, ears, painted eyes and lips, tattoos, scars, sawed teeth for others are the standards of beauty. In one of the tribe, it is shown that only a woman with a long neck is considered beautiful. A woman with an ordinary neck in this tribe does not have the slightest chance of gaining the attention of a man. From early childhood, girls are put on rings around their necks, due to which the neck is forcibly stretched for the rest of their lives. If the rings are removed in adulthood, then the neck will not be able to hold the head, it will bend over the shoulder. The neck muscles are atrophied. Our culture of love resembles such a woman's neck. Love leans ugly in any direction because it lacks natural support and even guidance. Mountains of amorous literature and other poetic liberties serve as pulling rings.

To characterize the ecology, the concept of maximum permissible concentration (MPC) is used. And if we separately consider such external components of love as romance, poetry, drama, then the maximum permissible concentration of these components turns out to be excessively exceeded, and the benefit that love gives is completely blocked by them. And this is confirmed by the destruction of family foundations.

An open marriage is a marriage in which both spouses agree on the permissibility of an open relationship - sexual relations with other partners. The term "open marriage" first appeared in 1972 after the publication of the book "Open marriage: a new style for couples" by Nena and George Oneil.
Photo: left - Neil Ferguson, center - Antonia Staats, right - her husband Chris Lucas.
Leading British epidemiologist, 51-year-old Neil Ferguson, contracted the coronavirus while inviting his married mistress, 38-year-old Antonia Staats, to his home.
In the photo: on the left - Neil Ferguson, in the center - Antonia Staats, on the right - her husband Chris Lucas, they have an open marriage.

“In recent years, wherever I go to meet with statesmen and religious leaders, asking them what is the biggest problem in their country, I usually get the same answer: the state of the family. in the Caribbean, in South America, in the United States, in Israel - wherever I go - family breakdown is a universal problem.
That the institution of the family is subject to such attacks by the enemy should not surprise us. The disintegration of the family will lead to the collapse of civilization. The family is the first and fundamental unit of human society". Dr. Miles Monroe.

Family statistics.

Still, Miles Monroe is not quite right, everything he writes refers to the so-called civilized countries, but in the Arab and other Muslim countries, Indochina, China, the institution of the family is all right. There, no enemy can attack the family, the traditional foundations are strong.

In China, since ancient times, female purity has been valued, devotion to her husband is the main thing in family life and raising children. The Chinese family is distinguished by the fact that mutual respect and care reign in it; children are required to behave that would not harm the family. Such an atmosphere creates a special affection for each other, and marriage is primarily in order to have a family. In modern China, as in antiquity, a naked female body exposed for display is negatively evaluated .

The expression and experience of feelings of love in Russians differs from those of other nationalities:
- subjects of Russian nationality are characterized by inconsistency, irrationality. Love is associated with beauty, happiness, joy, delight - on the one hand, and with sadness, suffering, longing, sadness, tears - on the other.
- the subjects of the Chinese nationality are characterized by rationality, there is no contradiction, love for them is harmony, perfection, music, melody, poem.

... love among representatives of Russian culture is a deeper and stronger feeling in emotional experience, in comparison with Chinese and Koreans from South Korea.

Established significant differences in the semantic spaces of meanings of the word "love" between groups of subjects belonging to the same nationality, but who are speakers of different languages (Russian-speaking Koreans and Koreans from South Korea), and the absence of these differences between groups of subjects belonging to different nationalities, but who are native speakers of one (Russian) language (Russian and Russian-speaking Koreans), allowed to confirm the scientific hypothesis about the influence of language on the way of thinking and the way of feeling of the people speaking it.
Candidate of cultural studies A.V. Sevryuk

... in the Chinese linguistic consciousness, the idea is cultivated that love is born from the feeling of friendship. This is confirmed in the analysis of the character "love" in the Chinese language - both complex and simplified versions of the character basically contain the ideogram "friend". Hence, we can draw a conclusion about the similarity in the Chinese linguistic consciousness of the signs of "love" and "friendship". Turning to the concept of love, we do not see an absolute analogy between Russian and Chinese national characters. This is all the more inappropriate since the origins of the Russian and Chinese words love are not identical.
Philologist Ch. Abidueva "Paremiological analysis of the concept" love "in Russian and Chinese cultures.

We can learn a lot about human love by looking at Eastern culture and its traditions. Robert A. Johnson

Overview: love in the family in different countries. E. Pushkarev

Love between spouses in India is important, but it is believed that it will certainly arise and strengthen in the process of living together. It is not at all necessary to marry for love - in fact, marriage for love is contrary to traditions that have developed over millennia. About 95% of all marriages in India are based on prior agreement between the parents of the bride and groom.

About how absurd modern culture has brought the concept of "love" is denoted by Rollo May in the book "LOVE AND WILL":
"Such great importance is attached to love as a means of solving everyday problems that a person's self-respect depends on whether he has found it or not. People who think they have found it are ready to burst with complacency, confident that that they have incontrovertible proof of their salvation, just as Calvinists considered wealth to be a visible evidence of their belonging to the elect. deep and dangerous consequences.They feel themselves part of a new caste of untouchables and admit to the therapist that they suffer from insomnia, and not necessarily because they feel particularly lonely or unhappy, but because they are tormented by the oppressive belief that they have not been able to solve the great mystery of life .And meanwhile, against the background of a constant increase in the number of divorces, persistent vulgarization of love in literature and the visual arts and the undeniable fact that for many people sex has become as meaningless as available, this very "love" began to seem incredibly rare, if not a complete illusion. Some representatives of the "new left" came to the conclusion that love has been destroyed by the very nature of our bourgeois society, and the reforms they propose are aimed at building a "world in which there will be more opportunities for love."
"Indeed, love has become such an intrinsically contradictory phenomenon that some researchers of family life have concluded that" love "is simply the name for the way stronger family members subdue the weaker ones. Ronald Laing simply argues that love is cover for violence".

In postmodern culture, the discourse of love is closely related to the discourse of sexuality, and the concept of love is replaced by the concept of "love scam" or "libertinage"; in conditions when human reproduction ceases to be associated with sex, love and sexual choice become a form of market choice, sexual orientation is also viewed as a free choice of the consumer, and love is declared uneconomical.
German philosopher Norbert Bolz

Already at the end of the 19th century, the poet Arthur Rimbaud suggested: "Love should be reinvented."

Therefore, the term "love" in relation to intersexual individual relationships in everyday life is simply unsuitable for semantic use due to its contradictory nature, multidimensionality, overloaded with antinomies and ambivalences, it is suitable only for fiction and philosophical literature, as a kind of metaphysical , existential abstraction describing "unearthly joy", "otherworldly", "cosmic absolute".

This is a malicious word "love". E. Pushkarev

To finish the description of the situation with the ecology of the culture of love, you can use the formula, in which the numerator has mountains of amorous literature, oceans of theater, cinema and Internet drama, in the denominator there is a huge number of people who are daily puzzled by the search for love,

The need to be in a loving relationship with another person is our strongest need. We either love or seek love, even when we deny that we need love, even when we lose hope or struggle with despair, because we have lost love or because we lack it in our lives. Whatever the state of love you are living in at the moment, you are still focused on love.
Laura Day. "Practical intuition in love." The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

You can see that this need has appeared quite recently.

and not only lonely. We regularly receive letters to our Club with problems: “I am married, but I do not have enough love ...”, “I am married, but I really want to fall in love ...” and many other similar versions of love frustration.

And as a result of this formula.

According to statistics for love, about 80% get married.

And then:

"Now (1999, the trend is growing), half of young families break up in the first year of life, two thirds - in the first five years, in 70% of families that have not yet broken up, the spouses are in tense relations ..."
D.philos.n. V.M. Rosin

The number of divorces per 1000 marriages 2016, Russia - 895, Bryansk region. - 1253, Chechnya - 158.

This is the same, but with clarifications.

“According to official statistics, we have 70 divorces per 100 marriages. And I say that 100% of marriages are divorces. We don't have families as such. It's just that people live in isolation in one territory, isolated from each other.
We have such families that only the outer shell keeps people together. I researched families where the marriage lasted 10-15 years, and asked, asked a question of this type: "You would now marry your husband, but only everything will happen again as it was." And vice versa. As a result, only 5% of men did not regret having married this woman. And 9% of women. But, let's say, I agree to marry her, and my wife would not marry me now, if on a new one. So out of 11,400 families, there are five of them, where there is a mutual choice". (Total less than 05%)
Corresponding Member of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, MD, psychotherapist M.E. Litvak "Love is healthy and addicted." In our library "Love, family, sex and about … ”There are almost all the books of M.Ye. Litvak.

A wise psychotherapist in the study of conjugal love in the survey did not use this word itself and the correctness of this lies in the fact that if he asked a direct question "Do you love your spouse now" he would receive the answer:
Yes - 59%
Periodically - 34%
I Hate - 7%
From an Internet poll.

And he asked a hidden, expert question and got a reliable picture of the love of the spouses.


- firstly, the respondent is inclined to answer not what actually is, but what he considers appropriate in this situation.

- secondly, this word in our culture does not mean at all what it is.

This is a malicious word "love". E. Pushkarev

"Often times love is nothing more than a mutually beneficial deal made by two people, each of whom gets the most from what he can count on, based on the value of both of them in the market for individuals."
E. Fromm "Sane Society"

“Often what is taken for love is that which is not. The custom of "getting married", common economic interests, mutual affection for children, mutual dependence - all this is perceived as "love" until one or both partners admit that they do not love and have never loved each other".
E. Fromm "Love and its decay in modern society"

Humanity has already encountered love excesses. A thousand years ago, this love feeling broke out like an epidemic, swept over all Arab poetry, penetrated the art of Persia, Central Asia, and the troubadours. "Love-mania" was opened to mankind by the Arabs with their ardent feelings and fanatical concentration of all the forces of the soul into a narrow bundle. "I am from the tribe of Ben Azra, when we fall in love, we die" - this is how this fanatical love was imprinted in poetry. Having experienced it, the lover becomes a majnun - a madman, and almost literally - or even literally - lost his mind.
Any epidemics of plague, fascism, alcoholism, "too much love" are dangerous for society, because of them entire states cease to exist.
That epidemic of "fanatical love" for the Arab countries did not pass without leaving a trace, immunity was developed at the state level - Islam. Unearthly love was anathema, and a harmonious family was recognized as the highest value.

An episode from a modern Western novel. The Frenchman studied with an Arab girl at the university, fell in love, decided to get married. He came to the girl's parents:

- I love your daughter. And I want to marry her.

- Do you love my daughter?

- Yes, I do.

- Why do you need such difficulty now as loving her? Is she your wife that you love her? - the girl's mother was sincerely surprised.

Love in the Arab sense is responsibility, care, protection, provision of both material and housing ... These are significant and nervous and energy costs. Why take on all these burdens before marriage.

Both students and female students study in Arab institutes, but there are no student families because they know everything at their student age it is impossible to create a harmonious family. But in Russia they do not know this, and therefore the overwhelming majority of the continuation of student marriage is divorce, fatherlessness.

The main provisions of Islam in relation to love. I.Nasyrov

After reading all the articles and books from this section, we will be convinced even more clearly that the MPCs of drama, romanticism, neuroticism and other isms in the concept of “love” are many times overestimated.

You can make an assessment of the ecology of the culture of love "Happy no love" is the title of a poem written by Louis Aragon. He lived a long life, for more than 30 years he was married to Elsa Triolet, a French writer, the younger sister of Lily Brik, to whom he was V. Mayakovsky is hopelessly in love.


Drama of love. E. Pushkarev

This is a malicious word "love". E. Pushkarev

"Romantic love": aspects, analysis and consequences. E Pushkarev

All articles about romantic love, almost an encyclopedia.

Psychiatric confusion with love in school literature. E. Pushkarev

Consumer society and its antilove essence. E. Pushkarev

The concept of love in polyamory: components of a discourse about multiple love relationships. K. Klesse

The religion of love. R. Precht

Fucked up and hypersexual. R. Precht

War of the sexes. A. Sobolevsky

Love and social subordination of women.

Imitation of love. A. Sedykh

A confused person before the face of love. S. Markov

How to be unloved, or the Factory of love. V. Erofeev

"... when the kiss is over" (about a love story without love) V. Dolinsky

Psychological national emotional security and intellectual security. R. Garifullin

Psychiatric confusion with love in school literature. E. Pushkarev

About Professor Helen Fisher and true love. E. Pushkarev

"Romantic love": aspects, analysis and consequences. E. Pushkarev

Consumer society and its antilove essence. E. Pushkarev

If you eliminate the confusion of love with pseudo-loves. E. Pushkarev

About the destructive influence of the "consumer society" on sexual love. Eh, Fromm

Is a happy marriage possible in the era of the sexual revolution? T. Brykova

What is love, what is romance and what is the difference between them. Robert A. Johnson

One of the basic needs of a modern person is to learn to distinguish between earthly love, which is the basis of any relationship, and romantic love ... Robert A. Johnson

One of the greatest paradoxes of romantic love is that it has nothing to do with earthly relationships. Robert A. Johnson

Romantic love, following its paradoxical nature, constantly fools us. Robert A. Johnson

The evolution of ideas about love and marriage in the last two centuries. V.M. Rosin

Intimacy transformation. Sexuality, love and eroticism in modern societies. A.Giddens

The ideal of romantic love in the "post-romantic era" R. G. Apresyan

Book review: E. Giddens. Transformation of Intimacy. Sexuality, love and eroticism in modern societies. E. Vovk

New European concept of love. V.M. Rosin

Modern love. (1950) P.A. Sorokin

Literature has played a huge role in the love cult. M.O. Menshikov

Superstitions and the truth of love. M.O. Menshikov

Demystifying love. A. Orlov

Psychological health is a prerequisite for love. E. Pushkarev

Mythopoetic basis of genres of modern mass culture (female love story of cinema melodrama) and advertising discourse. E. Karmalova

Content - analysis of a love story. O. Friedland

Sex shock, or sexual evolution according to Stanislav Lem. V. Beloskov

About sexual differentiation, sex and love in human production. A. Vityazev, G. Borozinets

The phenomenon of unlimited sexual behavior in the historical context of different types of sexual culture. M. Konina, A. Kholmogorova

E. Pushkarev Chairman of the Internet Club "ENLIGHTED LOVE"

Our library contains books on this topic:

Konstantin Borovoy "Prostitution in Russia"

Roman Perin "SEXual relations in a degrading society"

Stepan Petrosyan “Culture of Madness. The problem of the popularity of psychoactive substances "

Wilhelm Reich "Sexual Revolution"

Arsenia Sobolevskiy "Revolution of love or degeneration?"

Sergey Stepanov "Myths and dead ends of pop psychology"

Anna Shadrina "Not married: sex, love and family outside of marriage"

Nina Upton "Love and the French"

"Norms of intimate relationships in Islam"

and others

The most read articles on our site are:

Guide to the site and the main milestones in the knowledge of love. E. Pushkarev

Sigmund Freud about love. E. Pushkarev

Freud and Eros. Rollo May

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

What is love. E. Pushkarev

Briefly about love. E. Pushkarev

Falling in love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: compatibility, love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: relationships. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: leadership in love and marriage. E Pushkarev

Love test: "love scale" by Z. Rubin.

Manifestation of love in the intimate life of spouses. E. Whit, G. Patkins

and also sections:

Psychology of love.

Site map.

Эрих Фромм

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Экология и драматургия любви

Наш сайт о природе любви мужчины и женщины: истоки, течение, около любовные переживания и расстройства.

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По моей книге уже с 2010 года обучают студентов по Программе дисциплины – «Психология любви»

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Из книги вы узнаете: любовь между мужчиной и женщиной исключительно положительное чувство. А очень похожая влюбленность с любовью никак не связана. А недоброкачественная влюбленность - мания, она же "наркоманическая любовь", "сверхизбирательная любовь" "folle amore" (безумная любовь (ит.) не только никакого отношения к любви не имеет, а и совсем болезненное расстройство.

А научиться их различать не так уж и сложно.

У человека нет врожденного дара, отличать любовь от влюбленностей, других

псевдолюбовных состояний это можно сделать только овладев знаниями.

Жизнь удалась

Примеры настоящей любви

Пара влюбленных

Драматичные влюбленности известных людей, которые не сделали их счастливыми