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History of the culture of love feelings. E. Pushkarev

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What they do not understand, they do not own.
I.V. Gethe

History of the culture of love feelings The debate that love is a "miracle of civilization" (Stendhal) or that this gift was given to man from his animal ancestors has been going on for a long time and will not end soon.

1. Natural love.

But the supporters of the theory that love existed long before the appearance of man, there are differences of opinion. The first and most of the supporters of this version of the emergence of love take the mating season in animals for love. As a rule, it has a seasonal periodicity. During this period, many animals acquire secondary sexual characteristics (for example, color and mating attire in fish and birds), and exhibit specific forms of behavior (mating, tournaments, nest building). The onset of the mating season is regulated by the seasonal activity of the gonads, which produce hormones that stimulate the sexual activity of animals.

The totality of feelings and experiences, which people call love, is nothing more than a psychological superstructure over a sexual attraction that is biological in nature.
Physiologist, Nobel Prize laureate I.I. Mechnikov

According to I. Kant, love is a metamorphosis of the sexual instinct, which is transformed into the highest element of culture; according to N.A. Berdyaev, love is a product of the development of world culture, an “outcome” of natural necessity.

... we are human only by a few percent, that is, exactly as much as the cortex occupies in the total volume of the brain. Everything else is the limbic system inherited from reptiles. It is she who is responsible for sexual behavior, that is, for love.
Doctor of Biology Sergey Saveliev

A fundamental factor in the evolutionary development of love is sexual reproduction, in which a male and a female bring an equal number of genes into the process of creating a new creature, which provides genetic variability and, therefore, is a means necessary for the survival of the group.
Ethologist A. Protopopov “Treatise on Love. An arrogant mammal". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

TSB (Great Soviet Encyclopedia) also agrees that love “has its own biological prerequisites in animals, expressed in parental and sexual instincts associated with the continuation and preservation of the genus. Love includes life-affirming instincts and drives of "living flesh" and is even unthinkable without them, neither in its genesis nor in essence "

Proponents of this theory believe that love in a person's life is a spiritualized flesh.

Love is a mask on the procreation instinct.
A. Schopenhauer

... Love is fleeting ... Love is only an instrument of nature, forcing us to bring our own kind into this world ...
N. Machiavelli

But the smaller part of the supporters of the fact that a person inherited the ability to love from animals, believe that the mating season, copulation exist separately in their lives .

Usually, the meaning of sexual love is based on the reproduction of the genus, for which it serves as a means. I consider this view to be incorrect - not on the basis of only some ideal considerations, but first of all on the basis of facts of natural history.
V.S. Soloviev "The Meaning of Love". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Konrad Lorenz

From the book by Nobel laureate Konrad Lorenz "YEAR OF THE GRAY GOSE":
"Love and sex" exist separately in the goose's life. When combined, they reliably bind a pair, but quite often they are observed independently of each other. Under normal circumstances, the gander leads active courtship. The goose, on the other hand, only accepts courtship, and therefore at the disposal of the goose in love there is no system of behavior in order to gain the attention of its beloved. She does not have the techniques that, as we have seen, the gander resorts to. The goose can only seem to accidentally keep somewhere close to its chosen one and closely follow him with his eyes. ("Playing with the eyes" seems to have an important place in the life of the gray geese, as well as in the life of other birds.)
If the goose responds to his courtship, they together perform a ritual marriage ceremony, the so-called ceremony of triumphal cry. Then, if nothing unexpected happens, the couple remains faithful to each other for the rest of their lives. However, sometimes something unforeseen happens — again, just like with people. The bonds between the members of the goose pair are strengthened by a shared affection for the chicks, who in turn are equally loyal to their parents.
However, "something unforeseen" can turn into the fact that the gander or goose, despite the already existing "engagement" or even the final "marriage," passionately "falls in love" with another partner. Such a betrayal usually happens only if the couple themselves did not form quite well, for example, when the gander lost his first lover, and his current partner was only a replacement. For many years, observing the geese, we only three times witnessed how the couple broke up, which had already safely hatched chicks. Curiously, in two of these cases, the seducer was the same gander named Ado".
Gray geese for the mating season, part for a while, conceive with other partners (shami). Then the couples reconnect and continue their normal life,
“The connection between the cry of triumph and sexuality, ie. the copulation instinct itself is not easy to understand. In any case, this connection is weak, and everything directly sexual plays a purely subordinate role in the life of wild geese. What unites a couple of geese for life is a triumphant cry, not sexual relations between spouses. The presence of strong bonds of triumphant cry between two individuals "paves the way", ie. to some extent contributes to the emergence of sexual intercourse. If two geese ... are bound for a very long time by the union of this ceremony, then in the end they usually try to copulate".

But the storks, although there is a stable pair, but the relationship in it is built according to different laws. From the outside it may seem that storks are loyal and gentle spouses. However, in reality, their marriage is based on attachment to the same nest. Studies have shown that storks do not recognize their partner by sight. They do not know so much that if one stork is exchanged for another, then the spouse will not suspect anything special. And if in the spring a foreign stork flies to the nest before the legal spouse, then the male will not even notice it. True, the legal spouse, upon returning, will restore her rights to the nest, and at the same time to the male. Therefore, it turns out that only where personal recognition and personal individual attachment arise, and love arises.

In all fairness, we will use the term "protlove" to describe the feelings of animals and birds. Unlike storks, gray geese know what protolove is. They recognize their partners by their appearance and voice and have an exceptional memory for the image of the "favorite". Even after a long separation - migrations geese prefer the old prototype, they spend a lot of time together and outside the breeding season.

The genomes of humans and chimpanzees coincide by more than 99%, the genome of the mouse is similar to the human by 85%; the earthworm has about 70% of the same genes as in humans.

There are many of us in the likeness of God,
And yet, each has a flaw.
Let's consider that flaws
We Are Obliged To The Monkeys.
Oleg Grigoriev

You can consider the biochemistry of love - through the influence of various hormones, enzymes and neurotransmitters on the occurrence of this specific state in a person (I will note in passing that the ancient hormone prolactin, found already in amoebas, plays an important role in this process!) ...
A. Protopopov “Treatise on Love. A snubbed mammal "

The male birds are obviously more affected by the loss of their females, which may be due to the fact that "it is more difficult for them to find new ones" (Brehm. Animal Life).
Often, the female, together with her male, together drive away the lover who is too impudently seeking reciprocity, but it also happens that the female treats the latter favorably, preferring him to her, so to speak, lawful spouse.

Love in the proper sense is found in animals, starting with birds. At the same time, it is revealed that in females there is an antagonism between the sexual and maternal instincts (needs, drives), which is entirely reduced to the predominance of the latter. Perhaps for this reason, the love instinct in males is more developed.
Ch. Lombroso

And the existing myth about the loyalty of swans: a partner from a height to death on the ground, if another dies, this is an invention of the poets. In the animal kingdom, suicides do not happen on this occasion, as, indeed, in archaic human cultures.

All signs of protolove are displayed by vole mice. These inhabitants of the steppes belong to those 3% of mammals who, according to the observations of scientists, have a monogamous relationship. Courtship of steppe voles is a breathtaking "action" that lasts a whole day. After that, they enter into an alliance with their chosen one for life.

Voles, separated from their partners, grieve, as people grieve over the loss of love and the death of a loved one.
L. Young, B. Alexander “The Chemistry of Love. A scientific view of love, sex and attraction " The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Love is fire, longing for happiness.
Her irresistible power
Any creature is subordinate.
Lope de Vega

Spouses - voles prefer to spend time together, clean each other for hours and live in the same burrow. And after the birth of the young, the spouses become gentle and caring parents. Voles avoid contact with other potential partners. The male becomes an aggressive guardian of the female if a lone competitor becomes active.

But a close relative of the steppe vole, the mountain vole, does not show interest in a long-term relationship with a partner, i.e. are polygamous animals. Scientists studying the life of voles made a hypothesis that the monogamy of some and the polygamy of others is to a certain extent related to the amount of synthesis of the hormones oxytocin and vasopressin by which these related mice differ significantly. There are 24 species of mice, and only the steppe voles are monogamous.
Proto-love as a learning process is characteristic of rats, this is the conclusion made by Dr. Pfaus, who studies their life. If young males are ready to mate with any females, then mature males are determined with preferences. As they gain life experience, they have beloved females, to whom they pay special attention, ignoring others. Several forms of manifestations of complex empathies have already been discovered in these rodents.

Darwin is one of the few scientists who believed that animals knew the feeling of love. <> ... scientists rarely mention love among animals, despite the fact that in descriptions of courtship in various species, they all the time refer to the behavior characteristic of people during the period of love.
Professor, anthropologist H. Fischer

Take the Helen Fisher test

In 1872, Charles Darwin published the book On the Expression of Emotions in Man and Animals, in which he analyzed in detail the feelings and means of expression in many species of birds and mammals. By comparing the emotions of animals with those of humans, the founder of the theory of evolution found many expressions of emotion to be universal.
Darwin wrote about the feelings of love experienced by thrush, black grouse, pheasant and other birds. Darwin was a supporter of the idea that all higher animals are characterized by "the same passions, feelings, emotions, even the most complex ones, including jealousy, suspicion, rivalry, gratitude and generosity."

German ornithologists, working with zebra finches (a bird of the finch weaver family), compared the reproductive success of couples who matched up for "love" with those who were forcedly connected to someone else's chosen one. In "happy" couples, grown-up young people turned out to be 37% more than in "unhappy" ones. At the same time, the genetic incompatibility in both groups was approximately at the same level. Scientists have concluded that in monogamy, family harmony is the same point of application of natural selection, as well as other characteristics that increase the number of reared offspring.

Known selectivity in the selection of a pair in the canine family: wolves, jackals, coyotes and other wild-living dogs - highly organized and, moreover, socially organized animals: the life of the population is governed by strict laws.

Love is the same for everyone.

The most striking discovery is that in humans and other animals, essentially the same systems of regulation of these complex forms of behavior work.
Oxytocin and vasepressin are regulators of family relationships in animals, including humans.
Animals in the central nervous system have very ancient neural circuits, neural networks that specialize specifically in the control of sexual and social behavior.
Ph.D. A. Markov

... why do we fall in love with this or that person, I began to look in neurology. I studied the literature for two years and became more and more convinced that each character trait is associated with one of four hormone systems - dopamine / norepinephrine, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen / oxytocin. This pattern was found not only in humans, but also in monkeys, pigeons and even lizards.
Anthropologist Helen Fisher

About Professor Helen Fisher and true love. E Pushkarev

Primates also have a polygamous prototype, such as gorillas. Females compete with each other, they dislike each other, but everyone is sensually attached to the male, and everyone is with this male of their own free will. The male, on the other hand, has the right to choose his "beloved wife", giving her and her cubs more emotional, sexual and material attention, but at the same time is obliged to mate with everyone. If misfortune happens to the male, the females grieve and fall into frank depression.
Harry Harlow
As the experimental studies of the American psychologist Harry Harlow have shown, already in monkeys (rhesus monkeys) love, that is, individual, selective, emotional attachment, is not a single, unchanging state, but includes at least five autonomous "affective systems" (affection English affection):
- maternal love;
- children's love for the mother;
- love of peers, children and adolescents to each other;
- heterosexual love;
- fatherly love for children.
monkey Harry Harlow Chief among them, he thought - love peers, children and teenagers to each other, and Erich Fromm stated: "... the most fundamental kind of love that forms the basis of all kinds of love, is brotherly love," which in essence is the same.
None of these systems is reducible to the other and does not follow from it; at the same time, the genetically earlier system prepares more complex forms of relationships. Especially important is Harlow's conclusion that a mother's love for her cub, contact caresses and attention affect not only the development of communicative qualities and emotional attachments, but even copulatory manifestations. Those. cubs deprived of maternal love and affection in childhood grew up mentally and socially handicapped, incapable of reproducing offspring. The specificity of maternal and paternal love for the young was investigated and their influence on socialization in adulthood.

Fathers in such cohabiting families do not allow mothers - their female partners and neighbors - to offend or abandon the baby and serve as a binding force that protects the group from enemies, primarily from experimenters. In addition, fathers, due to some kind of evolutionary mechanism, which is not yet clear to us, show affection equally to all babies. Many fathers play with them much more than mothers. Fathers ignore the manifestation of aggression from infants and adolescents, they allow them to pinch, bite, pull on the tail and ears. Which, by the way, they would never allow older or adult monkeys - neither males nor females".
G. Harlow "The Nature of Love" (1958)
G. Harlow proved that an individual becomes capable of heterosexual love only after he has consistently passed the “school” of all previous loves: “The next love system in primates is heterosexual love. This kind of love develops out of love for peers - just as love for peers develops out of mother's love".

Danish and German researchers were able to reveal that the memory of past events is arranged in a similar way in humans and two other primates: chimpanzees and orangutans.

"Titi monkeys, who spend their whole lives in monogamous pairs, together. It is obvious that the male and the female individually identify each other, that they are attached to each other and yearn if their spouse dies. In other words, they love each other. Whether we like it or not if we want, it cannot be called anything other than love, and this love is a creation of evolution.
Obviously, in monkeys, sexual relations largely remain associated with periods of receptivity, and sexual behavior serves reproductive purposes. However, in the sexual behavior of monkeys, it is possible to identify and trace some prerequisites for such a phenomenon of human sexual behavior as sex: the choice of a partner, the presence of orgasm in males and females, the mediation of sexual behavior by social factors, socio-sexual learning, as well as some forms of pathologies and sexual disorders. activity. That is why monkeys are a completely adequate model for studying some factors and characteristics of human sexual behavior in health and disease, as well as for identifying phylogenetic trends in its formation as a specifically human form of behavior.
Almost all models of sexual relations described in the order of primates can be observed in modern man".
Ethologist, Doctor of History M.L. Butovskaya "Power, Gender and Reproductive Success". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Love of animals (certainly taking place, and not only among their higher representatives; I invite the reader to observe the behavior of at least cats and cats) ...
A. Protopopov “Treatise on Love. An arrogant mammal". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

It is interesting that not every cat will like a cat: for some reason, all cats are attracted to "blondes". I had different cats. For example, the cats didn’t really like the gray ones, but the "blondes", as they see it, are already trembling. And not every cat is suitable for a cat either. I had Strelka, she never let a single cat approach her in all her life, and she died of uterine cancer. The one she liked was a eunuch, his "ladies" were not interested at all. All my life I lived quietly, but Arrow did not want to surrender to anyone. Others, on the contrary, are ready with everyone. Everything is like people have ...
Yu. Kuklachev, from an interview.

Not only biologists and ethologists wrote about individual love in the animal kingdom, but also:
- The famous Russian philosopher V.S. Soloviev: "Both in animals and in man, sexual love is the highest flowering of individual life" "The meaning of love" (1892),
- E. Fromm: “Although we find love, or rather the equivalent of love, already in animals, their attachments are, in the main, part of their instinctive nature; in man, only the remnants of these instincts are active". The Art of Love (1956).

There are many skeptics who believe that using the term "love" in relation to animals is anthropomorphism, but knowing family, it is suicidal -loving, forensic statistics, you come to the conclusion that in the animal kingdom this state brings more positive emotions than in humans.

Animals can tell a lot about human love and our sexual behavior. ... when it comes to courtship and reproduction, animals - even those considered primitive - are influenced by the same substances that we are. These substances trigger certain behaviors in both animals and humans. A person has preserved elements of behavior similar to those in the behavior of animals, because he has the same chemicals in his body as in animals, and also because certain nerve cells (neurons) are preserved in his brain, which are susceptible to these substances.
L. Young, B. Alexander “The Chemistry of Love. A scientific view of love, sex and attraction". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

The time scales that separate gray geese and animals from humans can be most fully represented by the following calculations.
Based on modern anthropological data, it follows that the first one - two billion years after the emergence of life, the only forms of life on Earth were bacteria and blue-green algae. And further, it took nature 150 million years for birds and mammals to have mastered our land precisely in this historical segment, gray geese, steppe voles, etc., tried and mastered love behavior. On higher animals and primates, whose love behavior continued to develop and become more complex, it took her only 20 million years. Human and great apes chimpanzees and bonobos have a common ancestor, the division of species began five million years ago.

Several million years ago, our ancient ancestors (Homo erectus - Homo erectus ) changed sexual behavior from the previous one - like that of gorillas, where the alpha male by force conquered and kept a harem of females, to another - to a model where most males had sexual access to females.
Christopher Ryan Sex at the Dawn of Civilization. The evolution of human sexuality from prehistoric times to the present day". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

People - a species of Homo sapiens ("reasonable man") - were formed, acquired modern features of the psyche 70-80 thousand years ago in Africa. One of the genetic groups that lived on the territory of modern Ethiopia crossed the Red Sea to Arabia, from where the people of the whole world were settled. Perhaps at this time there was a mixing of Homo sapiens with Neanderthals. Between 1 and 4% of the genome of modern humans contains Neanderthal genetic material.

Rock carvings of the Early Paleolithic (1 million - 100,000 BC), to which the first stage in the development of human culture is attributed, indicate that the caveman already had ideas about love and death and connected both of these phenomena with human life. Candidate of Psychological Sciences L.N. Akimova.
D. Philos. V.M. Analyzing the origins of human culture, Rosin believes that the prerequisites for romantic love appear in archaic culture (10-50 thousand years ago ) in the form of a special ritual of loving behavior, in connection with the weakening of the general control of the tribe, the formation of elements of private life, the separate education of men and women.

Understanding of love in the ancient world. V.M. Rosin

Falling in love and the behavior characteristic of lovers has been developed over millions of years of evolution - says Dr. Sergey Savelyev.

Thanks to ethology, we learned that in the phylogenesis of sexual relations, all human ancestors already had love structures. This means that a person could always experience a feeling of love, but the culture of this feeling, its social status in the history of mankind has changed. And about everything that was with love before the advent of writing, any other material messages can only be assumed.

... ethologists and evolutionary psychologists believe that love is an eminently adaptive emotion that plays an essential role in human survival and reproduction. This understanding of the evolutionary nature of love in no way diminishes its importance and tremendous role in human life.
Ethologist, Doctor of History M.L. Butovskaya

Many authors saw the basis of the ability to love in the phylogeny of man as a herd creature, whose survival was possible only in cooperation with his own kind. The existence of the phylogenetic roots of love is beyond doubt.
K.pskh.n. L. Ya. Gozman "Psychology of emotional relationships". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Protolove can be considered a relationship between men and women that arose by mutual consent at an early stage of the primitive herd, this was called steaming. The resulting couples could be both temporary and exist for the whole life. Since the sexual partners belonged to different clans, living at a certain distance from each other, there were peculiar expeditions of men and women of one clan to the habitat of members of another clan, as well as meetings of both in predetermined places. Remnants of this are the love trips of young men and women, recorded by ethnographers in many primitive societies (among the Bushmen, Papuans of New Guinea, on the Trobriand Islands, etc.). Sexual relations in such couples were not socially regulated, so they took place outside of her.

TSB: “… in the era of the“ primitive human herd ”, there was no marriage. The so-called relations dominated. promiscuity in which every woman could have sex with all men, and every man with all women. <> Group marriage, the oldest form of marriage, in which all a man of one phratry, clan, or a certain intrageneric group had a marriage relationship with all women of another of the same group. It arose from the initial sexual promiscuity and in its development was replaced by a pair marriage".

In group marriage, getting food, mutual assistance, raising children were concentrated within the clan, but sexual relations were exclusively outside it.

A pair marriage, corresponding to the tribal structure, most often it is the cohabitation of one man and one woman. But he by no means excludes the cohabitation of one man with several women or one woman with several men. At the same time, the aforementioned options for cohabitation do not create a new form of marriage: it is just that a man or a woman is in several marriages at the same time.

Professor Doctor of History Yu.I. Semenov in his works notes that even during the period of promiscuity, even before group marriage, more or less permanent couples could well exist, or what received the name - pairing. This happened exclusively on personal affections and, therefore, it can be assumed that these were the first stable human relationships that arose on the basis of individual love. These unions were not sanctioned or regulated by society in any way, and therefore allowed sexual intercourse with other persons.

The relationship that was in such couples can be suggested by the following description: “When a man finds himself alone with his wife at the campfire, he will listen to her complaints, remember her requests, and demand that she participate in many cases. Male bragging is giving way here to the joint actions of two partners who are aware of the main value that they represent for each other ... All this contributes to the creation of a special atmosphere around women - both childishly spontaneous, joyful and flirtatious. <> Campfires sparkle in the dark savannah. Near the hearth, the only protection from the coming cold, ... lying directly on the ground, closely cuddling spouses feel in each other the only consolation, the only support against everyday difficulties ... The caresses do not stop even when a stranger approaches".
Ethnographer K. Levi-Strauss "Sad Tropics"

"Pairing is a necessary condition for the emergence of individual marriage, but for the latter to appear, certain changes had to take place in the system of socio-economic relations of primitive society." YI Semenov "The Origin of Marriage and Family". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

“Group marriage has arisen in a tribal society. Men and women who had sexual intercourse were of different genders. All women of one kind were potential wives of men of another kind. The couple lived in their own kind. Children, knowing only their mother, belonged to her family, or to the mother's family - a group of close female relatives.
Later episodic cohabitation within the framework of group marriage led to a pair marriage and a fragile pair family. The separate settlement of the spouses eventually gave way to the settlement of the husband in the family of the wife, but the children still belonged to the mother's family. The paired family had not yet run its own household and therefore was not the economic unit of society". A.G. Spirkin "A Brief Love Story". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

So, after promiscuity, a group marriage arose, then a pair marriage and then a monogamous marriage.

There are significant differences between protolove and love of a modern person, it lies in the fact that in protolove copulation - conception, sex, up to class society, are not associated with it.
Both gray geese and many monogamous animals that form stable pairs for a genetically predetermined mating season part for a while, conceive with other partners (shami). Then the couples united by the protolove reconnect and continue their normal life, and when the cubs appear, the male takes care of them.
For example, beavers, having created a couple in their youth, live together for the rest of their lives. Beavers have a distinct stage of premarital courtship, for which they spend a lot of energy, they cuddle, caress each other. By these courtship, they seem to indicate the seriousness of their intentions. Together they build large burrows, complex hydraulic structures - dams. Every year they bring up offspring, the conception of which takes place outside the couple. "I dare say, in a 'loving' way ... among beavers, feelings of attraction and attachment are separate from sex". H. Fisher.

“South American titi monkeys appear to mate for life, which among primates is characteristic only of gibbons and humans. Mutual lifelong affection is expressed in their caresses, careful grooming of each other's fur and in the fact that when they settle for the night, they always weave long tails".
However, “once a year, in the mating season, they part for a short time, and males and females of other pairs become their fleeting partners. Then the permanent pairs reconnect and continue their normal life, and when the cubs appear, the male takes care of them, and the fact that the father is not him, apparently, does not bother him at all".
P. Wood "Life Before Man"

The closest living relatives of humans are chimpanzees. When a female chimpanzee becomes estrus, she mates with many males. Neither the leader nor other males show any signs of sexual jealousy or aggression. At this stage of the sexual cycle, the female is perceived as a kind of universal source of pleasure, which can be used by any male nearby. Male chimpanzees actually compete with each other for position in the dominance hierarchy.
Although they have complex selective, emotionally charged relationships: friendship, enmity, likes and dislikes. Chimpanzees may have preferred mates who clearly find pleasure in each other's company.
Goodall, D. Chimpanzees in Nature: Behavior

In the animal kingdom, there are clearly expressed evolutionarily fixed reproductive strategies for the behavior of monogamous animals: mating with the carrier of the strongest genes, and permanent residence with the partner to whom "the soul lies".

Yu.I. Semenov: “The subordination of sexual relations to socio-economic relations was not at all complete in pre-class society. Sexual relations could be carried out in it completely freely, both before marriage and outside of marriage. Marriage imposed certain duties on individuals, gave them certain rights on each other in the sphere of sexual life, but did not impose on them the obligation to abstain from sexual intercourse with strangers". (The beginning of the transition from the primitive communal system - the last pre-class society to the slave - owning 4th - 3rd millennium BC)
The one who is best suited for a joint, mentally - pleasant life - prototype love, is not necessarily suitable for the conception of the most viable offspring. The choice of a partner for conception is more ancient, and the prototype is younger, genetically fixed actions that ensure the survival of the species. And their unification within the framework of a single complex turned out to be an idea not of nature, but of a person with the aim of ordering, domesticating and, if possible, spiritualizing eros and sex.

However, sex is that side of the human being that remains outside of cultural change in its key aspect. Basically, it is always the same. Only erotic sublimations of sex, fantasies, substitutions, attributes and external projections change. In the history of mankind, one can observe only the evolution of cultural manipulation of sex, attempts to make sex work for something else - love, psychology, art, religious revelation, profit making.
Victor Tancher

The emerging animistic beliefs affect, and the understanding of romantic love during this period as the impact of a man's soul on a woman's soul. At the same time, hunting, war were also viewed as a special form of influence on the souls of animals and enemies. A man, in order to save strength, had to refrain from communicating with a woman during such periods. A unique discourse of love is being formed : on the one hand, hunting, war and sex are united by a common explanatory principle - the influence of a man's soul on the souls of a woman, an animal, an enemy. The patterns of behavior implemented in hunting and war are transferred to the relationship between a man and a woman. A man in love acts as a hunter who pursues, wins, strikes, a woman is assigned the role of game, prey, victim - she runs away, lets herself be pursued, gives in. The analogy between love and hunting is reflected in Russian wedding lyrics and in the petroglyphs of Tiu (Africa), in the Turkic languages: Ata - male, father, At - to shoot, Ana - female, mother, An - game - and in Russian (the words "hunting "and" lust "are the same roots). On the other hand, love is opposed to hunting and war, communication with a woman takes away a man's strength and does not allow him to be successful at hunting or war.
The interaction between the sexes in archaic culture is built at the level of the organism, species and natural subject. In accordance with biological evolution, there is a basic program for the preservation of the species, a person implements this program through sexual and parental behavior, while satisfying his own needs for pleasure, safety, and comfort.

Thus, Robert Wright, who generalized the ideas of modern neo-Darwinists, emphasizes that polygamous societies are more consistent with human nature than monogamous ones, as evidenced by the numbers: out of 1154 societies that existed and exist in the history of mankind, 980 were polygamous, and only 60 were monogamous.
D. political science Alex Battler "On Love, Family and State." The book is in our library

In a person, only under a slave system, through moral and legal norms, sex and conception are limited by the framework of the family. A man, the head of a family, as the owner of a large property, did not want to inherit his wealth and power to non-biologically related children. This is how a new moral concept of marital fidelity appeared.
Around the X century BC. commandments appeared:
"You shall not commit adultery" (Exodus 20:14),
“Do not covet your neighbor's house; do not covet your neighbor's wife ... ”(Exodus 20:17), for the first time the rules governing sexual relations were prescribed.

And about fidelity in love first began to write the Roman poets Ovid, Horace in the 1st century. BC.

When a man realizes that a child - in the words of the Bible - is the fruit of his "seed", his feeling of love doubles due to the fact that he has a sense of parental power and a desire to overcome death in the sense that the achievements of his descendants continue his achievements and their life is an extension of his life.
Bertrand Russell. Nobel Prize Laureate.

Love and its place in human life. B. Russell

The most detailed answers to these differences between protolove and love, such incomprehensible and unacceptable morals of modern man, were given in the studies of anthropologists of the remnants of the primitive communal system that have survived until recently.
Anthropologist M. Mead "Growing up in Samoa": "... Samoan society is sharply different from our non-individualized feelings, especially sexual ...". “ Romantic love in the form in which it is found in our civilization is inextricably linked with the ideals of monogamy, monogamy , jealousy, unbreakable fidelity. This kind of love is unfamiliar to the Samoans".
“The simultaneous presence of several sexual intercourses, their short duration, the completely obvious desire to avoid any strong affective attachments in sexual relations, the cheerful use of any opportunities presented to them - all this makes sex in Samoa an end in itself ... something that valued in itself ... They are not inclined to classify sexual relations as an important interpersonal relationship and determine their significance only by sexual satisfaction ...".
Samoans do not associate sex with childbirth. Sex is for the gratification of attraction, and conception and children are the decision of the spirits. After all, there are much more sexual contacts than conception and childbirth.

The interaction of a man and a woman, according to animistic beliefs, was seen as a way of influencing the soul of a man on the soul of a woman. There was no feeling of jealousy: the custom of giving wives to guests was widespread on all continents. Candidate of Psychological Sciences E.V. Varaksin

According to Bancroft, the Lower Californians “do not have marriage ceremonies, nor any word in language that denotes marriage; like birds or free cattle, they mate at the first instinct.

Poole reports that among the Khaidaks, women "cohabit almost indiscriminately with the men of their tribe."

The ethnographer Powers reports that the Californian Cherokee tribe has absolutely no sexual abstinence: “Most young women are considered common property ".

Brick, the author of the monograph "Negro Eros" published in 1928, based on two years of observations of the life of the aborigines of Equatorial Africa, writes that the youth of many tribes before marriage lives in promiscuity.

There are so many works in which the presence of freedom of sexual relations among certain peoples is noted that it is almost impossible to list them.
Yu.I.Semenov "The Origin of Marriage and Family". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

It is known from the works of anthropologists that there are tribes whose vocabulary does not contain the word "love", one of them is the Manu tribe in New Guinea, and in the communication of its members there are no corresponding ritual components. But this does not mean that people from this tribe have never experienced love.

The term love appeared in English only in the 12th century.

According to the analysis of 166 cultures, 89% of them have some kind of concept of romantic love, which, for example, finds its expression in flirting or in the joint escape of lovers (Jancowiak & Fischer, 1992).

D. Ackerman notes that the international anthropological database lists more than three hundred cultures of the globe, in which the concept of love is not systematized in any way.

Nowadays (2006) the idea of matriarchy is completely a thing of the past. The fact is that we do not have data on any society (modern or historically described) in which power functions are systematically exercised by women, and in which political decisions would be the stable prerogative of women. As noted by O. Yu. Artemova, even in matrilineal societies where kinship is counted along the maternal line, management was traditionally carried out by men, relatives of those women through whom the relationship was traced. In both patrilineal and matrilineal societies, men have a higher status and power than women.
Ethologist, Doctor of History M.L. Butovskaya “Secrets of sex. Man and Woman in the Mirror of Evolution". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

With the advent of writing about the development of love relationships, reliable data are already known.

2. Love of antiquity.

The existence of a god or goddess of love is an indispensable attribute of any pagan pantheon, Lada - among the Slavs, Astarte, Isis, Hathor - among the Semitic tribes, Freya - among the Scandinavians, Anahit in Persia, Scythia, Lydia, but let's start with the most ancient goddess. In the Sumerian-Akkadian culture (the territory of modern Iraq), love begins to stand out as a special force of life. At the same time, the archaic combination of love and war is still preserved: the goddess Ishtar is the goddess of love and war, strife at the same time. Love relationships are associated not only with the functions of the organism, species and natural subject, but also with the functions of the social (cultural) subject. Love is associated with the civic needs of a person: the fertility of the family and country depends on the act of reproduction, and male sexuality, strength - becomes a sign and attribute of social power. Enmity and friendship, the highest kind of affection and dislike - these poles, alien by modern standards, still converge in the goddess Ishtar. The later gods - from Greek and Indian mythology - no longer have such a mixture.

Sultan Mohammed II, as the Arab legend says, stabbed a beauty from his harem when he began to fall in love with her in order to preserve his freedom: Stenka Razin did something similar ...

Judging by the Akkadian "Epic of Gilgamesh" (XXIII-XXI centuries BC), the goddess Ishtar is more in need of physical intimacy, she is not so much "in love" as she longs for. That is why she gets rid of so easily and treacherously: from her husband Tammuz, sending him to the underworld, from the shepherd whom she loved - by making him a wolf, from the gardener who did not want her love - by turning him into a spider.

The most ancient goddess of love, Ishtar, is clearly many-loving, polygamous, insatiable (in modern sexological language she has strong sexual constitution ) and vindictive. She also misfires with Gilgamesh after she is inflamed with a passionate attraction, he rejects her. Insidious Ishtar commands the heavenly bull to kill him. But Gilgamesh is not an ordinary person, he is a demigod, this is what helps him to avoid a tragic fate.

The poem about Gilgamesh is a thousand years older than the Iliad, and was composed about four thousand years ago. At that time special priestesses of love lived at ancient temples, they were revered, love was identified as a mysterious force giving life (the "act of reproduction" was considered almost sacred).
There is in the poem the story of the priestess of love Shamhat and the wild man Enkidu, to tame, whom she was sent. This is how the poem says about it:
Shamkhat opened her breasts, bared her shame.
I saw Enkidu - I forgot where I was born!
Without embarrassment, she took his breath ...
Delight gave him, the cause of women,
Her caresses were pleasant to him.
A simple eros, judging by the legends that have come down to us, was at first love in Ancient Egypt. Four millennia ago, the Egyptians already had a cult of Hathor, the goddess of love and fun. At that time hymns were sung in her honor, in which she was called the Beautiful, Golden, Lady of the stars.
Several centuries passed, and in Ancient Egypt love lyrics appeared, skillful and sophisticated in their highest ups. And the love that was reflected in her was no longer a simple eros - there were already spiritual feelings in it, in many ways similar to the current ones.
Akhenaten's love for Nefertiti (XIV century BC) was the first bright love feeling we know from history. For the first time, love is associated with the aesthetic needs of man: in hundreds of inscriptions in dozens of sculptures and tombstones, the Pharaoh proclaimed his love for Nefertiti. And the legends about this love were passed down from generation to generation. Pharaoh was a man of extraordinary courage - in spite of the priests, he founded a new cult - the cult of serving the Light. To the sun god Aten, abandoning the gloomy Amun-ra, who loves human sacrifice.
Love in ancient Indian culture is a subject of knowledge and close study. Ideas about love are differentiated: types of love and types of men and women are distinguished according to their sexual constitution and attractiveness. Love begins to be considered as a moral phenomenon, love fits into the system of life values and human goals (three goals in human life: fulfilling duties, achieving material well-being, satisfying sensual impulses), and, being inscribed into this system, becomes the subject of religious and philosophical reasoning. Love is associated with the need for a worldview, with the need for behavior according to moral standards. In the famous Ramayana, which is two and a half thousand years old, the love of Rama and Sita is already spiritual and individual.

Today in India the value of the family is much higher than the value of love, the connection between them is established by the word "parakkam" - love that has arisen from habit. Analogue to Russian: "Suffer and fall in love."

Love of early antiquity, apparently, can be called ancient eros. It is as if in front of love, in it there is still a lot of common natural, the same for a person and other living beings. It is not for nothing that Zeus becomes a bull in order to combine with Europe, a swan in order to love Leda, a satyr in order to satiate his passion for Antiion. It is not for nothing that Poseidon turns into a horse in order to combine with Demeter and the Titanide Medusa, who later gave birth to the winged horse Pegasus.
In these fantastic transformations, in these poetic metamorphoses, the views of the ancients on love were directly imprinted, the nature of their eros is visible. Bodily (albeit already spiritualized) gravities, fleshly desires - such was, apparently, the early eros of antiquity.
It is often said in myths that the gods took the form of other people in order to appear to their beloved under the guise of them. So Zeus came to Alcmene, taking the guise of her husband, Amphitryon, and from this meeting, Hercules was born. The gods of Indian mythology did the same: Indra, for example, in the guise of the Sage Gautama, came to his wife Ahalya. All this says that the gods did not need reciprocal love, love for them, an individual feeling. They needed to satisfy their carnal passion, they did not even think about reciprocity.
Plato (427 - 347 BC)
Plato Twenty-four centuries ago, Plato created the first philosophy of love in culture; it marked a new stage in the comprehension of human love, and later became the source for many love theories.

Plato was the first who expressed a revolutionary idea for his time, separating love from biological needs, natural drives and bodily pleasures, began to switch the ordinary understanding of love from the body to the personality. To explain his theory of love, he speaks of two Aphrodites: Aphrodite Pan-demos (All-People) - the deity of rough sensual love and Aphrodite Urania - the goddess of sublime, refined love. Also, Plato lowers the status of Eros from a deity to a demon (the purpose of demons is to be intermediaries between gods and people, they transmit to people, in a dream or in reality, divine orders and instructions).

For Plato, love is a dual feeling, it combines the opposite sides of human nature. In her lives the craving of people for the beautiful - and the feeling of something missing, the desire to make up for what a person does not have. Eros is two-faced, says Plato, he brings man both benefit and harm, gives him evil and good. And love is needed in order to heal the flaws of human nature, to compensate them. Plato called love "the thirst for integrity and the pursuit of it." So, for the first time in our history, the idea arose about the special power of love, about its role as a corrector of human nature. And the fact that people united by love as androgynes acquire special wisdom, strength and power.

And in our time, the myth of androgynes is popular, which Aristophanes tells Socrates in Plato's "Feast". The myth that once, in addition to ordinary people, there were people who had a double body - two pairs of arms and legs, two faces - androgynous. They were "terrible in their strength and power." Zeus was afraid of androgynes because they, thanks to their wisdom and strength, would be able to take away his power. And, to protect themselves, Zeus cut them in half. Therefore, the descendants of androgynes are now halves, constantly yearning for their restoration.

Before Plato, it was believed that love does not depend on a person, it arises when Eros hits a person with his golden arrow, this is passion, bodily attraction, pleasure.

And Plato ascribes a rational principle to love, he considers love also as a spiritual occupation, which means that you no longer need to wait for the heart to be struck by the arrow of Eros, you can find it yourself.

And in Roman mythology, Venus became the goddess of gardens, beauty and love, she was identified with Aphrodite. Venus had a son, Cupid, in his functions he was an analogue of Eros.

The idea of love arising as a union of two halves arose in different versions. The Arab poet and scholar Ibn Hazm (994-1064) writes: "Allah the Great and Glorious" did not just create a pair for each soul, but "a pair for the soul arose from it." It follows from this that "the reason for love is the union in their main sublime element of the soul particles, separated in the local nature."

In Love, a single true personality is reborn, by free merging of its parts, restoring once and somehow dissolving by it.
religious philosopher L.P. Karsavin (first half of the 20th century)

By this time, terms already existed in the ancient Greek language, denoting different states that were formed under the influence of various sexual desires:
filia - love-affection, love-sympathy, love-friendship, presupposing free individual choice;
storge - generic indissoluble bond, love-affection;
pragma - “practical” love balanced by a meaningful choice;
agape - sacrificial, selfless love for one's neighbor, benevolence, mercy;
eros - sensual love;
mania - love-obsession, love-addiction;
eunoia - love - giving;
potos - lust;
aphrodisia - "affairs of Aphrodite";
akolasia - pleasures of the body, were terms denoting pleasures delivered through sight, hearing and smell;
charis - love - gratitude and respect.
latreya - "reverent worship", "cult service", love-reverence.
There were also other terms that emphasized various aspects of love attraction.
One can only regret that in the modern Russian language there is no such richness of terms that get rid of confusion and delusions.

In ancient Greece, love marriage did not exist. Plato emphasized that between the ages of 30 and 35, everyone had to marry. Marriage was included in the public duties of citizens. Refusal to marry, according to Plato, is a crime. "Anyone who neglected this obligation had to pay tax annually so that he would not imagine that life without marriage is convenient and profitable".

Love itself as an intimate experience, as an intimate feeling for a specific person, begins to form in the ancient Greek culture that is significant for us, but it cannot be called a subjective feeling. The woman performed the reproductive function and was for the man only the mother of heirs, the housekeeper and overseer over slaves. Passion, as well as communication, was carried outside the family and belonged to the getters. The marriage union was more likely to make a woman a property. a certain man, but in no way implied egalitarianism or his loyalty to her.
Diana Ackerman "Love in History". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Emperor Andrian (117-138): "It is clear that I satisfy my passions with others: after all, the concept of" wife "means honor, not pleasure."

Aristotle in "Nicomachean Ethics" explains the differences between eros and philia as carnal love and love of friendship. He wrote: "Love, therefore, comes more from friendship than from sensual attraction. But if most of all from friendship, then friendship is the goal of love. Consequently, sensual attraction is either not a goal at all, or it is for the sake of friendship." For the ancient Greeks, in the hierarchy of their moral values, love took a place subordinated to friendship, with which the good of both two and the whole society was tied.
Ovid (late 1st century BC - early 1st century AD)
New steps in the psychology of love are captured by Roman poets of the 1st century. BC. - Catullus, Tibullus, Ovid, Horace, Virgil. Their love reaches enormous heights, refines, acquires new properties that were not there before. In the lyrics of this period, a new, previously unthinkable motive of fidelity in love appears.
Of course, we are talking about the highest points of love of that time, about love poeticized, refined, and the Greeks and Romans sang love not for women in general, not for wives, but only for getters.

We have a heterosexual for entertainment, a concubine for bodily pleasure, and we have wives in order to have legitimate children, keepers of the house.

Love in life is usually lower in level than in lyrics. Speaking about his feelings in poetry, the poet by this alone gives them a different sound, ennobles, refines them, makes them richer - makes them different. And, besides, love in art is the top of a mountain, but how much space does the top take in the total mass of the mountain?

In Rome of that era, love often turns into voluptuousness, into a sophisticated game. In the Annals of Tacitus and The Lives of the Twelve Caesars, Suetonius tells in detail about the love orgies that reached bacchanal heights at the palace of the Caesars. Emperors indulged in love in public, in front of the people. For all its sophistication, voluptuousness, Ancient Rome has many examples of lofty feelings. Love here is a complex feeling, consisting of many streams, not monolithic, like the Greeks. Love already occupies an important place in the lyrics of the Romans. A motive of jealousy appears, an oath of love to the grave, which speaks of the development of individuality in love.

The low cost of sexual services for prostitutes in the Roman Empire - an average of 2 ass, which is equivalent to the price of a 1-pound loaf of bread (0.4535 kg.) And a significant excess of supply over demand made this kind of relationship more economical and simple compared to buying a slave or permanent the content of the concubine.

In 18 BC. Emperor Augustus (63 BC - 14 BC) issued a famous law that punished for violation of marital fidelity.
In Rome, a husband who caught his wife at the scene of adultery had the right to kill her, and any act of revenge (murder, castration, mutilation of the nose, etc.) could be applied to the one who committed adultery with his wife.

The history of the culture of love depends a lot on the history of the relationship between the sexes. In the Greek world, the dominance of the masculine principle was pronounced. A man is always a man, a husband. A woman is dependent, she was not perceived as a full-fledged person and did not have the right of citizenship, she was completely dependent on a man. She was an inferior being, who was not considered a worthy occupation to love.

One man is worth more than a thousand women

Ancient Greece is considered the kingdom of true friendship. The names Castor and Polidevkos, Orestes and Pilada, Achilles and Patroclus became common nouns. The main features of friendship were considered its indissolubility. The symbol of this friendship was the story of Castor and Polidevko, set forth in the myths of the Dioscuri. According to the myth, Polideukos, the son of Zeus, being unable to bear the death of his brother and friend Castor, who died in battle, asked his father to send death to him. Zeus allowed Polidevkus to give half of his immortality to his brother. Since then, the Dioscuri spent one day in the underworld of the dead, and one day on Olympus. In this beautiful poetic myth, the idea of the great value of friendship is utterly expressed: friendship is stronger than death.

The cult of friendship is characteristic not only of ancient Greek, but also of Hellenistic and ancient Roman philosophy.

At the turn of the millennium, "love-mania" broke out like an epidemic, swept over all Arab poetry, penetrated the art of Persia, Central Asia, Georgia, and the troubadours. "Teia mania" - madness from the gods - this is how the ancient Greeks called this love. Sappho and Plato immortalized her symptoms - confusion and pain of the soul, heart heat, loss of sleep and appetite.

"Love-mania" was opened to mankind by the Arabs with their ardent feelings and fanatical concentration of all the forces of the soul into a narrow bundle. "I am from the tribe of Ben Azra, when we fall in love, we die" - this is how this fanatical love was imprinted in poetry. Having experienced it, the lover becomes a majnun - a madman, and almost literally - or even literally - lost his mind.

It was at this time (XII century) that the Persian poet Nizami Ganjavi "Khosrov and Shirin", "Leyli and Majnun" wrote his famous poems. In them, he highly artistically glorifies the manic passion of lovers, pays attention not just to drinking wine, but to how his heroes drink themselves to death. It can even be called a Persian Shakespeare, because the poem "Khosrov and Shirin" is probably taken as the prototype of "Romeo and Juliet". In it, the main character Shirin plunges a dagger into her heart after she sees that her beloved Khosrov is dying after a series of dramatic events. In the poem Leyli and Majnun, the heroes also experience violent passions - love mania, from which they die prematurely.

Later, a slightly different, hedonistic style of Arab love is described in the tales of "A Thousand and One Nights", meeting each other, lovers take a bath, anoint themselves with incense, put on beautiful clothes. They eat fine food, drink sweet wines, listen to music and singing. From one pleasure to another, along the steps, they approach the summit of sensual pleasures.

It can be assumed that the Arab countries adopted Islam to insure themselves against such passions and drunkenness, it is strictly forbidden in it to this day.

In Egypt today, love is "in the shadow of the mosque." Even the most harmless love is subject to strict control. Sharia forces to hide any manifestations of sensuality. Egyptian love remains "secret, rebellious, blasphemous."

The era of Antiquity is changed by the Middle Ages of the 5th century. - XV century. in these centuries, Christianity was established in the West, and Islam in the East, the world was ruled by religious power.
She controlled sex in the form of prohibitions and taboos. The attitude of society towards women was enshrined in the dogmas of religion. The woman was blamed for the original sin, she is regarded as the "gates of hell", "the vessel of seduction" and the culprit of Adam's sins, as a result the superiority of the man over the woman was consolidated. For the believing thinker of the Middle Ages, love for a woman is a threat to the salvation of the soul, the greatest duty of a Christian. The distinctive features of the prevailing morality were the ascetic and anti-sexual ideal; the entire sphere of the erotic was "outlawed". The emancipation of women began in the Renaissance, they got the opportunity to study literature, science, art.

Love in the Old Church Slavonic language was divided into "True Love", or love for God, which determined the ideals of the medieval man and determined the attitude towards neighbors. At the same time, the Old Church Slavonic language also speaks of another person's love - "False Love", carnal, leading a person to a vice associated with passion, attraction, "which is actually not love, but its image, or rather falling away from True Love" ...
The Old Russian language not only perceived this philosophical and aesthetic understanding of the love of the Old Church Slavonic language, but also developed it in its own way.
In the modern Russian language, the religious understanding of love has been lost; it has become a purely anthropocentric category. The linguistic consciousness of a modern person appeals, first of all, to interpersonal relations "a feeling of warm heart inclination, attraction to a person of the opposite sex."
K. philological sciences. I. Ivanova

XII century, the church was guided by the statement of Saint Jerome: “For someone else's wife, all love is shameful; to hers she must be moderate; he is unfaithful who loves his spouse too dearly".

"The Middle Ages: - as Engels wrote - wiped out the ancient civilization from the face of the earth in order to start from the very beginning in everything." At the end of the Middle Ages, a big and important revolution began in Europe, individual love , which until then had remained in the shadow of art, comes out to its proscenium and becomes its main axis.
At the beginning of the second millennium, a big and important revolution began in Europe. For many centuries, love , which until then stood in the background of art, suddenly enters its foreground and becomes its main axis.

The poetic genius of Dante (1265-1321) and Petrarch (1304-1374), in modern terms, raised the rating of love to the top.
Engels in his work "Ludwig Feuerbach and the End of Classical German Philosophy" notes that "... sexual love during the last 8 centuries has become an obligatory axis around which all poetry revolves."

Abelard. Eloise, photo

A case from life. Eloise was born in 1100, when Abelard was already 20 years old. Abelard from childhood showed ability and willingness to learn. He entered a monastic school and with his success stood out sharply among his classmates. He was equally successful in oratory, research and writing skills. While still at school, he decided to seriously pursue his career in order to achieve high success. He had little interest in peer society, wine, parties, girls, Abelard considered it all a waste of time.
Until the age of 37, he had neither sexual nor even love experience, although by this time Abelard was a prominent, attractive man, a famous, respected and promising church leader. At this time, he meets Eloise, the niece of Canon Fulbert. Eloise has long been in love with Abelard and begged her uncle to invite him to study church sciences with her.
Eloise was not only a beautiful, well-built girl, but also showed a sharp mind and ability to discuss, clearly and reasonably express her thoughts. Abelard Eloise first became interested in as a capable, promising student, and then as an attractive girl. A whirlwind romance ensued. Abelard's authority was so high that Fulbert, without fear and supervision, left them alone due to their duty. But one day he nevertheless accidentally found them in bed, for a completely different occupation, for which he was invited.

From Abelard's book "The Story of My Disasters": "Under the pretext of learning, we indulged in the happiness of love for hours, and classes were a secret refuge for our passion. Above the open books, there were more words about love than about teaching. There were more kisses than wise sayings. Hands more often reached for the chest than for books, and the eyes more often reflected love than followed what was written. To arouse less suspicion, I struck Eloise, but not in anger, but with love, not in irritation, but with tenderness, and these blows were more pleasant than any balm. What's next? Seized with passion, we did not miss any of the lovemaking, adding everything unusual that love could come up with". From this episode, it is clear that during lovemaking they also used sadomasochistic techniques.

There was a big scandal. Moreover, Eloise became pregnant. According to the customs of that time, they secretly married and lived apart. They had a son, whom they strangely named for that time - Astrolabe. But Fulbert did not like this, he harbored a grudge against Abelard for the spoiled fate of his niece. He hired criminals who broke into Abelard's house and emasculated him.

This radically changed the lives of the participants in the drama. Despite Elöise's pleas, Abelard felt that the end of both his career as a clergyman and their marriage had come. He told Eloise to go to a monastery and get tonsured as a nun. She obeyed. He himself took monastic vows. When Eloise read his book, she wrote to him, and they began a correspondence that was to become part of the literary heritage of the Western world.

Eloise's letters are full of scholarly reasoning and quotations, but the passion for the chosen one, the joy of happiness that her whole life is for him, triumph. She was free and wanted to belong to him:

... "I loved you with love beyond measure".

... "While I was enjoying carnal passion with you, it was not clear to many why I was doing this: whether for love for you or for the sake of sensuality. Now the end reveals what prompted me in the beginning. After all, I completely renounced all pleasures, just to obey your will".

... "Even during a solemn divine service, when prayer should be especially pure, sinful visions of these pleasures overwhelm my unfortunate soul to such an extent that I indulge in these abominations more than prayer. And instead of lamenting what I have done, I more often I sigh about what has not happened. " The husband taken away from her, she wrote, is happier: "The crime has taken away from him the very incentive to sin".

... "God alone takes Eloise from you," she assured him. "Yes, dear Abelard! He grants the soul that peace of mind that, by a fleeting reminder of our misfortune, does not allow me to indulge in pleasures. Great God! What other rival could take me away from you? Can you imagine any mortal being able to erase you from my heart? Can you make me guilty of sacrificing the noble and learned Abelard for anyone but God?"

The following excerpt from her letter testifies to the fact that Eloise was experiencing poor-quality love - mania is evidenced by the following excerpt from her letter, at that time she was the abbess of the Paraclete monastery: “Passions torment me even more, torment me unbearably, for I am naturally weaker. Those who consider me chaste have not realized that I am simply hypocritical. They confuse chastity and virtue, although true virtue is the virtue of the soul, not the body. I have some merits before people, but I do not have them before God [...] After all, the Lord knows that in all the circumstances of my life I was always more afraid of offending you than of him. It's more important for me to like you than to like him. Only your command, and not love for God, made me put on this garment".

Abelard in the early monastic years helped his ex-wife financially, gave her money received from his students. But his letters were devoid of cordiality, more than restrained. He wrote about his love as a sin, a fall, a concession to sensuality. The pleasure of love, which he indulged in with her in the monastery refectory, he calls the greatest blasphemy and "a direct violation of Christian morality" and "disgusting to Jesus Christ."

Abelard died at the age of sixty-three. After his death, Eloise interceded and after long petitions a paper was received about the absolution of his sins. She followed him twenty years later, having lived as long as Abelard. She was buried in the same grave as Abelard, as she bequeathed.

Historical aspects of love as a separate constant of world culture (more precisely, thesauri of world culture) based on material studied in different sciences: cultural studies, philology ( history of literature), psychology, sociology from antiquity to the present day are considered in the work "The concept of love in world culture." Shaft. A. Lukov, Vl. A. Lukov

Orthodoxy brought into life its ideals of love, they are set forth in the words of the Apostle Paul.


1. If I speak in human and angelic tongues, but have no love, then I am a ringing brass or a sounding cymbal.

2. If I have the gift of prophecy, and I know all the secrets, and I have all knowledge and all faith, so that I can move mountains, but I do not have love, then I am nothing.

3. And if I distribute all my possessions and give my body to be burned, but I have no love, there is no benefit to me.

4. Love endures for a long time, is merciful, love does not envy, love is not exalted, not proud.

5. Does not rage, does not seek his own, does not get irritated, does not think evil.

6. He does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but suffers in the truth.

7. Covers everything, believes everything, hopes everything, endures everything.

8. Love never ceases, although prophecies will cease, and tongues will cease, and knowledge will be abolished ...

13. And now these three abide: faith, hope, love, but love is the greatest of them.

1 Cor. 13, 1 - 8, 13.

The Church draws a sharp line between lust and love. Lust is not the satisfaction of carnal desire, but the enjoyment of it. Wickedness consists in lusting for pleasure, so pleasure is regarded as a vice. Sexual love should not be pleasure, it should be in the name of health, procreation. Sexual love always stands below love for God and should not interfere with it. It is not the body that is guilty of sin, but the soul.

Different levels of development of tribal unions of the Eastern Slavs provided the specifics of their sexual culture. If the glades entered into monogamous marriages, then “the northerners, Radimichi and Vyatichi were likened to the customs of the Drevlyans; they also knew neither chastity, nor marriage unions; but young people of both sexes converged on games between villages: grooms chose brides and, without any rituals, agreed to live with them; polygamy was their custom".
N.M. Karamzin

In addition to the five main wives, the Kiev prince Vladimir "Red Sun" had 800 concubines (... and his concubine was 300 in Vyshegorod, and 300 in Belegorod, and 200 in Berestove), and the chronicler emphasizes that the prince was not fed up with this and spent to his bed of married wives and girls. This harem was officially dissolved when Russia adopted Orthodoxy.

The traditions of polygamy were kept in Russia for more than one century after baptism. The presence of several "spouses" was not the privilege of princes and nobility. The Old Russian legislative code "Extensive Truth" provides for a situation when his "timid children" take part in the division of the property of a deceased person together with their mother (Article 98).
"A good wife is a crown to her husband and sorrow": relations in the family. Ancient Russia XI-XIII centuries V. Dolgov

The famous said:
What is good?
What's bad?
It all depends on
What is the era.

3. Modern love.

Love? The invention of the twelfth century!
Charles Seignobo

Love was an invention of poets (troubadour of Provence), and poetry remained synonymous with love for a long time.
Nina Upton "Love and the French". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Speaking in mountaineering terms, the development of a culture of love is more like not ascending to the top, but like traversing a mountain range, when from one peak there is a descent to the foot, then to another peak. These descents and ascents can also be called macro amorous trends: love antiquity, courtly (knightly) love, romantic love and now we live in a period of transition to confluent love. Macro amorous trends are cultural codes, sensual, ritual ideology, differing in both cognitive-behavioral and emotional-behavioral components of experiences. Their content is the result of collective reflection on the processes of comprehending love, all emotional, erotic experiences of passions that existed in society in a specific historical period of development. Within amorous trends there is turbulence, variability of amorous forms of characters' manifestation.

F. Engels: “Until the Middle Ages, there could be no question of individual sexual love. It goes without saying that physical beauty, friendship, similar inclinations, etc. connection, which for both men and women was not completely indifferent with whom they entered into an intimate relationship.But this is still infinitely far from modern sexual love. That modest share of conjugal love, which ancient times knows, is not a subjective inclination, but an objective obligation, not the basis of marriage, but an addition to it.Love relationships in the modern sense take place in antiquity only outside of official society. Shepherds, love joys and sufferings whom Theocritus and Moschus, Daphnis and Chloe Longa sing to us, are exclusively slaves who do not take part in the affairs of the state, in the life sphere of a free citizen Nina. But in addition to love affairs among slaves, we find such ties only as a product of the decay of the dying ancient world, and at the same time, ties with women who also stand outside the official society - with getters, that is, strangers or freedmen: in Athens - on the eve of their decline, in Rome - in the days of the empire. If love affairs did arise between free citizens, then only as a violation of marital fidelity. And for the classical poet of antiquity, who sang love , old Anacreon, sexual love in our sense was so indifferent that even the sex of the beloved was indifferent to him.
Modern sexual love differs significantly from simple sexual attraction, from the eros of the ancients. First, it assumes that the beloved creature has mutual love ; in this respect, a woman is on an equal footing with a man, while her consent was not always required for ancient eros. Secondly, the strength and duration of sexual love are such that the impossibility of possession and separation seem to both sides a great, if not the greatest misfortune; they take a huge risk, even put their lives on the line in order only to belong to each other, which in ancient times happened only in cases of violation of marital fidelity. Finally, a new moral criterion appears for condemning and justifying sexual intercourse; they ask not only whether it was married or outside of marriage, but also whether it arose out of mutual love or not? It is clear that in feudal or bourgeois practice this new criterion is no better than with all other criteria of morality - they do not reckon with it. But they treat him no worse than others: he, like those, is recognized - in theory, on paper. And so far it is impossible to demand more.
The Middle Ages begins with where the ancient world stopped with its rudiments of sexual love - with adultery. From chivalrous love, which created the song of the dawn, striving for the destruction of marriage, to love, which should become its basis, there is still a long way, which chivalry did not go through to the end".

The term love did not appear in English until the 12th century.

The Christian concept of monogamous indissoluble marriage in Europe gains recognition only in the XII-XIII centuries. Only at this time is marriage ranked among the main Christian sacraments. A church blessing is also included in the marriage procedure. Before that, polygamy and konkubinat were widespread.

The poetry of troubadours, which emerged in the XII century in Provence and quickly spread in Europe, with its cult of the Beautiful Lady, for whose sake the knight is ready to make the greatest sacrifices and exploits, was a challenge to church asceticism and frivolity of "carnival" culture. The knightly epic is characterized by a striving for military glory and exaggerated ambition. Fight and love - that was the motto of the aristocrat. Falling in love has become an indispensable duty for feudal lords of all ranks.
A beautiful lady combined a real woman, whom the knight wanted to possess, and a madonna, who can only be worshiped from afar. Hence the exaggerated, sometimes even painful exaltation of these relations. The ritual of serving the Beautiful Lady did not prevent the knights from satisfying their earthly needs with other women, raping commoners, despotically treating their own wives.

Knightly love is more civilized, more spiritual, more psychologically refined. Here she is clearly richer than the antique, standing in front of her. But on the other hand, antique love is more full-blooded, more integral, more natural, in it there is a harmony of bodily and spiritual impulses, which knightly love does not have.

Dante and Beatrice
Dante and Beatrice
The gap between the ideal image of love and its reality persists in European culture even later. In literature and art of the XIII - XV centuries. the cult of spiritual, platonic love has become widespread ( love Dante for Beatrice, with whom the poet never mentioned a single in a word, Petrarch's sonnets, devoid of any sensual and erotic components).

It is believed that the concept of "platonic love" was introduced by the Florentine philosopher Marsilio Ficino in the 15th century.

Renaissance humanists oppose both religious asceticism and platonic, desexualized love. What was previously considered "fleshly sin," they claim as healthy "bodily joy." Erotic experiences emerge from the underground, taking their rightful place in "high" culture.
Raphael Fornarina
Case of life. In 1508 Raphael moved to Rome. He is already very famous and very rich, he lives luxuriously. Raphael is single and is considered an enviable groom. He is given special signs of attention by many parents and relatives of girls on issue. In 1514, when Raphael turns 31, Cardinal Bibiena turns to him with an offer of matchmaking to his niece Maria. This is a situation in which rejection is not possible due to the high rank of the matchmaker. At first, Raphael takes a long time to answer, and then agrees to the marriage, but on the condition that it will take place in three years. The engagement took place, the bride and groom exchanged rings, but Raphael treats Mary coolly. Maria, it seems, does not notice this, because her old cherished dream has come true, she is happy.
Raphael continues to lead a free, fun lifestyle. His friends - artists tell him that a beautiful woman lives nearby, the daughter of the baker Margarita Luti, whom he later nicknamed Fornarina. Raphael does not miss the opportunity to meet Fornarina, and seeing the beauty, falls in love . A whirlwind romance ensues. A poorly educated beauty, a baker knows little about the famous artist Raphael, but she is captivated by his generosity, passion and attention.
He wrote sonnets to her, in which he confessed that he was immensely happy in his passion.
In the radiance of the rays, your dear image
My soul always keeps it.
I will start to write and see - there is no such power,
Those delights ... Oh, how good you are!
Her features are captured in his creations:
And my brush is bold, and the colors are alive,
But how dead they are before you!
How these delicate lilies, roses ebb and flow
To portray with such beauty?
Raphael painted Fornarin countless times: it is either a young girl, a real child of nature who came out of the water, or a divinely regal Roman woman. The most famous portraits are "Donna Velata" and "Saint Cecilia". But the true height reached Raphael in the "Sistine Madonna", which V. Zhukovsky called "the animated throne of God."
She goes to live in his posh house. Unhappy Maria is going through the loving life of her famous groom so hard that she dies without waiting for the coveted wedding. Rafael survived only three years, his bride. When he died, Fornarina did not leave his bed. And when the bishop was invited to take communion with the dying man, she grabbed the foot of the bed so tightly that it was not even possible to pull it out by force. After the death of Raphael, Fornarina became a dear courtesan; she ended "her disgraceful life in a monastery, but when is unknown."
Raphael felt guilty for the untimely death of Mary, so he bequeathed to be buried next to the unfortunate bride, but this was not fulfilled.

Since the beginning of the Renaissance or Renaissance era. (the beginning of the XIV - the end of the 16th century) the era of "romantic love" begins.

“The philosophy and literature of romantics have created a special concept of love known as“ romantic love ”. Romantic love is something ideal, sublime, eternal. Romantic literature and poetry created a real cult of love as the highest, almost mystical value, towering above all earthly conventions.

However, romantic love, as a spiritual and mystical affinity, knows no boundaries and marriage, the real relationship of people for it is not a prerequisite and criterion for the full value of moral feelings.

The theory of romantic love developed in the direction of mysticism. This is evidenced, for example, by the works of the German religious philosopher Franz Baader, author of Theses of Erotic Philosophy (1828) and Forty Theses of Religious Erotica (1831). In these works, a kind of synthesis of eroticism and mysticism, eros and agape is outlined. "Religion and love," writes Baader, "which are closely related to each other, undoubtedly, are the highest gifts of life, when used wisely, they determine the happiness of such, and when used irrationally for evil, they bring misfortune to both the individual and the society of people."

The concept of "romantic love" usually includes a constant striving for the perfect ideal, a state of constant love, mystical worship of the female principle. To a large extent, this understanding of love was created by romantic poetry, especially English poetry, which created the cult of ideal, sublime love". V.P. Shestakov, Doctor of Philosophy

In the era of "romantic love", a humanistic rehabilitation of the flesh takes place, which gradually turns into the aristocratic culture of the 17th - 18th centuries. into refined debauchery. Individual love is replaced by an elaborate ritual of gallantry whose sole purpose is physical possession. "There is nothing good in love, except for its physical side," wrote the French naturalist J.L. Buffon.

Love becomes a sport, an exciting game, which is only harmed by sensuality and seriousness. Descriptions of love in some works of literature of the 18th century. resemble hunting, in which, however, unlike in earlier eras, women participate on an equal basis with men. It was this lifestyle that A.S. Pushkin had in mind when he said:
Debauchery used to be cold-blooded
He was famous for his love science,
About himself, trumpeting everywhere
And enjoying not loving.
Replacing love with gallantry inevitably leads to satiety and disappointment. The ritual gets boring, it becomes a boring routine (remember Pushkin's: "Who is not bored with hypocrisy, repeating one thing differently, it is important to try to assure that, in which everyone has been sure for a long time:").

The most talented poets, not excluding Pushkin and Lermontov, glorified drunkenness and debauchery - however, refined drunkenness, exquisite, anacreontic debauchery, which was then considered a sign of good form to indulge in. In secret high society circles, in which Pushkin participated, such “living pictures” as the death of Sodom were played out, and our greatest poet almost died from these orgies.
Philosopher M.O. Menshikov "Superstitions and the truth of love." XIX century.

In contrast to court gallantry with its conventionality and hypocrisy, sentimentalists assert the poetry of simple and sincere feelings. The hero lover of aristocratic literature cared only about his sensual pleasures, like the famous Casanova, who became the prototype of Moliere's Don Juan, for him a woman is just a game, the mastery of which strengthens his reputation as a happy hunter. Sentimentalism requires from its hero not luck and the ability to conquer, but the ability to subtly feel, suffer, sacrifice oneself in the name of love. Timid, reverent tenderness gives the lover much more than physical possession. A cult of unhappy love appears, love without reciprocity, which is portrayed as so sublime and beautiful that, even dying from it, the hero causes admiration and envy (Werther).

“Hundreds of vivid examples from the life of all countries prove that people then refused even the most modest ideological retouching, that the word“ love ”, as funny, if not fashionable, was directly prohibited at weddings.” Edward Fuchs. The Gallant Age (1715 to 1770s)

The place of love in France in the 17th century can be learned from the statements of F. de La Rochefoucauld:

“When a woman falls in love for the first time, she loves her lover, in the future she only loves love ";

"Love is most correct to compare with fever: the severity and duration of both does not in the least depend on our will";

“As rare as true love is, true friendship is even rarer”;

"A wise person understands that it is easier to deny himself a passion than to fight it later";

"Some people fall in love only because they have heard about love";

"... when people no longer love each other, it is difficult for them to find a reason to part ways ...";

"There are a lot of women who have not had a single love affair, but there is not one who has only one."

In Russia, until the end of the 17th century, when bedrooms appeared, sleeping people of different sexes and ages in the same bed was common, and everyone slept naked. Shyness was not yet developed and the sexual relations of the parents were nothing more than a part - a kind, but not shrouded in a veil of shameful secrets - of the general course of life, a part that was not specifically excluded from the field of perception of children.

On a different historical background, the love principles characteristic of bourgeois, especially American culture, were laid. Unlike the knight, who inherited his position, the bourgeois owes everything to himself. The attitude of such a person is conditioned by the sobriety of the mind; the criterion of virtue at this time is usefulness. To achieve anything, you need to be practical, adventurous, hardworking, and frugal. Working tirelessly is the key to success. Life, including personal life, must obey strictly thought out regulations.
An example of such a code is the table of virtues compiled by a famous American public figure of the 18th century. B. Franklin. In his opinion, there is no need for self-denial, from which no one benefits, nor the useless taming of the flesh. At the same time, it is necessary to indulge in "love pleasures" less often, no more than the health or reproduction of offspring requires. But by no means to the point of dullness or exhaustion, and also not to the detriment of one's own or someone else's peace and good name. Simply put, for a respectable bourgeois, passion for love, due to its uncontrollability, should be excluded from the central life values; only pragmatic tasks are assigned to sexuality - relaxation and reproduction. B. Franklin's advice on choosing a wife: open your eyes wider before marriage, and then close your eyes, i.e. more attention to her worldly qualities. It is no coincidence that the highest "surge" in prostitution coincides with the dawn of capitalism.

The aphoristic judgment of E. Haywood, from the book "Reflections on the Various Consequences of Love Feelings" (1726), that love has a destructive effect on the weaker sex, and women find it difficult to resist the state of falling in love, and only a few of them are happy in love and enjoy it, while others are unhappy and receive a double portion of suffering.

During the reign of Queen Victoria in England in the XIX century. (second half) sex was considered not so much a sin as an animal instinct, completely disgusting. The women showered each other with sentiments and taught their daughters that "women do not have passions." A girl from a good family should by no means have an idea about the anatomy of the male body, about how children are born, for the angel had to marry not only physically intact, but also completely “pure” spiritually. The cultural stereotype of this era: to divide female representatives into two categories: "exemplary" women, for whom sex is an unpleasant conjugal obligation. And the "fallen" - who enjoyed sex and hid it in every possible way, primarily from their husbands.

If sexuality could not be eliminated from the natural world, then at least it should not be visible in the world of morality. Consequently, a tacit agreement was concluded not to discuss this annoying complex either in school, or in the family, or in society, and to suppress everything that might remind of its existence.
School and church, secular society and justice, newspaper, book, morality stubbornly avoided any mention of the problem (sexuality), and even science joined them in a shameful way. She capitulated under the pretext that such vile topics of science were unworthy. And no matter how much you look through the books of that time, philosophical, legal and even medical, everywhere you see how the authors, as if by collusion, fearfully leave any discussion.
A girl from a good family should by no means have an idea about the anatomy of the male body, about how children are born, for the angel had to marry not only bodily, but also completely “pure” spiritually. Even to this day, I am amused by a curious story with my aunt, who on her wedding night returned to her parents' house and categorically declared that she would never want to see this terrible man to whom she was married; he is insane, he is a real sadist, for he made a serious attempt to undress her, and only with difficulty did she manage to escape from this obviously unhealthy encroachment.
S. Zweig

The downside of this ascetic morality was:

“Since out of every thousand people on average 350 are men aged 15 to 60 years ... for twelve men in a large city of the XIX century. on average, there was one prostitute ... Vienna was the sex capital of Europe, with 20,000 prostitutes per 400,000 population. one prostitute for seven men". English researcher R. Tannahill

“According to the calculations of a special commission, in the early 1890s. in Russia, there were 1262 brothels, 1232 secret brothels, 15365 "prostitute brothels" and over 20 thousand singles; over 14 thousand women were detained on suspicion of prostitution a year.
... the number of prostitutes per capita in St. Petersburg at the beginning of the 20th century. was about the same as in other European capitals - London, Paris, Vienna and Berlin". I.A. Holosenko.

In general, in ancient Russian literature, there are practically no plots devoted to the topic of sexual love and passion.
"Love to create is too much to want": love and sexuality. Ancient Russia XI-XIII centuries V. Dolgov

A detailed linguophilosophical study of the concept LOVE in the historical and etymological aspect (Ancient Russia) was made by Doctor of Philology V.V. Kolesov “Word and deed. From the history of Russian words. (Love and love) ". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

In Russia in the 16th century, a set of everyday rules and instructions, "Domostroy", was introduced into the practice of life. He defended the principles of patriarchal order in the family, unquestioning obedience to the head of the family, a man. Domostroy existed for several centuries and streamlined family life.

Sylvester "Domostroy". The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ..."

Wealthy families, in which the brides did not work, simply kept them under lock and key: “The girls were kept in solitude, hiding from human eyes; before marriage, a man should be completely unknown to them; it was not in the mores of the people for a young man to express his feelings to the girl or to ask her personally for her consent to the marriage. The most pious people were of the opinion that parents should beat girls more often so that they would not lose their virginity".
N.I. Kostomarov

For a long time, Russian culture has been dominated by the Christian, patriarchal interpretation of love. Marriages for economic and social reasons were naturally not based on love. This does not mean that individual love was impossible and was completely absent. Miraculously preserved Novgorod birch bark letter of the second half of the XIV-XV centuries. conveyed to us an expressive and passionate love message: "[What kind of heat my heart, and my body, and my soul to you and to the body to yours, and to the sight of you] him, so kindle your heart and your body, and your soul is up to me, and up to my body, and up to my sight ... "However, neither the church, nor society, nor the community considered love is neither necessary nor sufficient for marriage.

The Orthodox Church celebrates Valentine's Day on July 7th, on this day Peter and Fevronya are venerated, who were canonized as saints in the 16th century. On this day, it is not customary to give gifts and cards with hearts, as they do in the West on Valentine's Day. On this day, the young ask the Almighty to send down long love , and mature family harmony.

Our religion was so practical, inscribed in everyday life that no one was involved in comprehending the idea of love. Strictly speaking, how to love? This question has never been asked. Conversations about love only appeared in the 17th century. And then quite a bit. Our tradition of love relationships is not just recent - it still does not exist. When we refer to examples of conjugal love, then, apart from the story of Peter and Fevronia, we have nothing to remember ...
Professor, Doctor of Philosophy E. N. Shapinskaya

“The introduction of love into the 17th century Russian novel destroys the entire basis of plausibility. The Russians of that time did not know love according to the current concepts of it, did not know abstract tenderness, married and loved, like today's Asians. Marriage was a domestic matter, a union between two clans, a calculation of civil life. All foreigners and Russians who describe Russia at the time agree on this. We still have some love songs; I don’t think that they were very ancient, and if in some it is said about love, it is always between the common people, which had much more freedom in dealing with the female sex ”. Russian writer of the first half of the 19th century. F.V. Bulgarin.

The first documentary evidence of the importance of emotional factors in marriage does not appear earlier than the second half of the 17th century. Individual attachment was possible, but not essential. The principle worked here: "Tolerate - to fall in love."

And very often passion is born only in marriage.
Molière "Sganarelle, or the Imaginary Cuckold" (1660)

At this time (at the turn of the 18th-19th centuries), two canons were established in literature - before the wedding, the love of heroes was narrated in a sublimely sentimental, then passionately romantic spirit, it was customary to talk about family life and raising children in a mockingly ironic tone.
G.A. Khakimova

Gradually, attitudes in this respect among the nobility changed. Under the influence of sentimentalism, in the 18th century. secular love lyrics appeared in Russia. In 1802 N.M. Karamzin noted that a "new word" appeared in the Russian language - love ... Marriage, without losing its basic character of social union, also becomes more individual and selective.

Immediately after the French Revolution (late 18th century), the idea emerged that marriage should be the result of romantic love. Now, especially in English-speaking countries, this idea is taken for granted, and many do not even suspect that it was once revolutionary.
Bertrand Russell. Nobel Prize Laureate. Love and its place in human life.

By the end of the 19th century M.O. Menshikov, the philosopher of that time notes a new phenomenon, in his work "Literature played a huge role in the love cult" writes: "Acting for centuries on the unstable brains of average people, a love story corrupts the sexual feeling more than any other influence."

At the end of the 19th and beginning of the 20th century, the intellectual elite's attitude to love became polarized: a materialistic and philosophical-esoteric approach to love emerged. Common to these approaches was the recognition of the historical variability of the phenomenon of "love", the widespread use of literary examples, the emphasis on the relationship between the sensory and spiritual components in love.

Karl Jaspers - German philosopher, psychologist and psychiatrist, one of the main representatives of existentialism in the early 30s of the XX century, wrote that love disappeared, only benefit remained.

Representatives of the materialistic approach: Belinsky V.G., Herzen A.I., Chernyshevsky N.G., Sechenov I.M., sought to balance the role of the sensual and the spiritual in love: man is not an angel or a beast; it makes no sense to poetic and romanticize love relationships and subsequently be disappointed in real love, but it is also impossible to turn a person into an animal driven by instincts and animal passions. The religious and esoteric meaning of love (Soloviev V.S., Berdyaev N.A., Rozanov V.V.) is more contradictory in understanding the platonic and bodily in love. ON. Berdyaev denies sex as depersonalizing a person, and preaches spiritual love for Virgo, V.V. Rozanov, on the contrary, reduces the whole love to sexual intercourse, which he sings in the bosom of the family. V.S. Soloviev does not deny either the physical or the spiritual aspect of sexual love, however, spirituality in love, in his opinion, is higher than physicality.
More details: Philosophy of love in Russia.

From the notes of A.S. Pushkin: "I once asked an old peasant woman if she got married out of passion?" "Out of passion," the old woman answered, "I was stubborn, but the headman threatened to whip me."

Lev Nikolaevich and Sofya Andreevna Tolstoy

In real life of this period, two levels of love ideals can be distinguished: the first is characterized by a complex love feeling described in Leo Tolstoy's novels "Anna Karenina" (The second stage of love mania and Anna Karenina) , "War and Peace" "Natasha Rostova and Pierre Bezukhov. Examples of true love "

the second - the attitude of the common people to the question of love is best characterized by the statement of the footman Yasha from Chekhov's "The Cherry Orchard": "In my opinion, this is how: if a girl loves someone, then she means immoral." Or here's another, Leo Tolstoy's "The Kreutzer Sonata": "Well, how can you live with a person when there is no love? - the lady was in a hurry to express her judgments, which, probably, seemed to her very new. - Before it was not disassembled, - the old man said in an impressive tone , - now it just started .

In Pushkin's "Eugene Onegin" (first third of the 19th century) Tatiana, before writing a letter to Eugene, being in great excitement, asks the nanny.
...- "Tell me, nanny,
About your old years:
Were you in love then? " - And that's enough, Tanya! These summers
We have not heard of love;
Otherwise I would have driven it out of the world
My deceased mother-in-law. "But how did you get married, nanny?"
- So, apparently, God ordered My Vanya
I was younger, my light,
And I was thirteen years old.

What we call love, the commoner calls spoilage, dryness, which must be let loose.
And where unbridled, coarse passions cannot find satisfaction, there they also want, no matter what, to achieve their goal; experienced people know that there is nothing to dissuade and convince; the mind is lost; it is easier to act through superstition ...
V.I. Dal "On the beliefs, superstitions and prejudices of the Russian people" (1845)

For the working people up to the Soviet power love is a privilege and a whim of the masters. Marriage, a big family for ordinary people is a way of survival, in incredibly difficult conditions, and such an incomprehensible and even mystical phenomenon as love did not contribute to it in any way.

Dan. OA Platonov writes: “... Russian people preferred death or tonsure to a monastery than divorce. Folk psychology protests against divorce, they were extremely rare among the people". In pre-revolutionary Russia, legal marriage was sanctified by the Russian Orthodox Church and only by it could it be dissolved, for the majority of Orthodox Russians - religious morality, professed by believers, and such were almost all citizens of Russia, also prevented divorce. The disintegration of a marriage, sealed by the sacrament, is a godless sin for a believing Orthodox person".

Social upheaval is causing major changes in love and family relationships and traditions. F. Engels, "... in every major revolutionary movement the question of" free love "comes to the fore.

After the seizure of power by the Bolsheviks, complex and contradictory processes began, in which 4 main stages can be distinguished.

1. 1917-1936: disorganization of the traditional marriage and family structure; social emancipation of women; weakening of the institution of marriage and the sexual morality based on it; a sharp increase in the number of abortions, an increase in prostitution and sexually transmitted diseases; normative uncertainty, controversy, anarchy about love and sexuality.

2. 1936-1956: the triumph of totalitarianism; a course to strengthen marriage and family by command and control methods; establishment of total control over a person; denial and suppression of sexuality.

3. 1956-1986: replacement of totalitarianism with authoritarianism; gradual expansion of the sphere of individual freedom; the transition from command-and-control methods of protecting marriage and family to moral and administrative ones; the first wave of the sexual revolution, attempts at its direct denial, suppression, regulation and domestication.

4. From 1987 to the present: decomposition and collapse of the Soviet regime; weakening of state power and all forms of social and ideological control; the next and most powerful wave of the sexual revolution, anomie and moral panic; politicization, vulgarization, commercialization and "Americanization of love".

Even before the Bolshevik coup, its leaders were discussing a new structure of gender relations. Correspondence between Lenin and Trotsky. 1911

“Undoubtedly, sexual oppression is the main means of enslaving a person. As long as such oppression exists, there can be no talk of real freedom. The family, as a bourgeois institution, has completely outlived its usefulness ... ”(From a letter from L. Trotsky)

“... And not only family. All prohibitions related to sexuality must be removed ... We have a lot to learn from suffragists: even a ban on same-sex love must be removed ..."(From a response letter from Vladimir Lenin)

Immediately after the seizure of power in 1917, the Bolsheviks began to implement their ideas of "free love" at the state level. In doing so, they relied on the theory of communism, which predicted the collapse of the bourgeois monogamous family and the transition to satisfying sexual needs within the framework of free relationships. They believed that the upbringing of children should be taken over by the state.

It should be noted that the Bolsheviks did not invent this themselves, they, as conscientious students, learned this from the teachings of their idols. F. Engels in his work "The Origin of the Family, Private Property, State" writes: "With the transition of the means of production into public ownership, the individual family will cease to be an economic unit of society, a private house, economy will turn into a social branch of labor. Caring for children will become a universal affair, and therefore worry about the consequences that currently constitute the most significant social moment, moral and economic, preventing a girl from giving herself to her beloved man, will disappear ”.

But F. Engels did not invent it himself, he borrowed it from the Spartans. This is what Plutarch writes about ancient Sparta in his Comparative Biographies. "Lycurgus was the first to decide that children do not belong to their parents, to the entire state." When the boys were 7 years old, Lycurgus took them from their parents, and distributed them to the detachments so that they lived, played, and worked together. The main consequence of this lifestyle was the habit of obedience.

The Vladimir Council (1918) issued a decree declaring women from 18 to 32 years of age as state property with subsequent “distribution”.

In Yekaterinodar, in the same 1918, the most distinguished Red Army soldiers were given a mandate of the following sample: "The bearer of this is given the right to socialize in the city of Yekaterinodar 10 souls of girls aged 16 to 20, whom a comrade will point out".

The upper classes before the revolution preferred separate bedrooms, and the husband usually slept on an ottoman in his study. A popular story became about a professor "from the former" who complained that he was forced - because of the housing seal - to sleep in the same bed with his wife. This is an unpleasant occupation.

The main Bolshevik ideologue of "free love" Alexandra Kollontai wrote that the modern family has lost its traditional economic functions, which means that a woman is free to choose her partners in love. In 1919, her work "New morality and the working class" was published: "The ideal of" great love "(" grand amour ") is difficult to achieve, especially for men, since it conflicts with their life ambitions. To become worthy of the ideal, a person should go through a period of apprenticeship, in the form of "love games" or "erotic friendship", and master sexual relations, free from emotional attachment, and from the idea of superiority of one person over another".

"Love and new morality." A.M. Kollontai

Kollontai believed that only free and, as a rule, numerous connections can give a woman the opportunity to maintain her individuality. Any form of sexual relations is acceptable, but "sequential monogamy" is preferable, each time based on love or passion, a change in marriage partners, serial relationships between men and women. She stated that over time, the family will die out, and women will learn to take care of all, indiscriminately, children as if they were their own.

In the 20s, the newspaper "Komsomolskaya Pravda" told how two fathers came to the maternity hospital to a young mother. The woman was simultaneously the wife of both and therefore did not know who exactly was the father of the newborn son. All three were Komsomol members and students of the workers' faculty. They were not at all embarrassed and were not afraid of prying eyes. They called it love three together, they did not hide it from anyone, because it was not they who invented it and theoretically "substantiated" it. It was believed that love of Komsomol members does not know jealousy, is devoid of private ownership instincts and may well be collective. At that time, there were many such facts. They are reflected even in the movies.

“Students look askance at those Komsomol members who refuse to have sexual intercourse with them. They regard them as petty-bourgeois retrograds who cannot free themselves from outdated prejudices. The idea prevails among students that not only abstinence, but also motherhood should be treated as a bourgeois ideology ... ”(Pravda, May 7, 1925). “The husband of my friend asked me to spend the night with him, as his wife is sick and cannot satisfy him tonight. When I refused, he called me a stupid citizen who is not capable of comprehending all the greatness of the communist doctrine ..." (Pravda, May 7, 1925)

All these proletarian ideas and experiments led to surges: the number of abortions and divorces, prostitution, sexually transmitted diseases, violence. After that, the authorities decided to put things in order on the "family - spiritual front". The author of "The Twelve Sexual Commandments ..." A.B. Zalkind writes: "Sexual robbery, gnawing at revolutionary emotionality, sometimes irreparably, if the robbery lasts too long, it can slow down the construction of a bright future."

1. There should be no too early development of sex life among the proletariat - the first sexual commandment of the revolutionary working class.
2. Sexual abstinence is required before marriage, marriage only in a state of complete social and biological maturity (i.e. 20-25 years) is the second sexual commandment of the proletariat.
3. Sexual intercourse - only as the final completion of deep all-round sympathy and affection for the object of sexual love.
4. Sexual intercourse should be only the final link in the chain of deep and complex experiences that bind lovers at the moment. The social, the class is ahead of the animal, and not vice versa.
5. Sex should not be repeated often.
6. Don't change the sex object often. Less sex diversity.
7. Love must be monogamous, monoandric (one wife, one husband).
8. With any sexual intercourse, one must always remember about the possibility of having a child and, in general, remember about offspring.
9. Sex selection should be built along the line of class, revolutionary-proletarian expediency. Elements of flirting, courtship, coquetry and other methods of special sexual conquest should not be introduced into a love relationship.
10. There should be no jealousy. Sexual, love life, built on mutual respect, on equality, on deep ideological intimacy, on mutual trust, does not allow lies, suspicion, jealousy.
11. There should be no sexual perversion.
12. The class, in the interests of revolutionary expediency, has the right to interfere with the sex life of its members. The sexual must obey the class in everything, without interfering with the latter, serving it in everything.

In the "USSR there is no sex", even the date is known when he was gone - 1936, a new family code was adopted, prohibiting abortions. A course was taken to strengthen the family: "free love" was branded as anti-socialist. Any erotic and sexual information was considered immoral, which means it is closed. It was decided that ignorance in these matters is better than knowledge.

D. Philos. S.I. Hunger identified four periods in the transformation of sexual culture in the 20th century in Russia:
- emancipation of sexuality (the turn of the XIX-XX centuries);
- Dionysianism (1920s);
- eunuchism (1930-1960s);
- Sexual Renaissance (from the mid-1970s).
The developed periodization reflects not only the historical change in erotic-emotional practices, but also a gradual, uneven, contradictory transition from social regulation of sex life, relationships through traditions and customs to morality as a “plural regulator of erotic practices.

VM Rozin (born 1937), Doctor of Philosophy: “I remember my mother once said:“ My father and I have loved each other all our lives, and in our time and in our circle many lived like that. We haven't heard of any sex. Sex is a disgusting word, it is something immoral, maybe not debauchery, but also not love " ...

Evolution of ideas about love and marriage in the last two centuries. V.M. Rosin

The twentieth century, or rather its second half, occupies a special, dramatic place in the history of love. On the one hand, "he brought a rapid" democratization "of romantic love, a sharp acceleration of what can rightfully be called a" revolution of feelings ", - writes A.G. Vishnevsky. - Today romantic love is no longer a privilege of the elite, and for millions of people it is not at all what it was before."
Erich Fromm (whose classic work "The Art of Love" 1956 undoubtedly influenced subsequent research on this topic): Over the past several generations, the concept of romantic love has become common in the Western world. In the United States, although considerations of the contractual nature of marriage have not yet been completely supplanted, most people seek romantic love, a personal experience of love that should then lead to marriage. This is a new understanding. freedom of love was to greatly increase the value of the object to the detriment of the value of the function.
Another characteristic feature of contemporary culture is closely related to this factor. Our entire culture is based on the desire to buy, on the idea of mutually beneficial exchange. The happiness of a modern person consists in the joyful excitement that he experiences looking at the windows of a store and buying everything that he can afford to buy, either for cash or in installments. He (or she) looks at people in the same way. For a man, an attractive woman - for a woman, an attractive man is the prey they are for each other. Attractiveness usually means a beautiful package of properties that are popular and sought after in the personal market. What makes a person attractive especially depends on the fashion of the given time, both physical and spiritual. In the twenties, a woman who knew how to drink and smoke, a broken and sexy woman was considered attractive, and today fashion requires more thriftiness and modesty. In the late nineteenth and early twentieth centuries, a man had to be aggressive and ambitious to become an attractive "commodity"; today he must be sociable and tolerant. In addition, the feeling falling in love usually develops only in relation to a human product that is within the reach of one's own choice ... I am looking for benefits: the object must be desirable from the point of view of social value, and at the same time, he himself must desire me, taking into account my hidden and obvious merits and capabilities. Two people fall in love when they feel that they have found the best property on the market, taking into account the boundaries own exchange fund. Often, as with real estate purchases, hidden opportunities that can develop over time play a prominent role in this transaction. It is hardly surprising that in a culture where market orientation prevails and where material success is of outstanding value, human love relationships follow the same patterns that govern the market".
Love, having gone beyond the elite circle, embraced significant segments of the population, became available to everyone. Marriages for love began to seem more prestigious than marriages of convenience in all segments of the population, in all developed countries.

In the United States, where the romantic view of marriage, unlike in other countries, has been taken seriously and where laws and customs are based on the sentimental dreams of spinsters, divorce rates are huge and happy marriages are extremely rare.
Bertrand Russell. Nobel Prize Laureate. 1929

A pseudo-loving boom has begun. From the restraint of previous centuries, the pendulum swung to the other extreme - a thoughtless, exalted worship of the feeling of love. Suffering for love and obsessive infatuation with a loved one is romanticized in culture, without helping in real life.
In popular songs and operas, in classical literature and romances in daily soap operas, and in critically acclaimed films, there are countless examples of irresponsible, immature relationships that are somehow praised and considered beautiful. There are few behaviors in which people treat each other as equals, show maturity and sincerity, and do not try to manipulate or exploit their partner's feelings.
The development of mankind until the twentieth century can be considered as a leisurely walk, and in the twentieth century man began to run, and by the end of the century he ran away so much that he could barely touch the ground. The breakthrough in many fields of science, technology, medicine and genetics turned out to be simply fantastic. And in some problems a person, on the contrary, began to move away from the main path of development: alcohol, drugs, unhealthy love relationships, extremism and, as a consequence, many problems and tragedies.
The patriarchal society treated this incomprehensible phenomenon as in the proverb: "You don't know the ford, don't get into the water," and as it turned out, it was right. Young people had an orientation toward the family, toward the traditional social roles performed in it, now they have become toward the phenomenon of love. There is a certain phenomenon " love " it is the most important, great, and other life values follow later. It would be love , and everything else is an addition to it.
The attitude to the dramatized, overloaded phenomenon of love, instilled from an early age, confuses, complicates the individual life of young people, deprives it of the clarity and integrity that existed in the traditions of patriarchal Russia. Young people in love with the phenomenon of love, having no clear understanding of its boundaries, content and forms.

Since modern times, the phenomenon of love has tremendous power, it owns the minds of billions of people, but does not contribute to the harmonization and happiness of a person, but on the contrary, complicates and confuses life. While this global amorous anarchy plays into the hands of bankers and merchants, they have learned to skillfully extract profit from it.

Consumer society and its antilove essence. E. Pushkarev

Cultural and value models (in this case, in the sphere of love and sexual relations) are not only instilled in home education, but in the overwhelming majority are borrowed from various works of art that act as some kind of "encyclopedia" of recommended forms of behavior. If the era before the 1st millennium BC. this function was carried out mainly by clan or tribal customs, in the period of the 1st millennium BC. - the middle of the 2nd millennium AD such a role was assumed by religious canons and ethnic traditions during the 17th century. - the first half of the XX century. - fiction and social traditions of the habitat, then from the middle of the XX century. movies dominate, especially those shown on television and therefore have a larger audience. In this case, a predominantly European chronology of the development of the culture of love is given. In other countries, it was naturally different.
D.philos.n. A.Ya. Flier. "Love as culture".

For an objective understanding of the inter-sex amorous - erotic processes taking place at the beginning of the third millennium, it is necessary to take into account new waves of global social processes: sexual, gender and family. Not one article is devoted to this on our site, but a whole section Ecology of the culture of love.

For a long time romantic love remained an elite ideal, the lot of the elite. But not far off were rapid changes, as a result of which the understanding of love, love experience, turned into one of the highest values of human existence. And the ideal of romantic love developed over the centuries has also changed the ideal of conjugal interactions. After all, marriage is now more often concluded in conditions of free choice and out of love. Thus, literature and art can confidently declare that they suffered and, finally, introduced into the public consciousness the once elitist ideal of romantic love. When this happened, people saw how stable the foundations of the previous married life were.
In traditional culture, love is not singled out as a special problem, it simply exists along with other phenomena of human existence. Traditional culture is characterized by the belief that after marriage, love automatically arises between two people who start a family. Sayings like “fall in love, endure”, the tradition of choosing a groom, images of a wedding - all this speaks of the subordination of love to marriage and their close connection. In modern culture, the relationship of love to marriage is turning upside down, now love is accepted as the romantic basis of marriage, and marriage itself often becomes a prison for love. Love degenerates into sexuality and loses the power of a person's spiritual transformation. As a result, there is a loss of the integrity of human being.
So, if before the Second World War most of the psychiatric diseases arose as a result of the impossibility of realizing love, then after the war most patients suffer from loss of feelings and experiences, from apathy. This is due to the large-scale liberation of a person from the traditional Western culture of suppression, carried out through hobby, intensification of artificial experiences. Human involvement in the sexual revolution makes sex a key point in popular culture. This leads to the dominance of sexual interest in a being of the opposite sex and a degeneration of interest in higher relationships, in the spiritual side of love.
D.philos.n O.I. Nikolina "The Phenomenon of Love in Human Being"

E Pushkarev Chairman of the Internet Club "ENLIGHTENED LOVE"

This is one of the chapters of the book "LOVE! GOOD OR EVIL? Psychological dimensions.

In our library there are books dedicated to "love in history":

Diana Ackerman "Love in History"

Jean Jacob Bacheofep "History of Sexual Rituals"

Yuri Belanovsky, Alexander Bozhenov "Two in one flesh: Love, sex and religion"

Johann Bloch "History of Prostitution"

Vadim Dolgov “The Secret Life of Ancient Russia. Life, customs, love "

Oleg Ivik "History of sexual prohibitions and prescriptions"

Barbara Cartland "The mystery of love through the prism of history"

V. V. Kolesov “Word and deed. From the history of Russian words. (Love and love) ".

Vasily Koltashov "Sexual Revolution"

Jean de La Bruyère "The characters, or mores of the present century"

Hans Licht "Sexual Life in Ancient Greece"

Bronislav Malinovsky "Sex and repression in the society of savages"

Anna Sardaryan "100 great love stories"

Alexander Spirkin "A Brief Love Story"

Alexander Strakhov "Philosophical anthropology of the evolution of images of sex and love in the domestic culture of the last centuries"

Alexander Sosnovsky “Faces of love. Essays on the history of sexual morality "

Michel Foucault "A Story of Sexuality: Taking Care of Yourself"

"Sylvester: Domostroy"

This is a page from the section Psychology of Love

Articles related to the same topic:

Guide to the site and the main milestones in the knowledge of love. E. Pushkarev

Superstitions and the truth of love. M.O. Menshikov

Love and new morality. A.M. Kollontai

Philosophy of love and philosophy of sexuality: in the history of the development of human culture and modern psychoanalysis. V.P. Petrov.

Eros and Culture: Philosophy of Love and European Art. Shestakov V.P.

Understanding of love in the ancient world. Archaic discourse and quasi-subject of love. V.M. Rozin.

Eros in a historical and cultural perspective: antiquity, Christianity, Islam. G. Ya. Streltsova

The phenomenon of unlimited sexual behavior in the historical context of different types of sexual culture. M. Konina, A. Kholmogorova

Love, eroticism and sexual ethics in pre-industrial Russia (10th - first half of the 19th century). N. Pushkareva

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

What is love. E. Pushkarev

Briefly about love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: relationships. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: leadership in love and marriage. E Pushkarev

Psychology of love. E. Pushkarev

Love test: "love scale" by Z. Rubin.

Sigmund Freud about love.

This is one of the chapters of the book "LOVE! GOOD OR EVIL? Psychological dimensions.

In our library there are books dedicated to "love in history":

Diana Ackerman "Love in History"

Jean Jacob Bacheofep "History of Sexual Rituals"

Yuri Belanovsky, Alexander Bozhenov "Two in one flesh: Love, sex and religion"

Johann Bloch "History of Prostitution"

Vadim Dolgov “The Secret Life of Ancient Russia. Life, customs, love "

Oleg Ivik "History of sexual prohibitions and prescriptions"

Barbara Cartland "The mystery of love through the prism of history"

Vasily Koltashov "Sexual Revolution"

Jean de La Bruyère "The characters, or mores of the present century"

Hans Licht "Sexual Life in Ancient Greece"

Bronislav Malinovsky "Sex and repression in the society of savages"

Anna Sardaryan "100 great love stories"

Alexander Spirkin "A Brief Love Story"

Alexander Sosnovsky “Faces of love. Essays on the history of sexual morality "

Michel Foucault "A Story of Sexuality: Taking Care of Yourself"

"Sylvester: Domostroy"

This is a page from the section Psychology of Love

Articles related to the same topic:

Guide to the site and the main milestones in the knowledge of love. E. Pushkarev

Superstitions and the truth of love. M.O. Menshikov

Love and new morality. A.M. Kollontai

Philosophy of love and philosophy of sexuality: in the history of the development of human culture and modern psychoanalysis. V.P. Petrov.

Eros and Culture: Philosophy of Love and European Art. Shestakov V.P.

Understanding of love in the ancient world. Archaic discourse and quasi-subject of love. V.M. Rozin.

Eros in a historical and cultural perspective: antiquity, Christianity, Islam. G. Ya. Streltsova

The phenomenon of unlimited sexual behavior in the historical context of different types of sexual culture. M. Konina, A. Kholmogorova

Love, eroticism and sexual ethics in pre-industrial Russia (10th - first half of the 19th century). N. Pushkareva

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

What is love. E. Pushkarev

Briefly about love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: relationships. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: leadership in love and marriage. E Pushkarev

Love test: "love scale" by Z. Rubin.

Sigmund Freud about love.

Эрих Фромм

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Наш сайт о природе любви мужчины и женщины: истоки, течение, около любовные переживания и расстройства.

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Из книги вы узнаете: любовь между мужчиной и женщиной исключительно положительное чувство. А очень похожая влюбленность с любовью никак не связана. А недоброкачественная влюбленность - мания, она же "наркоманическая любовь", "сверхизбирательная любовь" "folle amore" (безумная любовь (ит.) не только никакого отношения к любви не имеет, а и совсем болезненное расстройство.

А научиться их различать не так уж и сложно.

У человека нет врожденного дара, отличать любовь от влюбленностей, других

псевдолюбовных состояний это можно сделать только овладев знаниями.

Жизнь удалась

Примеры настоящей любви

Пара влюбленных

Драматичные влюбленности известных людей, которые не сделали их счастливыми