PSYCHOLOGY OF LOVE. Articles
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by Leonardo da Vinci
All articles are collected here, they are grouped by topic and commented on.
Aspect 1. The accumulated knowledge is enough to understand what is intersexual individual love!
Aspect 2. An important ability of the new psychology of love is that it allows you to accurately separate love from pseudo-loving experiences, falling in love and frustration.
Aspect 3. Psychological health is a prerequisite for love.
Aspect 4. Ecology of the culture of love. Another important contribution of E. Fromm is that he showed how the social structure affects the meaningful part of love and its place in a person's personal life.
Aspect 5. More precisely, a new psychosexology. In the twentieth century, so many discoveries were made in sexology, especially female sexology, that one can say: "there was no sex before this."
Aspect 1.The accumulated knowledge is enough to understand what is intersexual individual love!
Intersexual individual love throughout all the previous millennia remained a mysterious phenomenon, despite the fact that the best minds of mankind tried to reveal it, only because
K.psh.n. L. Gozman.
They could not single out, explore and describe these constituent parts of love until the middle of the twentieth century.
Freud made more than one attempt to solve the love riddle, but since he was a psychiatrist to the core and understood the mentally ill better than the healthy, so even for him this nut was too much for him. But nevertheless, he made an important hint that the mountains of books written by poets (writers and other "artists") about the attractions and events between men and women are fantasies, artistic images, the result of "poetic freedom" that do not explain love in any way. And what is love and what is sexuality can only be determined by scientists after dispassionate scientific research.
Rene Descartes said: "Determine the meanings of words, and you will save humanity from half of its delusions."
E. Fromm, in order to determine the meaning of the word "love", introduced and explained new qualifying terms and concepts:
"true love", "fruitful love", "mature love", the most fundamental type of love, which forms the basis of all types of love, is "brotherly love";
and many sensual near-love experiences: "pseudo-love", "falling in love is one of the forms of pseudo-love", "there are many individual forms of pathology of love", "unproductive, or irrational love", "love-worship", "fake love", "sentimental love", "neurotic love", "immature form of love" or "symbiotic union". With this alone, he more than half solved the centuries-old riddle
Erich Fromm about love (excerpts from books)
The art of love. E. Fromm (fragments)
Especially highlighted signs of love from E. Fromm and comments.
Systematization of E. Fromm's love
Definition of love and its signs.
Falling in love is one of the forms of pseudo-love.
Steps of mastering the art of love, offered by E. Fromm.
Criticism of E. Fromm's ideas and proposals.
Rating of E. Fromm's ideas and discoveries.
After E. Fromm, an advanced team of anthropologists, neuropsychologists, neurochemists, neurobiologists, psychotherapists, philosophers, and other professionals, using the latest biochemical analyzes and equipment - functional magnetic resonance imaging, managed to fully reveal the mystery of the psychology of love.
Dopamine - a hormone produced in the adrenal glands is responsible, among other things, for "the pleasure of life and joy."
Psychotherapist, sexologist Ph. D. Sci., Professor A.M. Poleev.
If E. Fromm called falling in love pseudo-love, then Dr. Morgan Scott Peck specified that falling in love is "a genetically predetermined instinctive component of mating." In animals and birds, it is called rut, "mating season", mating, etc. in humans, it is called falling in love, "affective attraction." Affectus (lat.) - emotional excitement, passion. Attraction (eng) emotional attraction.
Professor, psychotherapist V. Albisetti
And a person does not have an innate gift to distinguish love from falling in love, other pseudo-loving experiences.
Therefore, we can assume that Dr. Morgan Scott Peck, with his research and the book "UNBROWNED ROAD, a new psychology of love, traditional values and spiritual development" (The book is in our library )
Falling in love (explains the ethologist). V. Dolnik
Dramatic falls in love of famous people that did not make them happy.
Abelard and Eloise
Raphael and Fornarina
Petrarch and Laura
Denis Diderot and Anna
Balzac and Ghana
Frederic Chopin and Georges Sand
I.S. Turgenev and P. Viardot
Ivan Andreevich Krylov and Anyuta
Alfred Nobile and Sophie Hess
Galina Dyakova and Paul Eluard
Galina Dyakova and Salvador Dali
Zh-P. Sartre and S. de Beauvoir
V. Mayakovsky and L. Brik
A. Blok and L. Mendeleeva
S. Yesenin and A. Duncan
P. Picasso and O. Khokhlova
A. Hitler and E. Brown
A. Pugacheva and F. Kirkorov
L. Senchina and I. Talkov
These dramatic falling in love, like most amorous plots from literary works, are love addictions and other pseudo-love disorders. They are well studied there are tests not only to identify them,
but also persons predisposed to them:
Ph.D. A.L. Fedosov "Love Addiction", Institute of Psychology named after G.S. Kostyuk APN Ukraine
Another article with similar statements Love vs pseudo-love, or about love addiction. S. Clemin
But worst of all, these pathological passions are imposed not only by culture, but also by the school Psychiatric confusion with love in school literature. E. Pushkarev
A large collection of articles and books on love addiction, which our culture often calls “addictive love” “overselective love”, “neurotic love”, “too much love”, “more than love "," Compulsive love "," toxic love ", etc. and people suffering from these disorders.
And E. Fromm rightly called all this "individual forms of the pathology of love."
After the study, they were entered into the International Classifier of Diseases (ICD-10) in section F63. "Habit and impulse disorders" is a classification of non-chemical forms of addictive behavior:
1. Pathological attraction to gambling (gambling).
2. Erotic addiction.
2.1. Love addictions.
2.2. Sexual addiction.
3. "Socially acceptable" addictions:
3.2. Sports addiction (exercise addiction).
3.3. Relationship addiction.
3.4. Addiction to spending money (shopping).
3.5. Religious addiction.
further on the list of ICD.
For several decades, doctors have been issuing bulletins on disability due to illness - "love addiction".
Love and sexual addiction. A. Tarayants
It should be noted that love addictions are not categories of immutability and rigidity, they are curable if you act under the guidance of professionals and purposefully. Now, if Anna Karenina turned to a modern psychotherapist or clinical psychologist for help, her disorder would be cured, and she would return to normal life, to the delight of her children and herself.
Candidate of Medical Sciences, Associate Professor of the Department of Psychiatry S. I. Voroshilin
it will be useful, first of all, for philosophers, , otherwise they have gone too far with the search for the meaning of love:
and other people have a lot to learn from our smaller brothers.
The continuation of K. Lorenz's discovery is another important discovery made by anthropologists, neurochemists and historians. Lust, Freudian libido, sexual attraction are all an important component of falling in love, a genetically predetermined instinctive component of mating, and therefore sexual attraction is not directly related to love.
Just that you got acquainted with the statement of the philosopher N. Berdyaev about love, but the definition of love by the philosopher V.S. Solovyov: "... the attraction of an animate being to another in order to connect with him and mutually replenish life." How are they really very different? Therefore, we have collected on seven pages a variety of definitions of love in order to independently determine which of them is right, more precisely.
Professor of Anthropology H. Fischer: “I came to the conviction that romantic love is the primary motivational system in the brain, in short, the basic human attraction to mating. Like cravings, romantic love focuses on the reward: the beloved, just as hunger focuses on food".
H. Fischer: “Romantic love is deeply intertwined with two other attraction to mating: lust - a passionate desire for sexual satisfaction and affection - a sense of peace, security and union with a partner for a long time (18-30 months). Each of these basic drives travels along different paths in the brain. Each generates different behaviors, hopes and dreams. And each is associated with a different neurochemistry".
The concept of romantic love in Western European culture: retrospectives, perspectives. O. Karpacheva
"The dual nature of man" A. Augustinavichute.
The nature of erotic feelings
Problems of psychological complementarity
What gives a person a mental supplement.
Manifestation of feelings in premarital friendship.
Table of relations between sociotypes A. Augustinavichiute.
Recommendations for the best, worst and all other combinations for love and marriage.
1. Much will become clear if we first consider "natural love" , and then "cultural love" , and then what kind of connection exists between them. Natural love as a phenomenon, in the semantic field of the same name occupies a small, peripheral place, and is there, as Cinderella. And in the first roles, pseudo-loving passions rule the ball in this field, Poor quality falling in love, pathologies that do not have to her a direct relationship, but outwardly somewhat similar.
2. The unification of sexual individual love and sex within the framework of a single phenomenon turned out to be an idea not of nature, but of man. The concept of the wife's fidelity in marriage happened only with the onset of the slave system (4th - 3rd millennium BC), and before that there was promiscuity. And for the first time, the Roman poets Ovid and Horace began to write about loyalty in love in the 1st century. BC.
"I am sure that the whole in love is not sexual attraction, bodily pleasure, communication or family, but a person (the subject of love is a person), therefore, everything listed in love is transformed and established in a new way." Doctor of Philosophy V.M. Rozin.
The same idea was expressed in his own way by another Doctor of Philosophy. L.V. Zharov: “Love, in essence, does not need bodily contact. Moreover, the body is often the main obstacle to love, especially in its physiological manifestations. For love, it would be better to have an ethereal, angelic body, or what people should find in paradise".
But there is no falling in love without sexual attraction.
If there is no sex drive, this is not real falling in love.
by Dorothy Tennov "Love and Limerence".
First, falling in love is a specific, sexually oriented, erotic experience.
Dr. Morgan Scott Peck
3. Sexual passion is characteristic of both natural falling in love, and Poor quality falling in love she is "addictive love", "overselective love", "neurotic love", "too much love", "more than love", "Compulsive love", "toxic love", etc. these are psychological, even mental disorders, which, with sufficient goodwill of the patient himself, are quite successfully cured.
And love has nothing to do with passion as well as falling in love.
Passion cannot be friends with deep love,
If he can, then they will not be together for long.
Even earlier, Plato taught that passion (pathos in Greek) is an aspect that only distracts from the essence of love.
Above it was told about the main - the most difficult, first aspect of the new psychology of love - the discoveries made in the second half of the twentieth century.
And it's better to start with E. Fromm's definition, which he made ten years before he wrote his famous book The Art of Love. 1956 :
It became clear The essence of love. E. Pushkarev
True love, it is also compatible love. E. Pushkarev
More examples of true love.
Natasha Rostova and Pierre Bezukhov.
Charles Chaplin and Una O "Neal.
Tikhon Nikolaevich and Klara Arnoldovna Khrennikovs.
Ronald and Nancy Reagan.
Boris Nikolaevich and Naina Iosifovna Yeltsin.
Mikhail Sergeevich and Raisa Maksimovna Gorbachev.
Maya Plisetskaya and Rodion Shchedrin.
Ekaterina Maximova and Vladimir Vasiliev
Paul and Linda McCartney
Igor and Alla Ugolnikov
Garik and Olga Sukachev
Ecology of the culture of love. Another important contribution of E. Fromm is that he showed how the social structure affects the meaningful part of love and its place in a person's personal life.
You can start describing this aspect with a quote from the philosopher and publicist Mikhail Osipovich Menshikov, written at the end of the 19th century, but today they sound even more relevant than more than a century ago. Unfortunately, today's journalism has not yet reached the cultural level of the century before last.
“The truth of sexual love could have been clarified without great efforts, if it were not for the immobile, centuries-old cult of this love, inherited from the ancient chivalry, dominated in our world outlook, if not for the darkness in which love is obscured by incompetent and immoral writers, poets, guardians bad traditions - all those who affirm the world outlook in humanity at this time".
"Indeed, love has become such an intrinsically contradictory phenomenon that some researchers of family life have concluded that 'love' is simply the name for the way stronger family members subdue weaker ones. Ronald Laing simply argues that love is a cover for violence." "LOVE AND WILL" by Rollo May. Of course, these statements refer only to the so-called. civilized countries into the ranks of which Russia has not yet entered, but is trying very hard.
We. The deepest aspects of romantic love. Robert A. Johnson. Fragments.
"Love has already been turned into a religion. Human love is so darkened by the excessive suffering and experiences of romanticism that we are deprived of the opportunity to treat it the way it deserves."
"Love will not suffer if it is freed from the romantic belief system. The prestige of love will only be strengthened if it is distinguished from romance."
"One of the great paradoxes of romantic love is that it has nothing to do with earthly relationships."
The consequence of a bad ecology of love is.
“In recent years, wherever I go to meet with statesmen and religious leaders, asking them what is the biggest problem in their country, I usually get the same answer: the state of the family. in the Caribbean, in South America, in the United States, in Israel - wherever I go - family breakdown is a universal problem.
That the institution of the family is subject to such attacks by the enemy should not surprise us. The disintegration of the family will lead to the collapse of civilization. The family is the first and fundamental unit of human society. "Dr. Miles Monroe.
To sum up the harmful ecology of the culture of love can only be done with sad statistics:
“From 1950 to 2002, there was a rapid upward trend in divorce in Russia, the“ boiling point ”was recorded in 2002 - 84 out of 100 marriages broke up. This was followed by a decline, but the upward trend in divorce rates in Russia continues, which indicates the existence of a serious demographic threat". Doctor of Social Sciences Professor A.V. Vereshchagin,
In a number of cases, divorce is not the worst in family history, even the term was coined by "prisoners of marriage."
“Now (1999 the trend is growing) half of young families break up in the first year of life, two thirds - in the first five years, in 70% of families that have not yet broken up, the spouses are in tense relations ...".
D.philos.n. V.M. Rozin "Problems of love in the context of the contradictions of the modern family."
According to the UN demographic yearbook 2012, Russia is the first in the world in terms of the number of divorces. Further Belarus, Ukraine, Moldova. On the 5th - the Cayman Islands. On the 6th - the USA.
And this is what the situation with love looks like in non-disintegrated families:
“According to official statistics, we have 70 divorces per 100 marriages. And I say that 100% of marriages are divorces. We don't have families as such. It's just that people live in the same territory, isolated from each other.
We have such families that only the outer shell keeps people together. I researched families where the marriage lasted 10-15 years, and asked, asked a question of this type: "You would now marry your husband, but only everything will happen again as it was." And vice versa. As a result, only 5% of men did not regret having married this woman. And 9% of women. But, let's say, I agree to marry her, and my wife would not marry me now, if on a new one. So out of 11,400 families, there are five of them, where there is a mutual choice". (Total less than 0.5%)
Corresponding Member of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, MD, psychotherapist M.E. Litvak "Love is a rare thing." Our library "Love, family, sex and about ..." contains almost all of his books.
If the result of sociological research is less than the statistical error, this means that it will not be a mistake if we accept that the phenomenon under study (love) is generally absent in married life.
K.filol.n S.V. Valiulina
The above statistics also confirm that at the everyday, subconscious level, all native speakers of the Russian language confuse love with being in love, which means that they marry out of love, not out of love.
But on the cognitive level, most people distinguish between them, and when asked directly, they will express their position about the differences between love and being in love.
Even more sadness and tragedy with the ecology of love is given in This is a malicious word "love". E. Pushkarev
In the 1920s, nearly two-thirds of American women complained of excessive sexual activity from their husbands; Now this opinion is shared by only 5%, and in 12% of marriages, wives are dissatisfied with the number of sexual contacts.
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