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Our site is about the psychology of love between a man and a woman.

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happy family We consider in detail the origins of love, flow, about love experiences, all kinds of types of love, disorder, i.e. the whole range of intersexual individual drives.

And we are considering all this from a scientific position - Psychology of Love . The complexity of this position lies in the fact that irrational - romantic views prevail in the culture of developed countries:

"Love that moves the sun and the stars" Dante;

"Love is a miracle of civilization" Stendhal;

"Love is the apotheosis of life." A. I. Herzen

"Love, love, there is no point in the rest." J. La Fontaine;

"The highest value on this Earth is Love." A. A. Blok;

"Love is the seal of the image of God in man" M.A. Bulgakov;

"... Love is generally a precious blessing, happiness and consolation of human life - moreover, its only true basis ..." S. L. Frank;

"Love is a monarch among the senses" Yu.B. Rurikov;

“Love is the ultimate goal of world evolution, the truth of the universe. Love is the highest reality, the eternal basis of everything ... ". Novalis;

"Love is the most important word in the language: love plays a major role in life ...". "Five languages of love". Geri Chapman

I love you to tears,
I love you crazy ...
Alexander Serov

According to statistics, in Russia about 80% of couples marry for love , in the USA more than 90%.

And then:

"Now (1999, the trend is growing), half of young families break up in the first year of life, two thirds - in the first five years, in 70% of families that have not yet broken up, the spouses are in tense relations ..."
D.philos.n. V.M. Rozin "Problems of love in the context of the contradictions of the modern family"

The number of divorces per 1000 marriages 2016, Russia - 895, Bryansk region. - 1253, Chechnya - 158.

Another fact.

Corresponding Member of the Russian Academy of Natural Sciences, MD, psychotherapist M.E. Litvak "Love is a rare thing":
“According to official statistics, we have 70 divorces per 100 marriages. And I say that 100% of marriages are divorces. We don't have families as such. It's just that people live in the same territory, isolated from each other.
We have such families that only the outer shell keeps people together. I researched families where marriage lasted 10-15 years, and asked a question of this type: "You would now marry your husband, but only everything will happen again as it was." And vice versa. As a result, only 5% of men did not regret having married this woman. And 9% of women. But, let's say, I agree to marry her, and my wife would not marry me now, if on a new one. So out of 11,400 families, there are five of them, where there is a mutual choice". (Total less than 0.5%)

According to the 2012 UN demographic yearbook, the top three in terms of the number of divorces include: Russia, Belarus, Ukraine, in sixth place of the USA.

And the question arises: “Over the past nine centuries, mountains of amorous literature, oceans of theater and screenwriting have been written, and there are few lucky ones living in love. And why?"

But because:

Robert A. Johnson in his book "We: The Deeper Aspects of Romantic Love" writes: "... love is already turned into a religion. Human love is so clouded by the excessive suffering and experiences of romanticism that we are deprived of the opportunity to treat it the way it deserves". And at the end of his interesting book he gives useful advice "saving love from the quagmire of romanticism". (The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ...".)

"It turns out that America is the only country in the world where love is a national issue. It seems that a huge number of Americans of both sexes are in a state of confusion about love" Raul de Roussy de Seims.

"Indeed, love has become such an intrinsically contradictory phenomenon that some researchers of family life have concluded that 'love' is simply the name for the way stronger family members subdue weaker ones. Ronald Laing simply argues that love is a cover for violence." "LOVE AND WILL" by Rollo May

From prose by Victoria Tokareva: "Love is otherworldly, you can doubt its reality ..."

"... love is the most invented world. The greatest invention of mankind."

One of the chapters "A book for those who like to live, or the Psychology of personal growth" Doctor of Psychology N.I. Kozlov, is called "On love and other speculations on an especially large scale" (The book is in our library "Love, family, sex and about ... ")

But the worst thing is not even that the modern culture of love is overheated, overloaded with meaning, mystery, expectations of "unearthly joy" but that pseudo-love disorders, well studied in psychiatry and listed in the international classifier of diseases, are chosen as an ideal - ICD 10
Poor quality falling in love - mania

A large collection of articles and books about love addiction, which our culture often calls "addictive love" "overselective love" , "Neurotic love", "too much love", "more than love", "compulsive love", "toxic love", etc. and people suffering from these disorders.

And all this pseudo-loving pathology is implanted in school: “Psychiatric confusion with love in school literature.

family problems
As a result, "ecology of the culture of love" turned out to be unsuitable for normal life as a result of which, a catastrophic number of divorces and collapse institute of the family.

"The consumer society and its antiloving essence."

"In recent years, wherever I travel to meet with statesmen and religious leaders, asking them what is the biggest problem in their country, I usually get the same answer: the state of the family. I hear it in the Caribbean, in South America, in the United States, in Israel - wherever I go - family breakdown is a universal problem.
That the institution of the family is subject to such attacks by the enemy should not surprise us. The disintegration of the family will lead to the collapse of civilization. The family is the first and fundamental unit of human society". Dr. Miles Monroe.

Still, Miles Monroe is not entirely right, everything he writes refers to the so-called civilized countries, but in the Arab and other Muslim countries (we have in Chechnya, Ingushetia), Indochina, the institution of the family is all right. There, no enemy can attack the family, the traditional foundations are strong.

Where there is love, there is trouble,
Tears are water
Christina Orbakaite

The Apostle Paul, when he wrote: "This mystery is great ..." hardly imagined that this confusion took so long will last. And only in the twentieth century serious scientists, primarily "Erich Fromm about love" (whose classic work "The Art of Love" 1956 undoubtedly influenced the subsequent research of this topic) they took up the solution to the lingering mystery, it began to be quickly revealed.
Now about the entire spectrum of intersexual attractions, and most importantly, almost everything is known about love, which means that we can enjoy all its benefits. You only need:

grains - "Natural love"

detach from

chaff - "Cultural love"

i.e. Separate cutlets from flies. And it turned out - love an extremely positive feeling, which becomes stronger and more beneficial over the years. This is confirmed by a few examples of true love.

About this and other important aspects of love, I, the chairman of the Internet Club "ENLIGHTENED LOVE" Evgeny Pushkarev, tell on the pages of this site and in my book . "LOVE! Good or evil? Psychological Measurement" In this book, already in 2010, teaching students on the Program of the discipline - "The Psychology of Love".

To get acquainted for free download This is my book presentation

And having mastered the knowledge, you:
- first - independently learn to understand love feelings and distinguish love from all kinds of fakes;
- then - consciously find true love.

want love

The CLUB also helps those who have problems:
  • love (lack of it) has become a difficulty, but what to do? How? When?: unrequited, unhappy love, including in an old form pesters. Not happy with the white light;
  • there is no love, but you want to love and be loved;
  • there is some feeling for this person, or maybe it is not love at all? I'm afraid to make a mistake. Maybe better keep on waiting for the prince on white horse?
  • I have read everything, but some points I do not understand that are not you can decide on your own, you'd better join the Club.

I would especially like to highlight the specialization of the Club for seemingly different forms of manifestation, but close for reasons of the following problems: "How to get rid of "Love"? , "I can't love ..." , " I am married, but I fell in love ...". We have collected enough materials and advice in order to first independently decide what it means, and then with knowledge cases to take active steps to resolve them.

And the main thing here, and in other cases, is not to confuse love with natural falling in love , even worse with low-quality falling in love these are completely different feelings.

Your stories with our comments

I'm married but fell in love ...

I am married but in love Hello everybody! My story is about unhappy love. About unhappy because I fell in love with a young man, communicating on the Internet. We both have families and children. We have been communicating for a year and a half, almost every day. There was a lot of everything .... both joy and disappointment.

Everything has already mixed up, real life seems unreal, as if it is a period of time that we are trying to live as quickly as possible, striving and hurrying to something ... We cannot meet, since we live in different countries ... but we still found each other, despite the distance. How to be now? How to return the normal flow of time? How to learn to live real life in real life without looking at the virtual one ???? I know that we will not be together, but I cannot stop ...

read more

Your stories without our comments

love is not for the infantile

Many letters come to the Club, mostly asking for help to sort out their love problem. The complexity of such a request is that it is impossible to understand all the circumstances of the problem from a short letter, and without knowing them it is impossible to give full-fledged advice. Another difficulty in giving advice is that 80% of the people who ask the question are already charged with the desired answer, and if they are advised, they stop perceiving anything other than this expectation. Plus, complex problems don't have easy solutions.

read more


Psychological jokes

Psychological Jokes

- I'm afraid that I'm losing my wife, - the man complains to the psychotherapist.
- Is she avoiding you? - he asks.
- No, absolutely not, - the man answers, - she meets me at the door when I come home. My shirts are always carefully ironed, she cooks well, the house is always clean. She even lets me watch all my programs on TV and never gives up on my perverted sex needs.
- So what's the problem? !!!
- Perhaps I am too sensitive, - says the man, - but in the evening, when I go to bed, and my wife is sure that I fell asleep, she often whispers in my ear: - God, when will you finally die freak!

The client enters, silently hits the psychologist in the ear, and leaves just as silently. The psychologist is at a loss:
"And why did you come? Maybe say what you wanted?"

read more

Family jokes

Family Jokes

The wife came to visit her husband in prison and asks how he lives here.
- Actually, not bad at all. True, they give little to eat, but in any case no one forces them to wash the dishes.

There Is A Trial. The witness is asked:
- Tell me, is it true that the defendant lives with this woman as husband and wife?
- No, mister judge, much better.

read more

The most read articles on our site are:

Guide to the site and the main milestones in the knowledge of love. E. Pushkarev

The essence of love. E. Pushkarev.

What is love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: compatibility, love. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: relationships. E. Pushkarev

Man and woman: leadership in love and marriage. E Pushkarev

Natasha Rostova and Pierre Bezukhov. Examples of true love. E. Pushkarev

Test for love: "scale of love and sympathy" Z. Rubin.

How to get rid of "love"? E. Pushkarev

I'm married, but I fell in love ...

I can't love, I just can't, I can't.

Sigmund Freud about love. E. Pushkarev

Modern sex and marriage - myths and reality. V.G.Taktarov, R.V. Beleda

Sexuality, female and male orgasms.

Sexual preferences of psychotypes.

Sexual compatibility of socionic psychotypes

and also sections:

Psychology of love.

Site map.

Эрих Фромм

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Экология и драматургия любви

Наш сайт о природе любви мужчины и женщины: истоки, течение, около любовные переживания и расстройства.

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По моей книге уже с 2010 года обучают студентов по Программе дисциплины – «Психология любви»

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Из книги вы узнаете: любовь между мужчиной и женщиной исключительно положительное чувство. А очень похожая влюбленность с любовью никак не связана. А недоброкачественная влюбленность - мания, она же "наркоманическая любовь", "сверхизбирательная любовь" "folle amore" (безумная любовь (ит.) не только никакого отношения к любви не имеет, а и совсем болезненное расстройство.

А научиться их различать не так уж и сложно.

У человека нет врожденного дара, отличать любовь от влюбленностей, других

псевдолюбовных состояний это можно сделать только овладев знаниями.

Жизнь удалась

Примеры настоящей любви

Пара влюбленных

Драматичные влюбленности известных людей, которые не сделали их счастливыми